sturge_weber
Forum Guru
Topics: 77
Posts: 1,042
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plzzzzzzzzz help me guys, i got a prematch offer and i at once grabbed it, and then was offered guranteed match from the program of my chice?
here is my question, can i leave a pre-match after i have signed it?
Can the program take any actions about it?
and how do i do it,
Plzzzzz bbb and other gurus of the forum, whosoever knows about it , lemme know
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| robin082006
Forum Hero
Topics: 471
Posts: 5,125
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Ask bbb, she may answer this question.
___________________
The Key to Succeed is Patience.
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,681
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The correct answer is going to be that you signed a prematch in good faith. But if you can back out of this is going to depend on the program that you signed at and what you signed. What ever you do, tell the program that is loosing you before Jan 31 - that's our deadline for changing our quotas.
___________________
bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....off until July 14th exploring the caves of NYC
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| puchpal
Forum Elite
Topics: 43
Posts: 389
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I dont ahve any experience is these matters
but as long as I have stayed in the U.S
i have realised , that its a small world, people
and especially pd's and Pc's some times are really good frineds with each other
and I see it as , lets say here in forum you promise somebody something
and then back up on it( due to some reason)
I will say i am more closer to people here in forum( known them for longer than I know you) so we will discuss it
But still if BBB says, you should do it that way
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| newyg
Forum Senior
Topics: 9
Posts: 191
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Dear BBB,
Jan 31 means also a dealine for programs to offer a prematch?? I mean if I have an interview in Feb 1, do I have a chance of getting offered a prematch there?
Thank you.
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| nadiabarati
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oh there is a deadline for prematch offer?!
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,681
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No, there is a deadline for programs to decide how many spots to put in the match.
And read Puchpal's answer carefully - it's right on the money.
My gut honest answer is that you signed a prematch, you should honour it.
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bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....off until July 14th exploring the caves of NYC
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| sturge_weber
Forum Guru
Topics: 77
Posts: 1,042
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i know i should honour it, i very well realize that, but the problem i will be seperated from my husband for 3 yrs, and now where i am being offered a position is where my husband lives,
is it possible somehow, i am very scared to do it, as i too feel it is very unethical on my part to do it
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| Dane
Forum Senior
Topics: 32
Posts: 124
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'Weren't you aware when you applied to the program and when you interviewed there and when you accepted the prematch that you would be away from your husband?
Of course you did. You had 3 chances, but at the time you were only interested in getting a spot, any spot.
Now that you have a spot, you can be your true egotistical selfish you and shop for a better deal. Screw the program.
I hope that as more and more of you act like this, that PDs and NRMP will wise up and prohibit pre-matches.
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| cupidpluto
Forum Senior
Topics: 6
Posts: 123
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Ms Dane cool down
wht Sturge weber posted is wrong thing, if she is not interested in the pre match she signed, she should inform her decision now politely not prolonging the drama,
At least the program which offered pre match may give the chance to some body r keep tht slot in the match otherwise many loose one seat in scramble where chances of post match is high for green card holders
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| cupidpluto
Forum Senior
Topics: 6
Posts: 123
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Sturge weber
either GO for the pre match or dare for the match
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 12
Posts: 2,516
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Dane wrote:
'Weren't you aware when you applied to the program and when you interviewed there and when you accepted the prematch that you would be away from your husband?
Of course you did. You had 3 chances, but at the time you were only interested in getting a spot, any spot.
Now that you have a spot, you can be your true egotistical selfish you and shop for a better deal. Screw the program.
I hope that as more and more of you act like this, that PDs and NRMP will wise up and prohibit pre-matches.
 , no offense or hard feeling, but as physician you are one of reputable high end ppl , so you should keep your even the word , now even stronger word/promise ie now you have say yes.. with paper signed contract .
But I also feel for you as .. , so you may try to let your signed program prematched 1st one know , what is the reason you will like to choose the 2nd love, where your real love one, hub is there .
Again , we as physician should not get involve or mix up or mess up with our medical judgement with our emotional decision , ususally ends up wrong decision , like it's better let others treat your close loved one/ones than by you , yourself only .
BUT .......... please let prematch stay on , since I love to get prematch .
All the best & GL
Edited by ShweHope99.9998 on 01/13/08 - 02:28 PM
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| sturge_weber
Forum Guru
Topics: 77
Posts: 1,042
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well guys thanks for all ur help, i am sticking with the prematch
i will remain away from my hubby for 3 freakin yrs.
but dane no offences friend, but i am pregnant, and it would be very tough to stick with that place with the child, alone fpr three yrs, thats why was my dilemma.
nehow, i am sticking with my pre-match, not doing any unethical thinga anymore
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| sturge_weber
Forum Guru
Topics: 77
Posts: 1,042
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i am as ethical as u guys all of u
i have been on this forum for 3 yrs, i became silent for a few months though
but dont u guys worry, i will stick with the pre-match....
no offenses anybody, i never mean t to offend, i just wanted to know, as noone can stay away for 3 yrs, i really didint know when i sigmed the pre-match, that my hubby cant even move for 4 yrs, so thats why i had signed thinking he will move, now i guess i will either stay here for 3 yrs, or move if there is a 2nd yr. position...
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| newyg
Forum Senior
Topics: 9
Posts: 191
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PDs are not angels.. when it comes to PREMATCH they are like tigers attacking IMG deers, commenting poorly about the other programs that you IV With, and they try to make you feel bad about yourself so that u'll go ahead and accept their prematch!! There are so many unethical things going on on the PDs side when they ask for prematch!!
So, Sturge_Weber... First of all, you should have been stronger than this when you accepted that prematch, you should have thought harder! But you did accept prematch, maybe you were put under so much pressure and you are already emotionally prone carrying a baby. SO my advice to you, for the sake of your kid and yourself, screw that prematch and go for the match! Dont let the kid rise up without his/her daddy near him!
Although I wish you had thought about this before, it is very unthoughtful of you!!! I'm actually pissed to hear this story... but I can imagine that PD probably put to much pressure on you also, this PD if he knows about your pregnancy and your husband's situation then pleaseeee let me know who he is... I think he or she does NOT deserve where he is, he is the worst psychiatrist ever to let this happen!
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| babydoc4usmle
Forum Guru
Topics: 18
Posts: 634
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sturge_weber....please, speak with PD who offered you pre-match, it's not too late for them to take another person,
i would not recommend just drop out of contract, but I would definitely try to speak with that person and see what he/she has to say.
it is natural that you accepted prematch, our insecurities and doubts about outcome of match do cloud our judgement.....
in any event, if you desided to stick with it, you atill have nothing to loose to have that conversation....
good luck, and let us know how it goes
and congratulations baby is a precious gift
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| cupidpluto
Forum Senior
Topics: 6
Posts: 123
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Ms Sturge weber
U r showing dependent personality traits
U r going to b a Psychiatrist...............B strong and take wise decision by urself
whatever decision take it soon
ur flaw shldnot reflect on others and u know the competetion is very high
Many gladiators r here in this Residency arena
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| sturge_weber
Forum Guru
Topics: 77
Posts: 1,042
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thanks guys for ur support and criticism,
but i have decided to stick with the pre-match, as it is much safer than the match, and of course ethical too
so all the best everyone
and hang in there...
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| babydoc4usmle
Forum Guru
Topics: 18
Posts: 634
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there is nothing unethical if you just have a conversation with PD....
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| Lex
Forum Junior
Topics: 18
Posts: 60
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Sturge_weber
Do what you feel is right....so if you don't want to take prematch speak to pd and explain your situation...that you did not intend to mislead.
I don't think you are being unethical....and who r we to judge others without understanding the whole situation. So I am saying this with little information I know about what ur going through...so don't take it the wrong way.....BUT why can't your husband move to where you are?? (he should be more supportive considering you got this oppurtunity in your career plus your pregnant)
In which ever way you make your decision....good luck to you and congrats on pregnancy.
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