new_n_lost
Politically InCorrect
Topics: 653
Posts: 6,085
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon"
Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
um......equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work."
"Tripod?????"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long.
Madam?
Madam?
.......
Good Lord, she's fainted!!"
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FORUM RULES-- Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck --P4U World.." The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
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| arlete
Intern in 2009!!!!!
Topics: 30
Posts: 2,235
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 Great one!
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When men make the rules, God decides the exceptions.
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| carmen77
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
Posts: 91
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| heartblock
Forum Newbie
Topics: 4
Posts: 50
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cant stop laughing
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| RX 135
tormenta
Topics: 23
Posts: 522
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___________________
“People don't change. For example, I'm gonna keep on repeating 'people don't change.' ”
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| kingsofke
Forum Guru
Topics: 24
Posts: 715
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hahahaha , hilarious
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In Life there are neither rewards nor punishments, just consequences.
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| paheli
It'sAllAboutGoodKarma
Topics: 177
Posts: 2,366
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I can't believe this thread actually has a 5/5 rating. Are we deprived or what???
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Prepare as if you're the worst, Perform as if you're the best! As you dream, so you manifest. So, DREAM BIG!! When you face hardship, remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.
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| P4a99
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 34
Posts: 2,290
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Amazing talent NNL. You should write a book. 
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2008 Step 1 Study Plan Discussion ..... I am a moderator not a source for download links. Please do not ask me for any.
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| new_n_lost
Politically InCorrect
Topics: 653
Posts: 6,085
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paheli wrote:I can't believe this thread actually has a 5/5 rating. Are we deprived or what???
Nah Just Depraved. 
___________________
FORUM RULES-- Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck --P4U World.." The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
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| amybmc
Forum Newbie
Topics: 4
Posts: 30
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its very funny
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| Lex
Forum Junior
Topics: 18
Posts: 60
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| shpp
Forum Newbie
Topics: 2
Posts: 34
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lol!!!!!!!
even funnier is the 5/5 rating
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| RX 135
tormenta
Topics: 23
Posts: 522
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___________________
“People don't change. For example, I'm gonna keep on repeating 'people don't change.' ”
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| bioguy
Forum Guru
Topics: 47
Posts: 841
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i have got just no words to describe how hilarious this is...
i am still laughing out loud!!!!!!!!!!
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| vanshita
Forum Guru
Topics: 23
Posts: 824
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paheli wrote:I can't believe this thread actually has a 5/5 rating. Are we deprived or what???
you are right
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| P4a99
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 34
Posts: 2,290
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Now we've got 3 five-star ratings!
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2008 Step 1 Study Plan Discussion ..... I am a moderator not a source for download links. Please do not ask me for any.
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