namf
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Posts: 312
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"How long till my soul gets it right
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light
I call on the resting soul of Galileo
King of night vision
King of insight"
I'm going to need all your prayers, Jsmart.. Thank you so much for thinking of me...I am in some sort of maddnness of my own making, trying to untie the knots of my ignorance, slowness, stubborn concern for doing things my way, the balanced fate of my next year and these near 3 decades I've spent on this earth to wonder where exactly I am...
Jsmart! That was such a kind and funny message:::weird_look:: ::weird_look:: I was really happy to see your support--it helps a lot to hear your words and know what you've been going through too in this USMLE world. I hope everything works out for both of us...
Josh2004--Hey, what can I say!! You are carrying the enthusiasm for both of us, and I owe you! Thank you so much for your tremendous support!!!
Nuprin, to borrow from the 90s: you are always "the bomb"
It seems I think about anything but the material at hand, doesn't it? I am moving today, the last day wasn't nearly as good...Overwhelmed in a tidal wave of incompetence, inadequacy, fear, and just general immobilization by the massive amounts of work I still want to review...at least 37% of Qbank left, at least 800 pages and 30 hours of Goljan, 1 more time through FA (0 so far, just parts), and the HY Imm, Cell, and Biochem, and neuro books. Oh yeah, revise pharm, MMI, and do the NBME test...
G-d help me--your prayers mean everything. Thank you. Thank you...
"Galileo's head was on the block
The crime was looking up the truth
And as the bombshells of my daily fears explode
I try to trace them to my youth...
I'm not making a joke
You know me
I take everything so seriously
If we wait for the time till all souls get it right
Then at least I know there'll be no nuclear annihilation
In my lifetime I'm still not right"
Does anybody know what the Indigo girls were talking about?? I am always such a fool for pretty sounding songs; I always try to see if their lyrics are trying to tell us something important....Sometimes, they might.
I promise to let everyone know how it goes,if not so regularly in these last 6 days before August 3d's big day...and I glimpsed somebody put up a thread about "98/99 who will believe you" or something like that...I'm not going to get 98/99 when my Qbank average to date is barely hanging at 54%...I just promise to let you know the truth: did I pass or fail? I promise--and it's going to be interesting to see what happens to me if I don't...
Maybe I'll be writing this diary for a year. Hey, webmaster, you might need to get a bigger box to keep all this.... :lol: :lol:
Finally, my eternal salute: F :!: CK the USMLE--pass, fail, or sail.
Back to Goljan....THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING THIS A BETTER EXPERIENCE; PREP4USMLE PEOPLE: YOU'RE my BLESSING!!!!!! :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_salut: :icon_salut: :icon_joker: :icon_joker:
P.S. I will not be needing my Qbank after August3 (good to Sepember9). Please pm me if anyone is interested--thanks!
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| nuprin
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until you mentioned it, i hadn't realized that "the bomb" was so 90s. *sigh* getting old, i suppose. at least i still look 22.
i think the indigo girls (emily, in particular) are exploring the idea of reincarnation and nirvana, but to do so is to reject the deeply ingrained judeo-christian paradigm. the concept of many lifetimes representing many chances to make mistakes, be reborn, and be refined each time is appealing, but smacks ever so delicately of sacrilege. therefore, she calls on galileo, who was willing to give up his life at the hands of the powerful Catholic church for what he perceived to be the Truth: that the earth was one of many objects that revolved around the sun. in her personal quest for the Truth, she, too, must sacrifice a part of herself, the very foundation of her faith that has been laid down and built upon from her childhood days to the present. in addition, if is the Truth that we are all reborn and reborn again until we reach perfection/nirvana, then the ending of the world with a man-made bang becomes an impossibility.
it's nice to take a break from science to wax onto- and teleological (or just interpretational). i hope this explanation hasn't succeeded in squeezing me into a stereotype, if that was your intention, namf. 
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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Thanks Nuprin,
That helps a lot--especially:
" in addition, if is the Truth that we are all reborn and reborn again until we reach perfection/nirvana, then the ending of the world with a man-made bang becomes an impossibility"
--and this nterpretation makes perfect sense to me...Until I read your thoughts on it, I was wondering what on earth (no pun, no pun!) she was trying to say with that line about "At least I know there'll be no nuclear annihalation in my life time. I'm still not right". And I think that fits with the edge of sarcasm that I could feel HEAVY from the moment on in the song when they start giving "thanks" to those whos problems they've inherited from past lives, and the idea of perfecting themselves only to be used by someone (like Sherlie McClaine??) to write books and profit on the soul-work they do in future lifetimes...
A really thought provoking song. No, I don't spring traps on friends (that's how I feel about the people on this board). Especially you. And I'm not sure what the stereotype you're referring to would be either, but here's how your thoughts strike me: unique and with much depth + creativity. Not just here, but throughout that I've read you--and this is just a "chatty internet portal", so I can only imagine if you sat down to compose with intensity (I assume it is recreational here). So, no, I don't see you in any stereotype. Moreover, I think "stereotyping" is just lending frail guidelines at best anyway to ordering a person's world, leading to mostly unweildly, cumbersome, and often distorting generalities when put to the test of a closely examined individual from among whatever category. Will I be put into some stereotype for speaking out against what has often been rattled off as "labeling"??
If you have any additional interpretations/wish to break down a few more lines for me--I'd be happy to read them. Anyone else too, please.
Anyway, this may be my last post until the test. I'm really worried about it. I have nothing good to say about my state of mind...So I'll tell you a few lines from one of the songs I play for inspiration. I have a lot of things I hoped to refresh at the end--especially pharm, mmi, cell bio, biochem, physiology..all the stuff I seem to forget quickly like CD clusters etc...Here's eminem, then:
"Look..if you had ONE SHOT..one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted..for one moment..would you capture it? Or just let it slip?...
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow,
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime."
(Eminem--p.s., I don't know much about Eminem or The Indigo Girls--its just the sound and the lyrics of their songs have made me listen. I don't endorse them.)
I gotta study--Tuesday, I face the monster. Please pray for me. I am really scared..I will post my NBME score when I take it in the next few days. I hope soooooooooo much to get above 400. That's why I keep putting off the attempt, afraid I'll be short.
:shock: ::weird_look:: :icon_shake: :icon_study: :-k ](*,) [-o< :evil: :| 
P.S. Yes, the Qbank is still available...pm me.
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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P.S. A few thoughts that I HAVE NOT HEARD, or NOT NEARLY ENOUGH:
"The USMLE...is a killer test.
This test is just totally impossible.
The test is undoable. You could still pass it, but it's not something you should just sit at home and say, 'It's no big deal' about.
I failed this test and it terrifies me that I will on retake again. It has really hurt my confidence quite a good bit to score a 169. Then again, I didn't use Qbank much, and underused First Aid. This time I underused First Aid again, but did a lot of Qbank.I hope I pass,I hope I pass,I hope DARN IT!"
GooD LucK EVERYONE!
P.S. these sayings are meant to help people like me who needed to hear that others are struggling too. IF it doesn't speak to your situation or makes you nervous, please disregard. It wasn't meant for you and likely doesn't apply to you. On the other hand, if you find these thoughts a relief--I have hit my mark. Feel free to say so here too--it'll be my reward!
Thanks again~
:wink: :wink: :shock: :P
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| retroviridae
Forum Guru
Topics: 29
Posts: 871
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Namf, relax. You will do fine. It is just a test. Like many you have taken before and will take again. Believe in yourself and you can achieve great things. Trust me, nothing on this test is relevant to you being a good doctor. It is just one more hoop you must jump through to be a doctor in the US. I'm not going to lie to you, this last week will be hell. But keep focused on your goals. Remember why you want to be a doctor in the first place. Remember the people on this forum. Best of luck!
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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Retroviridae, PsychDr2B, everyone here: THANK YOU SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE~~~
Your words and thoughts give me such joy...I know I am not alone--& moreover the mood, the grace, the kindness I feel here...It's such a different feeling from some angry, edgy, competitive boards I've seen. Anyway, I just feel greatful for that tonight. Thank you : )
I'm going to bed. 4-5 more days (the last Monday partially a day off as planned)...
Here's a new song based on the Indigo Girls for my situation:
"How long 'til my brain gets it right?
Can this human being ever reach that 182 light?
I call on the resting soul of Dr. Krick,
King of medical sciences,
King of DNAinsight"
OK, that was a fittingly ridiculous end to another ridiculous study day. I'll call my book compiled from these enteries <USMLE Made Ridiculous>.Heh
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| josh2004
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Topics: 5
Posts: 168
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Keep going namf!!!
<:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:>
Just get rid of the bullshit usmle thing....!
Its just ridiculous to read those things again and again!They dont have any right to descriminate people with the score and ask people to give it again for just few points.Anyway this is the last chance... give it a shit!!!!!!I mean it.
:icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o<
I will pray for you....the end of this diary will be happy !!!!!!
___________________
99 is 99....no compromise!No matter how much you will have to burn for it!!!!!!!
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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THANKS A LOT, JOSH2004!!!
LETS BOTH KEEP KEEP KEEP GOING! <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:>
Namf--fighting for SuRvIvAL
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| PsychDr2B
Forum Elite
Topics: 35
Posts: 197
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Namf, I pray for you in these days before your exam. Please get plenty of rest.
and dream this reality:
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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Thanks, PsychDr2B...
Am I hallucinating (or more accurately, "illusioning") as I decompensate before this exam...I just imagined I saw the most beautiful graphics in your message, with the most wonderfully supportive words...THANK YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND! I PRAY FOR BOTH OF OUR DELIVERANCES--and for everyone here as well..
I am about to take my NBME assessment in 1 minute...
You are an inspiration, PsychDr2B, as I head into the final hours of this great battle...thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers--as you are in mine.
Namf
P.S. How did you do that!!?? It's wonderful.
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| docarjun
Forum Elite
Topics: 11
Posts: 334
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All the best namf!!!!!!!!
Dont worry...its your time now,you wil be fine!!!!
We will all pray for you!Just do it!
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| josh2004
Forum Senior
Topics: 5
Posts: 168
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"PsychDr2B" wrote:Namf, I pray for you in these days before your exam. Please get plenty of rest. and dream this reality:
My answer- C
Nice graphics!!!
how could you do that?
Anyway..namf, dont worry at all! Everybody here sailing in the same boat!
You will do great..no doubt about it!
Just keep your spirit high for the last few days!
All the best for the nbme....you will surely get more than 500 this time.
:icon_thumb: :icon_thumb:
___________________
99 is 99....no compromise!No matter how much you will have to burn for it!!!!!!!
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| Jsmart
Forum Elite
Topics: 16
Posts: 230
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Know that YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
Go go go go go go !!!!! <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:>
We pray for you everyday dear....
BEST WISHES
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| Ahdy2000
Forum Senior
Topics: 5
Posts: 203
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You have been an inspiration on this site, and I'm sure your words have helped many people try to sort through their emotions before the test.
You will do spectacularly; I am sure of it.
Good luck and, of course, G-d speed.
a
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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PsychDr2B, Jsmart,Ahdy2000!, Josh2004, Docarjun......your prayers are working: NBME 460!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I can do this Tuesday, I will pass.
370 1 month ago=+90!!!
That is why I'm ecstatic! To go up 90 points surpasses my wildest dream of topping 400 and having a shot at passing. I think I can really do it now...but I still somehow can't believe it. It's like I don't really understand why I am better if I really am...I hardly feel any better at this stuff. My Qbank score *might* have edged up perhaps 5%...? But it's really like a miracle to me. I want to believe I am better, but I don't feel I am. I don't want to argue with my score! But if and when I pass the USMLE, that's when I'll believe it--not sooner.
I know what it is, actually. It's all YOUR PRAYERS. That's the only thing that it could possibly be. THANK YOU FOR CARRYING ME ACROSS THIS 1st warmup--the NBME could have shattered my confidence with a 350...This 460...is a blessing. I just hope I don't forget what I know (and don't get any biochemistry) Tuesday!
I promise, as always, to tell you exactly what happens--pass, fail, or sail.
THANK YOU SO MUCH~~~~~
:icon_bounce: =D> [-o< :icon_study: #-o / :icon_freeze:
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| Jsmart
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Posts: 230
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:lol: :lol: :lol: Very happy Namf to hear this words ...Good score
I am sure you will pass in USMLE- No question about it :wink:
Just THINK BIG and be CONFIDENT dear YOU CAN DO IT <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb:
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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Thank you Jsmart...You are really Jsweet too you know!
LETS JUST KEEP GOING--ME AND YOU--THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
<:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> :icon_study: :icon_study: :icon_study: :icon_study: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_pirat: :wink: :lol:
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| Jsmart
Forum Elite
Topics: 16
Posts: 230
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Will you please rest tomorrow evening ??? The exam is on Tuesday :shock: , Isn't it?
I have been praying for you today in the church...
Stay confident and enjoy your last minutes :icon_study: :icon_study: :icon_study:
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| josh2004
Forum Senior
Topics: 5
Posts: 168
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:icon_bounce: :icon_bounce: :icon_bounce:
yo!!!!
You are doing a great job,man!!!!!
You will do fine tomorrow.I will pray for you.Dont think anything now.
why dont you go and watch a good movie tonight?it will be nice to relax you.Umm what should i suggest..i guess you may repeat your favourite one or go for something new.You had mentioned about "Last Samurai",i too liked it a lot.Go for it.In recent release i will say go for "The bourne supremacy".
and tomorrow evening namf will be finished with step 1,great man!I am just waiting for the end of these studies.
hope it will finish soon!
really happy for you......You are above 400!now no worries!
have a good time tomorrow.Show those ******* what you are!
All the best friends!!! :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb:
Everybody pray for our dear friend namf..
Just pray that God should give namf...good guessing,good concentration tomorrow.He should get the questions which he know!!!!
[-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o< [-o<
___________________
99 is 99....no compromise!No matter how much you will have to burn for it!!!!!!!
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| josh2004
Forum Senior
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whats up?
:shock:
where are you?
:roll:
must be relaxing and enjoying!!!!!!!!!
ye............. .I am happy..finally you got a relief!
___________________
99 is 99....no compromise!No matter how much you will have to burn for it!!!!!!!
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| PsychDr2B
Forum Elite
Topics: 35
Posts: 197
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Namf, please enjoy your much needed rest and relaxation. By the way, now that you have some free-time, you can make those "smilies" like I did for you, by going to www.smiliegenerator.com. Click the ENTER box. There are directions how to personalize a "smilie". In the meantime, take it easy! All your friends here hope to hear your feedback soon.
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| josh2004
Forum Senior
Topics: 5
Posts: 168
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:shock:
where are you?
:roll:
___________________
99 is 99....no compromise!No matter how much you will have to burn for it!!!!!!!
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| namf
Forum Elite
Topics: 80
Posts: 312
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Hey Josh2004, PsychDr2B, and all the other good guys and gals on here who I have regretfully made to wait this long for my report. I am very sorry. I faced unfortunate circumstances--a close relative had a birthday immediately after the test yesterday, and all of today was spent on my first 3d year rotation, Surgery--from which I will be uncerimoniously YANKED if my USMLE should fall below the magic 182 number.
So here I am about to crash finally--about to face a new battle. I heard that from the class above mine, several people had failed the USMLE the year before, and that several of those as well went on to struggle in their rotations--failing 2 more in one case I heard of. So my battle continues...almpst unabatted.
I have to stop this here but I promise a full and decent report in the very near future. I am really sorry to delay, but I have nothing in my tank--yesterday USMLE, today new, first ever, very demanding surgery (getting pimped already--thank goodness I knew my pharmacology..)
I will just say I did not struggle as miserably as on the first test...who knows how it will go....I pray I passed. I certainly did not guess as blindly as before ...I kept hearing the prayer one of you kindly said for me--that I guess well. That may be the difference between passing and failing this test for me.
I will hope my 460 NBME was the correct one, not the 370. An average of the 2 would be fine as well. Darn. That USMLE is one hard test for me...
OK. More detailed analysis to come soon. Sorry to make you wait...but I can't even look back--I have to struggle to pass surgery now!!
P/S Making my last offerfs on Qbank. I have only 70% done randomly,and of course you can use all the 2100 questions just like I did. It runs until September 9th. I will include my Goljan + an added surprise gift if you take it off me. I am as reliable as the USMLE is hard!!
Thanks for listening, and love to all my angels--especially the ones still struggling in this USMLE world to pass through their trial by fire. I will just give you my very best advice that I know one time here before I go: give it the best and everything you've got everyday now; it will be too late to regret on the day or day after the test (I do not regret!). And don't be frustrated or dissatisfied with your work--this often leads to cessation of studying. It is better to study 12 hours daily felling yhou are moving slowly than 4 hours hard, then can't do anymore for another day because so dissapointed in yourself. JUST DO IT; THERE"S NO EASY WAY OUt!!!
keep GOING!!!
more soon.... =D> =D> :icon_study: :icon_study: :icon_study: <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:wahtch_where_you_go:> <:can_u_hear_me_now:> :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: :icon_thumb: /
P.S> I'm just glad it's over. hopefully, for ever!!
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| PsychDr2B
Forum Elite
Topics: 35
Posts: 197
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THANK YOU FOR THE REPLY AND BEST OF LUCK AND CONTINUED PRAYERS FOR YOUR SURGERY ROTATION! Please check your PM's.
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| josh2004
Forum Senior
Topics: 5
Posts: 168
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/ / / / /
i am happy ,you are done with it!
now good luck for your surgery rotation! :icon_thumb:
and no problem with the exam experience post.I was just curious about how was it for you.
okie..enjoy man!
___________________
99 is 99....no compromise!No matter how much you will have to burn for it!!!!!!!
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