GOGETA
I'm Dr. GOGETA
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What will be the next step in management?
Lets say that you go to your house and finds your wife (that is like a saint for you, you trust with everything you have, love her with everything and for the entire world she is also liek a saint.) naked in the bed with a guy next to her naked with a condom on.
Now lets forget the part about the guy there and what happen at that exact moment.
Lets say that she says and swers that she have not been unfaithful, with all the evedince agaisnt her, she still denies everything.
And says that everything is ok in the marriage, and that there is no reason for her to cheat on you.
What is the next best step in management? or what do you do next?
Then as a second question if she says this
she says that she will give you permission to sleep with other women.
No is not me and thanks God Im not married?
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| P4a99
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That will sure be her last moment in my house. What would happen to him? Well, thats another story!!
Dude, hopefully youll find someone good for you soon. (to marry)
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| new_n_lost
Politically InCorrect
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For the first step ask her if she likes to have a threesome of some sort  then simply get my prenup and leave her entirely penniless.
For the 2nd step simply respond " Well honey thats wht i intend to do as soon as i get ur butt kicked into Deep Space by my lawyers"
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| DrVirgo
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Thats a weird question GOGETA, why are you asking it? 
Well, I'll have to assume I'm a guy for this one...
It really depends on the person's values.
I personally would want a monogamous relationship, and would consider my partner in bed with someone who has a condom as "INTENT" to cheat. If I hadn't walked in, they would have gone through with it, right? And besides, lets say she IS telling the truth they she didn't cheat (implying they didn't have sex) I would STILL consider it cheating -as "emotional cheating" -why would she say there is nothing wrong in the marriage and be in bed with another guy? -doesn't make sense...
-Answer to your first question: well, cheating is a deal breaker for me, so I would dump her ass in a second.
-Answer to the second question: I wouldn't want to be married to one person and be "allowed" to sleep with someone else -I don't think that makes things equal. I believe in having a monogamous marriage. If I wanted to have that type of arrangement I wouldn't be married in the first place.
Now leaving my morals/values aside, there IS such a thing called an "open relationship" where both partners in the marriage are allowed to see and sleep with other people... They have come to this mutual decision, and BOTH of them are OK with it... According to them, its not natural to limit yourself to one partner and man by nature is not a monogamous being... so better to be honest about it, and have multiple partners with your partners consent rather than going behind his/her back and cheating. This kind of relationship actually works for some people.
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| GOGETA
I'm Dr. GOGETA
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DrVirgo wrote:
Well, I'll have to assume I'm a guy for this one...
It really depends on the person's values.
I personally would want a monogamous relationship, and would consider my partner in bed with someone who has a condom as "INTENT" to cheat. If I hadn't walked in, they would have gone through with it, right? And besides, lets say she IS telling the truth they she didn't cheat (implying they didn't have sex) I would STILL consider it cheating -as "emotional cheating" -why would she say there is nothing wrong in the marriage and be in bed with another guy? -doesn't make sense...
-Answer to your first question: well, cheating is a deal breaker for me, so I would dump her ass in a second.
-Answer to the second question: I wouldn't want to be married to one person and be "allowed" to sleep with someone else -I don't think that makes things equal. I believe in having a monogamous marriage. If I wanted to have that type of arrangement I wouldn't be married in the first place.
Now leaving my morals/values aside, there IS such a thing called an "open relationship" where both partners in the marriage are allowed to see and sleep with other people... They have come to this mutual decision, and BOTH of them are OK with it... According to them, its not natural to limit yourself to one partner and man by nature is not a monogamous being... so better to be honest about it, and have multiple partners with your partners consent rather than going behind his/her back and cheating. This kind of relationship actually works for some people.
1- now how can you say intent? If is on means that something was going on.(I will not explain more hope you get the idea)
2- Emotional cheating for what I found googlin is very very bad, the person disconnects with you, and have this new partner in crime with
them, they tell evrything share future toughts, are way open to them, basiclly the person makes the function of the husband, and the husband only knows when everything is done or when is very near, like but yea I'm going to vacation tommorow for 2 weeks, and then you find out it was plan ahead for 6 monts and who knows about it, yeap the other guy.
3- Why I'm asking a friend  , is going true this. the people that knows me knows I'm not married nor live with a lday. I just felt so bad for the guy and toguth to see what ideas you come up with.
4- open relationship sucks, I'm old fashion one on one and thats it.
Don't you think that maybe she offered that because either she feels so guilty about it or because was the perfect time to tell the guy she wants an open reationship?
5- A women that sends his man to another women does not love him, might have feelings for him but does not love him.
I personally told the guy that the case was FUBAR
Anyhow I will like to see your ideas and comments, then we can go over nnl and p4a99 theories
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| DrVirgo
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GOGETA,
1. How can I say intent, well by intent I meant that since the guy had the condom on, with the woman next to him they were intending on having sexual relations of some sort... Two eople don't sit around in bed naked with protection on just to chat about the weather. I hope you understand what I'm saying.
2. What you researched on "emotional cheating" is pretty accurate... I believe there are 3 types of cheating: Purely emotional, purely physical, and a Combination of the two. It's up to the couple to define which is OK or not ok according to them and which they can forgive or not forgive depending on their morals or ideas on how a marriage should work.
-Good luck to your friend... If he is not happy in his relationship, he should communicate that to his wife. They should be having the same ideas about what is expected of eachother in the marriage.. If they still can't come to some mutual agreement and want to salvage the marriage, I suggest they go seek couples counseling. And if that still doesn't work, maybe it would be best to split up, and find a more suitable partner. I hope everything works out for the best.
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| P4a99
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Who would want a cheater to raise his kids?
What makes you so confident that she wont do it again?
How are you going to trust her next time you leave the house?
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| Doc750
transfer:step 3 prison
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| new_n_lost
Politically InCorrect
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Hey i have an idea if u want her to be around in ur life then tell her the marriage is off and u both r free to do whtever u want and U wud rather have her company in fulfilling ur weirdest fantasies. U can have a normal relationship with someelse and Get ur Freeak On with ur ex who u know like to have some freaky fun. Open up to possibilities and Get it on !!!
Its a joke but if u want it, it might be a reality.
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FORUM RULES-- Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck --P4U World.." The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
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| ShweHope99.9998
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GGT , thank god it's not u
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| GOGETA
I'm Dr. GOGETA
Topics: 299
Posts: 2,626
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The guy is planning to go to thearpy and couseling with her 
Im telling you LOVE is blind
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As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.
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| new_n_lost
Politically InCorrect
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GOGETA wrote:The guy is planning to go to thearpy and couseling with her Im telling you LOVE is blind
hey maybe the guy has a bisexual urge amybe he is testing it out but if he is going to the Shrink just cos the marriage is falling apart then i have to say that there is a huge possibility ur friend has cheated earlier and seems to think that his wife's cheating is a karma thingy and therefore he thinks the score is balanced and now both of them can move on..........
My 2 cents.
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FORUM RULES-- Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck --P4U World.." The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
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| P4a99
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Background, faith, and what someone stands for has a big role in what the reaction would be. Some people would find cheating outrageous and others would find it exceptable if they do it also, so gogeta every one here has different ethics, morals, red-lines, beliefs, and degrees of tolerance and this couses the diversity in our answers.
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