SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Well here I am, hopefully keeping a journal that all can see will shame me into a more consistent study schedule. I started out with the thought I would take my Step 1 within a month after completing my 5th semester but then reality kicked in. So fine, I decided I would study for 8 weeks intensively and then knock the test out of the field. Wrong again.
My first NBME exam came back at 350....confidence slipping....then I took my second NBME three weeks later...320...confidence is now MIA. So I to extend my eligibility period and now I don't have a set date, just the knowledge that I have until October to set things right or I am screwed. So I watch Kaplan Vids and read my FA. I did USMLEWorld questions and it squashed my nonexistent confidence into a pasty pulp. I've listened to Guljian lectures 3 times and could probably recite them from memory. Alas I am running out of ideas on how to make my brain truly reason through the questions the Step might throw at me.
My situation is unique, I have no family that will help me out due to converting from Judaism to Islam two years ago. So for now I am staying at a friend's house and sleeping on her office floor. She is really great, she doesn't ask for any money which is good because I don't have any to give. I may have to get a part time job soon though just to eat and have gas money. I am trying not to worry and put my trust in Allah but I am human and given to doubt. I often wonder if I chose the right path by going into medicine, afterall, maybe I am just not smart enough. I read about these folks making 99s and high 200s and I wonder what th heck am I doing wrong? Am I capable of even passing? Shouldn't I be able to study hard and do well? Sigh.
I read about people studying 12-15 hour days and I wonder how do they do that?? I can study about 8 hours and my brain literally begins to bubble. My body aches with exhaustion and I just want to lay on the carpet and sleep a year. So for now I am study/watch videos for six hours then I practice questions for two hours. So far I've watched two hours of Kaplan Pharm videos and am taking a lunch break. So we'll see how the rest of the day goes.
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Uhhh no, if you are familiar with historical quotes then you would understand the reference. "Speak softly but carry a big stick." Could you please edit the comment though, I am uncomfortable with such language in my journal.
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| Aashi
Forum Moderator
Topics: 113
Posts: 1,061
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Salam "Speakssoftly"
8 hrs of study is really good..Dont beat yourself that u cant study upto 12 hrs at stretch, at the end of the day how much you retain from all that study is all that matters..I would suggest you to do UW subject wise on tutorial mode as you finish a particular topic, If you do it this way you wont score low and lose all your confidence..Once you are done with UW, then do it randomly on timed mode to get the feel of the real exam..3 times goljan, wow buddy! did you read rapid review after you listened to hislectures?If not try reading RR as you finish hearing his lectures, this can only make your concepts stronger..
Most importantly,remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.
Every day do your best. ALLAH will do the rest!
GL with your prep!
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"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your EYES off your goal."
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| usmlekiller
Forum Guru
Topics: 18
Posts: 1,010
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well said 
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FUTURE 99ER
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Salaam Aashi!
Jazak Allah khair for the advice! I need to get a part time job so I can afford another subscription to UW, inshallah then I will do exactly as you instructed. I don't have the RR to go with the Goljian lectures, but I do have typed notes and follow along in those. I also go to Webpath and do fairly well on the Path questions but I think the questions are too easy and give a false sense of security. My weaknesses are Pharm and Biochem, mechanisms really knock me off balance. Thank you so much for the advice and words of wisdom.
Hiya USMLEKILLER, I think you're screenname is awesome, gives me hope everytime read it.
Still plugging through Pharm lectures, autonomic is fairly straight forward in my opinion. ONce you break things down by DUMBBLS you're golden. It's those pesky antiarrythmic, antihypertensive, and cancer drugs that slap me around.
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Oh, to whomever removed the offensive post, thanks!
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| study499
live@ur full potential
Topics: 5
Posts: 589
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Hi SpeaksSoftly,
I am absolutely shocked by your story...you know why...because the first time ever I read your post in the support section, as if someone told me or direct me to do what I did...you know what I am talking about...then after a few days a friend of mine told me what have you done...you even don't know this person...and it is not secure what you did...and I was not even worried, I knew that I did something right...and now for sure I know that I did the best thing I could have ever done with regards to this forum...I am so happy...
please don't get discouraged by slow progress or uw's scores...as Aashi suggested, do the questions in tutor mode...and also have your first aid open....if you don't know the answer...look it up in the first aid....80% of time or more you will find the answer there...isn't that amazing....it is there in FA...but we just didn't pick it up....however this is not true for biochem...learn biochem from the questions or kaplan....remember if u pick up the answer in tutor mode...that's it...the explanation would appear...so look up for the answer in FA...FIND IT...it is there...then click on it....and mark it in ur book...or add the extra notes in explanations to that section of FA....I am sorry if i am just talking nonsense...I just want to say, please keep using UW....and only learn from the questions...
this prep is difficult for everyone...no matter how much you know or able to study...it is still a huge amount of information...this is more than a test of your knowledge...it is a test of your strengths...your patience...your selfesteem...your trust...your faith...and more and more.
by knowing alittle about u now...i am sure you are gonna make it....
I will be praying for you and also for your family to understand you one day....we are all free to choose how we want to live our lives...I have so much respect for you...not because you have chosen Islam, but because you have chosen what you have gained knowledge about...and not what one's born with...
I absolutely love your avatar...so pure and innocent...
God will help you through this path and everything else....and please ask me for anything you require...even though I am struggling myself to get there...but I beileve we all can do this together...
All the best !
Edited by study499 on 07/11/08 - 01:24 PM
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Anousheh Ansari who was born in Iran is the First Female Private Space Explorer & First Space Ambassador.
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| Aashi
Forum Moderator
Topics: 113
Posts: 1,061
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SpeaksSoftly wrote:
Oh, to whomever removed the offensive post, thanks!
You're welcome!
___________________
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your EYES off your goal."
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Study499,
I want to thank you again for your help and what you've done for me. It has truly helped me in more ways than you can imagine. I was feeling sort of like I was all alone and that no one really cares about a stranger. It's been hard being disowned from my family and I feel sort of like a tribeless gypsy sometimes. But then you PM'd me offering to help out and I really felt hope again. For that I owe you my undying thanks. INshallah you will be greatly rewarded for your kindness and blessing will just rain down on you. 
Aashi,
You're awesome!
So I went over autonomics today which was a fairly simple review. Tomorrow I will review the notes I took from the video and glance over my Kaplan Pharm book. Then I will move onto the next six hours of lecture and try to stay focused, it was hard maintaining focus today. A friend of mine will be taking her Step1 at the end of the month, I tried to get her to request an extension but she said she just wants to get it over with. I was sorely tempted to do the same as that would mean I would be done by next Saturday.
But I had to be honest with myself and knew I would either make a low score or fail. So I had to grudgingly go to the ECFMG site and request an extension. INshallah it was the right decision and hopefully this extra time will make for a wise choice. I had completely lost track of time and didn't even realize it was Friday today! How does that even happen? I think the stress is starting to get to me as I've lost 4 pounds in one week...and it's not like I am not eating. But I guess I just burn the weight right off studying so much.
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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I am already sick of pharm, sometimes it seems like everything is simple and I know all the drugs by heart. Then I do questions and all the info jumbles up and I wonder where in the heck did all the knowledge go?? I decided to take a mini break this afternoon so I don't burn out this early in. I am seriously considering scheduling my Step for mid-late August. I want this over with and behind me, no longer feel this cloud hanging over my head. It feels like my life is on pause and I just want to unpause it and move on.
IN the meantime...goat herding...possible second option for career? :::giggle:::
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Taking a break today...though I may do some review questions tonight. I have been visiting this site
http://www.flashcardexchange.com/
and going over pharm stuff. I also was going through webpath and doing the practice quizzes. I was starting to feel a bit crispy with these long study days and didn't want to burn out. Tonight I may gor through my Lange Micro/Immuno book and do the practice questions.
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| azi2004
Forum Newbie
Topics: 2
Posts: 6
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good luck speaks softly, keep it up
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Thank you Azi!
Well today I am going over biostats and listening to the Kaplan lectures on it. I am actually impressed because this prof is very good at breaking down the pieces.
In the meantime I called the only mosque in my city and asked if they knew anyone hiring for part time work. The secretary told em to fax my resume and she would speak to some folks and see if they were interested in hiring me. I feel mixed about getting a job because I feel I may lose my focus on my studies. But I am at the point where it's not an option to be unemployed right now, I am almost completely tapped in funds. 
I just wish I could fast forward through all this and be back in school and working ym way towards my MD. I hate this weird limbo feeling I have right now, it sucks.
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| usmledreams
Topics: 1
Posts: 60
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hey speaksoftly......
just keep on studin, allah will find ways and means to help
'FOR WHOEVER PUTS HIS TRUST IN ALLAH SUFFICIENT IS ALLAH FOR HIM'
good luck!!!
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| ganesha123
Forum Guru
Topics: 27
Posts: 508
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good luck speaks softly..!! study as much as u can..dont be intimidated by scores or study patterns of other people... have faith in yourself and above all in god.. u will do great..!!!
also all the best for ur job hunt..!!
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Thank you god...
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Usmledreams,
I am studying very hard but may need to also "tie my camel" as far as getting a job goes. Thanks for the encouragement though.
Ganesha,
Thanks for the cheers, I need all the positive words I can get!
So today I was going over the questions I got wrong in Biochem. SOme of them were just stupid mistakes but some of them required me going back and fine tuning the details of my knowledge. I am going to do some more Biochem questions tonight and then do some more pharm review. Tomorrow I am going to reread the biochem section of my FA and then maybe do some immuno review.
At this point I've already gone over every subject and need to to start skipping around and see if my mind can adjust to different subjucts. Afterall the test is not given subject wise so I need to train my brain accordingly.
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| SpeaksSoftly
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Grrrrrrrr. I did 50 practice questions this morning in Biochem and did horribly. I have't really studied biochem in a few weeks but how can one forget all this info? It seems like I learn everything I need to know but two weeks later it has drained out of my brain. I wish I could figure out how to make things stick.
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| dowjunk
Forum Elite
Topics: 14
Posts: 435
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ASA speaksoftly, you know what after all that you have done and are doing to your life theres just one way you can go.........and thats to the top of both the Worlds!!!
All prayers!
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Grad of 2007. Work in progress.......
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| azi2004
Forum Newbie
Topics: 2
Posts: 6
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speeaks!!!
you've been kind of quiet, How are you doing? I've been out of focus for a bit (3 days to be exact). I'm hitting it hard again. I'm studying by systems right now. I started w/ cardio, gonna do all the UW phys, pathphys, path, and pharm related questions. I make notes on the questions and add to FA. I postponed my exam for the 27th of august.
Why am I telling you all this!!!!!!!!it's because you know me better as Brother Omar from miami.
I'm gonna write my progress on your journal. I hope you don't mind. Okay talk to you later and Make DUA for me.
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| antidepressant
Forum Guru
Topics: 38
Posts: 1,335
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salam speak,i am touched by your post, i hope you manage to get a job soon.I believe you can get high score too, not everyone is extra ordinary, it must be hardwork that they got such high score. my prayers with you.
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Striving for excellence!!!!!!!!God help me!!!!!
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