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Kinds of love
This article was prompted by the debate about what is love, which I recently had to deal with quite often. And where each person affirms his understanding of love, sometimes radically different from the ideas of other participants in the discussion.
The question of love always remains ambiguous, and often in search of answers to this question: “what is love?”, disputes flare up. But, at the same time, each person knows that he loves and knows that he is loved, but everyone has their own criteria that are different from the criteria of other people, that is, there are different types of love.
So what is love? This question has occupied mankind since ancient times. I propose to consider some types of love.
For example, in ancient Greece, the following basic types of love were distinguished:
Eros. Enthusiastic, passionate love, based primarily on devotion and affection for a loved one, and then on sexual attraction. With such love, the lover sometimes begins to almost worship the beloved (oh). There is a desire to fully possess it. This love is addiction. There is an idealization of the beloved. But there always follows a period when “eyes are opened”, and, accordingly, disappointment in a loved one occurs. This type of love is considered destructive for both partners. After the disappointment, love passes, and the search for a new partner begins.
Ludus. Love is a sport, love is a game and a competition. This love is based on sexual desire and is aimed solely at obtaining pleasure, this is consumer love. In such a relationship, a person is set to receive more than give something to his partner. Therefore, feelings are superficial, which means they cannot fully satisfy partners, they always lack something in a relationship, and then the search for other partners, other relationships begins. But in parallel, relationships can be maintained with their regular partner. It is short-lived, continues until the first manifestations of boredom appear, the partner ceases to be an interesting object.
Storge. Love is tenderness, love is friendship. With this type of love, partners are at the same time friends. Their love is based on warm friendships and partnerships. This type of love often arises after many years of friendship or after many years of marriage.
Philia. Platonic love, so named because at one time it was this kind of love that was exalted by Plato as true love. This love is based on spiritual attraction, with such love there is a complete acceptance of the beloved, respect and understanding. This is love for parents, children, for best friends, for the muse. Plato believed that this is the only kind of love that is true love. This is unconditional love. Selfless love. Love in its purest form. This is love for the sake of love.
In addition, the ancient Greeks identified three more types of love, which are a combination of the main types:
Mania or as the ancient Greeks called this type of love: "madness from the gods." This type of love is a combination of eros and ludus. Love - mania was considered and is considered a punishment. This love is an obsession. She makes a man in love suffer. And she also brings suffering to the object of the lover's passion. The lover strives to be near the beloved all the time, tries to control him, experiences insane passion and jealousy. Also, the lover experiences mental pain, confusion, constant tension, uncertainty, anxiety. He is completely dependent on the object of adoration. The beloved, after a certain period of such ardent love on the part of the lover, begins to avoid him and makes attempts to break off the relationship, disappear from his life, protect himself from the obsessed with love. This type of love is destructive, destroying both the lover and the beloved. This kind of love cannot last long, except in a sadomasochistic relationship.
Agape. This type of love is a combination of eros and storge. This is sacrificial, selfless love. The lover is ready for self-sacrifice in the name of love. In such love there is complete dedication to loved ones, complete acceptance and respect for loved ones. This love combines mercy, tenderness, reliability, devotion, passion. In such love, partners develop together, become better, get rid of selfishness, strive to give more than take something in a relationship. But it should be noted that this kind of love can also be found among friends, but in this case, there will be no sexual attraction, everything else is preserved. Also, such love is spoken of in Christianity - sacrificial love for one's neighbor. Save for a lifetime. But it is very rare.
Pragma. This type of love is a combination of ludus and storge. This is rational, rational love or love according to "calculation". Such love arises not from the heart, but from the mind, that is, it is born not from feelings, but from a consciously made decision to love a particular person. And this decision is based on the arguments of reason. For example, “he loves me”, “he cares about me”, “he is reliable”, etc. This kind of love
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