egomez2001
Forum Guru
Topics: 51
Posts: 930
|
Hi all,
I want to ask for your opinion in rewards of how doable is to have a serious relation during residency?, I know it´s hard, very variable, with a lot of factors to have in mind, like compatibility, duration of the relation, living is same city or different cities and that all cases are very different but still I think there is some basic or general stuff...
I have some friends that got divorce because residency was so demanding and they didn´t have time for the other person and on the other hand there are some that say is tough but doable...
Pros/Cons?
|
| decide
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 145
|
Many people are married or are in a serious relationship during marriage. If ur significant other is a non medico it mite be hard for him/her to understand dt u r really so busy... I dont see residency as a reason not to get into a serious relationship. And can u really time getting into a relationship or being serious in a relationship?
|
| arlete
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 50
Posts: 3,581
|
I didn't date for the first 18 months of my residency (my first one). When I had time, I was either studying or sleeping.
But I know two marriages that survived seven years of residency (the husband's). In one of them, the wife had serious problems with depression, because she was alone most of the time. In the other, the wife was OK.
I know a married couple that went to different residency programs, in different cities, managed to have two babies during it (grandparents took care of them) and today are happy, with a much better life, raising the kids together.
So I think it depends on so many variables, like everybody knows, that there's not a formula for it. But it really takes a toll on any relationship, that's for sure!
___________________
Now it's on God's hands. I've done my best!
|
| GLO MD
Forum Guru
Topics: 9
Posts: 817
|
I wish I had an answer for this one dear friend!! I guess a lot of us are on the same boat!! I think it depends on the particular case because I am a firm believer that if both people involved are commited to their relationship they can overcome anything even distance, time or extenuation. Anything is possible if BOTH are commited... and that my friend is the issue.
___________________
Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground....Theodore Roosevelt
|
| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 33
Posts: 5,225
|
egomez2001 wrote:
I have some friends that got divorce because residency was so demanding and they didn´t have time for the other person and on the other hand there are some that say is tough but doable...
I know of more marriages during residency than divorces. It's possible, not easy, but very possible.....
___________________
bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
|
| cadp
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 37
|
I believe it's called maturity the thing that helps you most survive a residency as a couple. If you don't have it, if loose the goal from sight, then the residency's little misery will take over you. For most young physicians I know, the residency is their first and most difficult challenge. In other times and other places, couples survived challenges, so it is possible to keep the team together. Of course, if the premises on which the couple function are incompatible with the circumstances, then it will not work.
I know people in their early 40s who do their US residency far apart. She has the 6 year old child with her, and there were times when she had to take the child out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the hospital. How harder than that can be? But their focus is to practice in this country, each of them in his and her chosen specialty, and so this is what keeps the boat floating.
|
| egomez2001
Forum Guru
Topics: 51
Posts: 930
|
Thanks a lot to all of you for your kind answers It really helped... All of you posted very interesting points... Let´s see what happens... I think Glo´s point it´s a very important one, BOTH have to be commited in order for things to work..., let´s see what happens..., remain positive, believe and have faith.... Good luck to all of you
Edited by egomez2001 on 01/08/08 - 08:59 AM
|
|
| |
| | | | | | | |
