 |  Group 4 Repeaters Un matched in 2008
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| Author | 39 Posts |
whiterabbit
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Hi GUys, What are you guys doing ?
How are you Holding your heads and spirits up?
For me somedays I am strong.other days I am down......I am living from moment to moment. It is becoming apparent to me that my dream of doing a residency in US is.....just another lost dream. Soon I will be leaving the shores of US. Its highly unlikely that I will ever come back.
Each day seems surreal......I think this is how death is like. Funny........I think I can face death now.....I dont think I am afraid of death anymore.......Dont worry guys I am talking of the loss of fear of death.....I am not suicidal
But after this experience I think death has no meaning for me.
How is everyone else doing?
I pray a lot now. THat is my only source of strength.
What is your secret?
Let me know.
WR
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| Lex
Forum Junior
Topics: 18
Posts: 60
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No secret
I have my Bipolar moments.....
Its hard, when we all worked hard for this.....I wish everyone can match
Maybe we all can, some just have to take the longer road
Like you said... my emotions also vary day to day
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| whiterabbit
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I don't sit in my room now.....sit out in some coffee shop which offers free wifi .
Started studying something..........
I used to run and do yoga before the match. Now ............post match ..i have to start again.
Its a good stress reliever. But between my job,studies and Job......I have no time.
Prayer is a stress reliever. That is my last bastion ..
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| Anamgarcia
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
Posts: 214
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WR... I am with you...
I was very mad at God when I didn't match, but things have gone very bad since I fought with Him, so I started praying again, it does releve some tension, but as you said, really everything is so surreal, I can't understand it. My biggest support has been my daughter and on and off my husband (when he is not on call) It feels like I can't let go....
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| moe214
Forum Senior
Topics: 10
Posts: 120
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my secret i think is HOPE....hope to match next yr, but i'm also scared....how about if i dont match again..then... what is my secret gunna be.
the worst part about this is the feeling of helplessness, its not like any other job that u can go and knock on the doors of hospitals and ask'm if they have any opennings. we have to wait one, two,... more yrs. and YES; THIS IS WHERE I THINK NRMP SYSTEM IS FAILING. THERE SHOULD BE SOME KIND MAGICAL ANSWER FOR THE PPL THAT GO UNMATCHED AT LEAST AFTER THE 2ND YR. THEY NEED TO PUT A DIM LIGHT FOR US AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD..SO WE CAN KEEP OUR HOPES UP. FOR GOD SAKE WE WENT THROUGH MED SCHOOL, DONT DENY US OF WHAT WE WORKED SO HARD FOR..PLZ, KEEP THAT CANDLE BURNING FOR US AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.
hey guys/gals lets keep in touch and talk about this ..it mite help to b less painfull.
anamgarcia; i feel your bitterness and your anger, but plz dont be mad at god...god didnt do this to us.
good luck and god bless
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| nyimalay
Forum Elite
Topics: 10
Posts: 282
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I m planning for next year match.
If i don't match, i will go back to my country.
America has been so saturated. You will see it if you stay like 1year in US.
Becoming board certified means not about getting every blessings.
Also not becoming is not the end of the world.
We are still good doctors. Even very hardworking , caring doctors.
I will use my skill and knowledge to all poor in my country.
If any strong reason to start a life/ end the life in US, try your best and never give up. Hard work will pay off one day.
But don't waste too much of career, time or effort knowing that there are places apart from US that need us desperately.
May god bless all doctors here.
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| Anamgarcia
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
Posts: 214
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Sometimes it is not so easy to reconsider your choice.
My husband has a life here, my daughter was born here, the only one that has not make it yet is me... I can not ask all my family to sacrifice just for the sake of my desire. I think that is were all becomes surreal, because I love my family, but I can't conceive myself as anything different than a doctor...
I am in the depressive mode today
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| MDin08
Forum Junior
Topics: 14
Posts: 95
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i'm sorry guys to hear that u did not match, reading all your feelings i had tears in my eyes & i could relate to this feeling of helplessness & depression b/c i've been thru that for the last 2 years...i was supposed to apply last year but when i got my step 1 results i though life was over, i did all this hard work to get a 76!!!!!...but then i gathered myself & studied for step 2 ck & cs...yessss, i had to give up last year's match to make my cv look better than all thos others who had awesome scores but i didn't give up, not even in my heart...i put on a brave face & tried every possible way to improve my cv & in a way it was good to have 1 more year after getting done ith all the steps as in this way i managed to do research, observership & externship & all these experiences gave me the confidence & the positive attitude that the programs look for in a resident...i also became more fluent in english & knew how & what to talk about to keep up with a conversation & avoid those silent wkward moments!!
like ana, i also had family here so couldn't go for the other option & honestly speaking i didn't wanna go for the other option b/c that way i'll always regret in my heart that if i had stayed longer & just tried a bit more harder i would have been where i ever dreamt for......so all of u please don't lose hope & also please don't waste time...get on teh internet & start looking & applying for research applications & observerships & whatveer u can get ur hands on...remember, if u start felling low & depresssed other people will start taking u like that & if u stay positive & high spirited other people will also perceive you like that & think no matter what happens he/she always pulls thru it with grace & honour....so all of u out there, get up gather your courage & start taking action from now,....it's only 12 months(365 days)!!!...thsi time can fly if u start ur reseach of some usce & u wouldn't even know & the next year application time will be here.
i hope my words were a bit of encouragement for you gusy & u all will always be inmy prayers!!!!!
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF U!!!!
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| whiterabbit
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Thank you nyimalay and mdin08.
Lets keep our spirits high.
I am presently on the east coast of USA. If there is anyone out there with no money/no place to stay please free to stay with me. I will be in US for only 2 months more. You can stay till then.
Lets keep our spirits high..........God will guide us all to the right path.
WR
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| MDin08
Forum Junior
Topics: 14
Posts: 95
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YEAHHH, THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!!!
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| raves
Forum Elite
Topics: 21
Posts: 221
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count me in guys....i know what it feels like...m upset at myself and everyone around me and have become bitter and depressed. i have been sitting at home doing nothing but studying and this is what i get in the end. have some marital issues too, so life has been tough for me and i was hoping that atleast something would go in my favour at last, but no....i dont know what m gonna do now. and the worst part is i dont even have the time to whine and cry as i know that i need to put some thing in my CV for the next year. life would be so tough, i had never imagined, but i guess we just have to keep going.....this too shall pass......hopefully....
___________________
'NISCHAY KAR APNI JEET KARO'
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| GLO MD
Forum Guru
Topics: 9
Posts: 817
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I'm also deeply touched by your posts guys! I'm very sorry that you are going through such difficult times!! All I can tell you is that God is always with you and that He has a plan for each and everyone of you! I know that if this is what you guys want He will open the way, for some reason He decided that this was not your time but it does not mean that you will not get there!! Don't get mad at Him... I know He is doing the best for you... keep on praying and working hard... and most of all take some time to really feel what you are feeling.... don't repress it... it is normal to feel like this! I would be feeling ever worse than you guys so do feel w/o fear and once you have lived your pain than it will be time to move on and gather strenght to continue this fight! I know all of you will be succesful in the end because there is nothing more powerful than a dream and someone willing to go the distance for it!
God bless all of you, I will keep you in my prays!
Sincerely and with love,
Glo
___________________
Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground....Theodore Roosevelt
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| Lex
Forum Junior
Topics: 18
Posts: 60
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THanx GLO MD
I think I am done with my DAGBA....well today is seems like that......now off to making my plan a reality
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| whiterabbit
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GLO MD wrote:
I'm also deeply touched by your posts guys! I'm very sorry that you are going through such difficult times!! All I can tell you is that God is always with you and that He has a plan for each and everyone of you! I know that if this is what you guys want He will open the way, for some reason He decided that this was not your time but it does not mean that you will not get there!! Don't get mad at Him... I know He is doing the best for you... keep on praying and working hard... and most of all take some time to really feel what you are feeling.... don't repress it... it is normal to feel like this! I would be feeling ever worse than you guys so do feel w/o fear and once you have lived your pain than it will be time to move on and gather strenght to continue this fight! I know all of you will be succesful in the end because there is nothing more powerful than a dream and someone willing to go the distance for it!
God bless all of you, I will keep you in my prays!
Sincerely and with love,
Glo
Brays.!!..!! Just kidding you Glo
Thanks man........for now I have turned up the volume on my juke box.
No more drunkuness for me..........I have given up my wine..
Bye for now guys
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| moe214
Forum Senior
Topics: 10
Posts: 120
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GLO; thank u for ur support and kindness..id like to take this opportunity and congratulate u in ur match..u were a gr8 inspiration to all of us in this forum and i hope u 'll come back every now and then and post a few words and let us know how ur doing....wish u the best in ur journey and may god look after this angle for as long as she lives...
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| Anamgarcia
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
Posts: 214
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WR... please don't give up your wine..... I can't get drunk you see? I am very pregnant so I have to suffer this in a sober state.... please get drunk for me!
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| whiterabbit
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Hey Anamgarcia................I will drink to your health and your child's.........Thanks mate....and congratulations.....I wish you a happy motherhood. I am so happy for you.
One of the most beautiful periods in life is to have a baby and rear children.
You are blessed.
Keep in touch
WR
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| Anamgarcia
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
Posts: 214
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thanks WR.... for all the blessings you are sending me... I pray that things work out for you very well ... just keep your faith... when God close a door he opens a window.... so just look around.
love
Ana
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| damian33
Forum Junior
Topics: 5
Posts: 91
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Hey Guys !!!!!!!!!!! Light up people. Everyone life is tough and not always goes the way we planed it.
Congrats!!! Anamgarcia for your pregnancy.
WhiteRabbit keep your cool and never give up.
I graduated in 1998 took me a lot of years to pass my exams working full time to achieve my dreams putting a side my personal life in order to conquer my goals and after all this time I got a position in a ACGME accredited program. After doing a 6 months observership and a lot of sacrifice. But of course everyone experience and circunstances are so different . For instance in my case I stayed single no family in order to do whatever is neccesary , but of course that does not work for everyone.
Remember Anamgarcia, WR,Moe214,Raves,Lex, that When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
___________________
Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed
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| damian33
Forum Junior
Topics: 5
Posts: 91
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Also don't forget these ones;
For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.
Have you got a problem? Do what you can where you are with what you've got.
Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.
___________________
Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed
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| Anamgarcia
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
Posts: 214
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hey damian..... congrats on your position... and I see what you are sayig... yes it seems like we are drowning in our own self pitty, and I can tell you that we all wanted to get over it, but sometimes it gets hard... you are right we neeed to work harder on surviving after this hit....
I know you will be a great resident.... now d not postpone your life any longer OK?
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| tolito
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 119
Posts: 2,174
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i feel for you guys. i cannot say i know how it feels i can only say i have been there before. last year, i did not match. this year, i matched into internal medicine. it is bittersweet for me being an orthopedic surgeon of over 10yrs in my home country. but guys, i will only encourage you to persist and BELIEVE in your self. i will also encourage you to broaden your horizon.... dont be fixated on a particular specialty. i hear that psychiatry is the easiest program to get into. believe me, i am not being condescending or patrionizing. i researched applications into internal medicine, pediatrics, family medicine, emergency medicine, gen surgery and orthopedic surgery for the last match. i even prepared statements for each specialty. oh yes. my friends thought i was crazy, my husband dd not talk to me. only my mom could understand how desperate i felt. i had to yield to pressure and the lack of finances so i applied for just int medicine, gen surg and ortho surgery. i made 83 applications becasue, i kept applying for more. the program i matched into, i almost did nto attend the interview because my friend thought i should have no problem with surgery. so friends, brothers and sisters, NEVER give up. so long as there is life, there is HOPE.
ALL THE BEST NEXT YEAR.
___________________
It has been a looooong hard journey but I am inches away from my destination...
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| damian33
Forum Junior
Topics: 5
Posts: 91
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Anamgarcia,
Thanks . By the time I have children my kids will call me grandpa Best of luck to you.
___________________
Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed
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| whiterabbit
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| moe214
Forum Senior
Topics: 10
Posts: 120
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hi ana; that's the attitude i like to see, congrats on ur pregnancy..the worst thing u can do to that baby is to be depressed and sad..i do blve in god and faith...god mite close a door or a window..but for you ...he will open a gigantic GATE..a GATE of happiness and prosperity..god bless you and ur family.
Anamgarcia wrote:
thanks WR.... for all the blessings you are sending me... I pray that things work out for you very well ... just keep your faith... when God close a door he opens a window.... so just look around.
love
Ana
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