| Author | 21 Posts |
wywywy2006
Forum Elite
Topics: 43
Posts: 166
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I felt so sad after I saw my match result. I matched to a very good IM program, but far from my home. My hubby can't move with me recently and we don't know if he can find a job there. We already bought a home in the city where we are living now and love to live here. When I ask him what he plans to do, he is just silent. Three years is not long but not short. The saddness in my heart is just killing me now: all of the hard work I have done only brings me such a miserable life !!!!
I hate the match
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| P4a99
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 37
Posts: 2,339
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While Im very sad to hear this, why did you apply, interview, and rank the program if moving was not possible?
I hope you sort everyhting out smoothly. 
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| DrVirgo
Forum Hero
Topics: 1096
Posts: 3,514
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I'm so sorry to hear of your unfortunate situation.
May I please ask: If you didn't want this position, why did you apply for it, interview there, and then rank it if you knew that chances are that you may match there and have a miserable life?
I guess sometimes in life we have to make sacrifices... Please try to look at the big picture and how this is a GOOD thing instead of all the negatives... There are many others who are UNmatched... If you don't want your spot, just let me know.. I'll take it!
Anyway, good luck, and I hope you can at least travel on your breaks to see your husband.
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
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| P4a99
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 37
Posts: 2,339
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Photocopy! exactly the same thoughts 
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2008 Step 1 Study Plan Discussion ..... I am a moderator not a source for download links. Please do not ask me for any.
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| GoodGirl
_________
Topics: 96
Posts: 1,274
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Hello,
believe me, the time does not matter, I'm an army wife , just facing to my husband's 2nd time 15 months deployment .... It is hard to be separated , but not impossible, when 2 of you are willing communicate, work it out, certainly you can overcome the distance and 3 years too.It's late to cry over the '' unlucky match'', you made mistake of applying too far, but it's time to feel blessed about it and work it out with your husband, it's him you have to talk to.
Good luck .
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Prioritize & simplify.
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| Justice
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 106
Posts: 2,050
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Hey all,
with all possibilities and technologies of our life the problem you discuss is surely manageable... Imagine couples with kids!!! In a country where you can call unlimited long-distance calls for free after 9 pm and on weekends, can have web-cams and fly across the country for ~$300, the matter you discuss is miserable... You got a pass into the world of dreams!!! Go there, and be happy!!!
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Don't live in a town where there are no doctors
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| wywywy2006
Forum Elite
Topics: 43
Posts: 166
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We have communicated on the phone over three years before we lived together. It is very hard to keep long distance relationship.
I cried for a career woman's life. I am well educated and want to have a nice job but also family life. However, things just can not work out.
There are very few programs in the city where I live and they are extreamly reluctant to take FMGs. I only got one interview here and did not match to that program. Maybe you say why I have done so far to get matched. Yes, it might be true. I should not make the decision to apply for residency here.
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| paheli
It'sAllAboutGoodKarma
Topics: 177
Posts: 2,466
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GoodGirl wrote:
Hello,
believe me, the time does not matter, I'm an army wife , just facing to my husband's 2nd time 15 months deployment .... It is hard to be separated , but not impossible, when 2 of you are willing communicate, work it out, certainly you can overcome the distance and 3 years too.It's late to cry over the '' unlucky match'', you made mistake of applying too far, but it's time to feel blessed about it and work it out with your husband, it's him you have to talk to.
Good luck .
I love this post of yours, GG.
___________________
Prepare as if you're the worst, Perform as if you're the best! As you dream, so you manifest. So, DREAM BIG!! When you face hardship, remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.
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| shpp
Forum Newbie
Topics: 2
Posts: 34
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Hey wywy..
you are not alone. I am in the same boat, and on top of that, I am expecting a baby. So imagine......however, I am just grateful that I matched and am willing to do any adjustment to get through this. Its really not hard to be in different states, especially within the US, since communication is so easy. Its only 3 years!
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| Peace18
Forum Newbie
Topics: 4
Posts: 19
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Think another way around: What if you did not even match into this program? I bet the sadness will be so much worse than how it is now. Believe me, there are thousands unmatched applicants are willing to take WHATEVER it takes to get a position. Feel lucky and feel blessed. Thank God for what he brings you as always. I don't think you made wrong decision to apply for that program, your Igo drove you there. so take it and be happy. Your husband is a key here. Silence won't help, actually it makes you feel unsure. Talk it out, you need a positive suppot, you need reassurance.
Life is not always perfect. we can' t and should not ask too much.
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| arlete
Intern in 2009!!!!!
Topics: 33
Posts: 2,341
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Believe me, one day you'll arrive home so exausted, not knowing if you want a shower, a hot dinner or to go straight to bed, that not having to interact with anyone in such a foul mood will be a blessing!
I hope you'll be able to prepare a lemonade with this lemon, and your love is so strong that will survive and overcome the distance. 
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When men make the rules, God decides the exceptions.
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| B12
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 41
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same situation here... my fiancee and I both tried matching.. I matched and my fiancee didn't... we tried our best to scramble and it didn't work... worst part is, I matched into a program several states away... everyday my fiancee puts a smile on for me and congratulates me when I know how hard and diffcult it is... it kills me. we went through medical school together, clinical together, applying together, all tests together... i am so sad at a time that should be filled with joy.. i am happy and greatful, but i think it is only natural to feel this way..
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| chiqui
Forum Senior
Topics: 5
Posts: 173
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Same boat W: went abroad to study medicine, met hubby, had 2 kids, passed all steps, matched into first choice, hubby denied green card. Can't go to the US with us. Period. I plan to complete my training so that I can secure a financial future for myself and my kids. I'm sure the rest will fall into place as we go along.
This may sound awful, but it sounds to me like you knew what choice you had to make when you applied. If you ask me, I think you made the right decision.
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In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.
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| arlete
Intern in 2009!!!!!
Topics: 33
Posts: 2,341
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I am praying for all of you, that the obstacles will be overcome.
___________________
When men make the rules, God decides the exceptions.
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| wywywy2006
Forum Elite
Topics: 43
Posts: 166
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Thank your guys. I feel much better now after talking with my hubby this morning.
It's hard, but we have to work out.
Blessing to everyone
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| nervous wreck
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 37
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hey wywywy2006..i cried my lungs out after matching too..im single and new to the u.s and have lots of family in penns and some in ohio ,progs which i ranked high but landed in kentucky!! wish i could switch with someone in cleveland but...i guess tehre is something good in everything that happens....it shall only be lonely in the begin..im sure u can work ur way to a transfer if required next year...dont lose heart..
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| doc_mishel
Forum Newbie
Topics: 0
Posts: 6
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wow! it feels good reading this thread... knowing that there are people out there in the same situation as me.
i prematched in a place 4 hours away from where we live now. i have a 4 year old daughter who will be starting kindergarten in sept. my husband is having trouble finding a job in the place where i matched. so we decided that my daughter will go on "vacation" with my mom in our country for my 1st year. at least by the time she comes back next year, i have adjusted to residency... plus at that time my husband will apply at my program too... and we'll be together... we've been sacrificing for almost 3 years! to get into reisdency... and here is the break that we have been given.
so my husband plans to set up a computer which will be turned on all the time with a camera so my daughter can see me anytime she wants (provided i am home) and he will set up the same in where we live now.
make use of technology! it is awesome.
good luck to everyone. remember... do not treat these things as "problems"... it is just a situation which will have a solution.
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| Malithahe
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 171
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Same here. I have 1 yr old and am pregnant now. My hubby had his job on a working permit and they started processing H1 but today he officially informed his boss that he will quit to move with me to another state. Sometimes he will endup jobless due to visa issues but he is ready to sacrifice 3 yrs ( at least 1 yr, then probably he will be able to find something). I sacrificed 2 1/2 yrs of my life in this country jobless and he says now it is his turn. So hope for the best and plan ahead.
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Although there are many barriers, people who do good do not fail to pass all those successfully ...
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| Lex
Forum Junior
Topics: 18
Posts: 60
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Congrats to guys for matching!! and Good Luck!!
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| blury
Forum Senior
Topics: 32
Posts: 92
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hello everyone....just came to the forum after a long time as i called in sick today...i just want to let all u moms n wives know that i went thru the exact same thing last yr...i matched far far away from my husband to a very good program.....it was very hard on me n my daughter who was a yr old wen i started my residency....she stayed with me n i had to keep bgoing on but the good part is that i got a transfer as a pgy2 back home and that too in one of the best programs in the country....i'll b moving in june back to my hubby....so girls just b strong n there r still ways n hopes....good luck to everyone and congrats on the match
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| solitarius
Forum Junior
Topics: 7
Posts: 71
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hi all and hi Arlete,
I have always been big fan of yours,
WYWYWY2006,
I am sorry to hear about your situation,and its hard to overcome the emotional barriers,but very often in life you have to make a choice,sometimes for yourself and sometimes for your close ones.As they say,"TIME IS A CURE FOR EVERYTHING".It will be hard initially but eventually you will get use to it and time will pass faster...in those 3 years you might have to make some other decisions as well.....so it never stops and thats the life.But anyway I would like to pray for you to take an appropriate decision for yourself.Wish you good luck and take care.
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