studyforstep3
Forum Junior
Topics: 13
Posts: 29
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I am a first year Intern IMG from europe, started my internship in July 2007. My medical knowledge is not bad, but I was frequently discouraged by my attending and a third year resident. I tried my best, but they kept on yelling on me and being picky about my progress notes. My attending tried to speak to me alone, emphasizing how "unsatisfied" he is about my performance, and asked me frequently to come to his office. Since I knew that it is not about my progress notes but it is about his sexual interest in me(Female, Intern,europian, new to the country and does not know her rights, plus afraid to raise any issue, to prevent being kicked out from the program), I never went to his office. He became mad on me, and everyday expressed it more and more and gave me bad evaluation. What to do?
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| sarika
Forum Guru
Topics: 195
Posts: 1,200
| | 08/25/07 - 12:32 PM
2 of 2 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #2 |
well very sorry to hear the story i hope things get better for you.
As i see it as a neutral observer, i see a few mistakes on your part.
1.You had not one but two people against you. One can argue that one person might had bad intentions but how come two people be doing the same thing?
2.You should have gone to the office with a cell phone that has a camera and no need to hide it.
3.No attending can screw his career if he knows he can be caught. Conversations recorded on cell phones are so common these days no one in their right minds can take such a risk. And if caught you know what that means. Not only his career is ruined but the hospital's reputation will be tainted forever too.
As of now, you have no proof. All they are going to say is you had misconceptions about his intentions without any concrete proof.
Please dont get offended i am not saying i dont believe you. I am just pointing out that you dont have a case.
I will hope and pray things get better for you. Talk to other attendings find out what their reviews are for you. If they are happy with you then it will be harder for the program to kick you just because one attending doesnt like you.
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,655
| | 08/25/07 - 12:41 PM
2 of 2 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #3 |
studyforstep3 wrote:
I am a first year Intern IMG from europe, started my internship in July 2007. My medical knowledge is not bad, but I was frequently discouraged by my attending and a third year resident. I tried my best, but they kept on yelling on me and being picky about my progress notes. My attending tried to speak to me alone, emphasizing how "unsatisfied" he is about my performance, and asked me frequently to come to his office. Since I knew that it is not about my progress notes but it is about his sexual interest in me(Female, Intern,europian, new to the country and does not know her rights, plus afraid to raise any issue, to prevent being kicked out from the program), I never went to his office. He became mad on me, and everyday expressed it more and more and gave me bad evaluation. What to do?
What in the attendings behavior made you believe that it was about his sexual interest? Also, did you think to ask your chief resident to go to the office with you? Is there a female senior in your program that you can confide in? Also, human resources in your hospital. If you think that it is about harassment, then you should talk with your program director - you might not be the only resident in the program that this is happening with.
Talk with your PD and your CMRs to find out how to improve your progress notes. Maybe another senior resident, etc. Talk with your PD about the evaluation, the rotation, and why you didn't go to an office when directed to. Let the PD know your fears, etc. If you are called to an office and you feel uncomfortable - keep the door open.
Good luck.
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bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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| studyforstep3
Forum Junior
Topics: 13
Posts: 29
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I am in my second month and on other floor where the attending is fair. He wrote me a good letter of recommendation. I will use it to get out of here. I do not like this place. Everytime I see that evel attending, I do not want to live and start to cry because I did not know that there are such evel people in this world. I told him many times that I am married and love my husband and daughter, and that I am away from my family just because I did not match into a program in my area, but there was no empathy to my situation at all. The person seems to be very confident that I will not compromise his position(I am not a trouble maker, and it is very obvious). The 3rd year resident is on his side.
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| studyforstep3
Forum Junior
Topics: 13
Posts: 29
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To bbb
A female can tell if a male is interested in her. It is the way he looks at you, his body language. Attepmts to be alone with you and pronounce words with double meaning, trying not to have any wittness. He also emphasized to me many times and discouraged to report anything to the chief resident, since "it's not good to complain in your first month" and "we call solve everything bettween us without the chief resident" Do not forget, 3rd year resident is his best friend and a big support!
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| the_holy_man
Forum Senior
Topics: 6
Posts: 287
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You need to tell someone about how you feel about this. Like bbb said, talk to the pd, It does not have to be a formal complaint, just let him know how you feel about this whole issue. The pd will understand and you will feel a lot more secure once you know somebody is there who understands you. This thing is affecting you psychologically and can afeect your performance even more and cause undue stress. The attending's intentions already seem suspicious considering the things he has said to you.
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,655
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studyforstep3 wrote:
To bbb
A female can tell if a male is interested in her. It is the way he looks at you, his body language. Attepmts to be alone with you and pronounce words with double meaning, trying not to have any wittness. He also emphasized to me many times and discouraged to report anything to the chief resident, since "it's not good to complain in your first month" and "we call solve everything bettween us without the chief resident" Do not forget, 3rd year resident is his best friend and a big support!
Again, talk with your PD - you might not be the only resident affected. If you don't want a formal complaint, let your PD know that you will expect his full support in changing programs. The 3rd year might be on his side, but again, aren't there other female seniors to talk with?
Good luck and don't put up with the bullshit - no one deserves this.
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bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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| studyforstep3
Forum Junior
Topics: 13
Posts: 29
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There are many females in the program, but I still do not know them well and do not feel comfortable to tell them such private things, because the program is small and news spread fast. From my experience, it can turn on on you if the female you trusted was not to be trusted and did pass it on "differently", so it will become a big rumor in the program and a "hot news", and you will be the one who harrasted the poor attending. Believe me, I know what I am talking about.
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| egomez2001
Forum Guru
Topics: 51
Posts: 930
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Dear studyfors3,
I´m very sorry about your situation..., can imagine the difficulty of 1st months of residency plus this situation....
I agree with BBB and Holyman, talk to the PD ASAP...
I understand your situation about not sharing this private issue and think your right...
Again talk to the PD about this, he should be supportive and should have to capacity to tell you how to proceed and handle situation..., as bbb said maybe your are not the only one or this is not the 1st time this happens...
Wish you everything turns out ok..., will be praying for you
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| studyforstep3
Forum Junior
Topics: 13
Posts: 29
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He is not my attending anymore and I see him only at noon confirences, he loves to pick the free food and enjoys looking at the other new young F interns, he watches and studies everybody carefully.
I could not report such a thing to my PD in the first month because you do not know the PD well too. Plus it is not a very good sign to make troubles in your first month. My attending knew that well and took advantage of that, he is very sofisticated person.
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| dev
Forum Guru
Topics: 70
Posts: 1,794
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i agree with bbb
you are the one in the situation, so you should no better. but just because the attending has asked you to come to his office wouldnt mean sexual harrasment.
if you are convinced it is, i think you should talk to the PD. let them know of the bad situation. Sexual harrasment is a big deal. report to human resources.
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| GLO MD
Forum Guru
Topics: 9
Posts: 815
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Dear Friend: I am very sorry to hear of such terrible situation. I have experienced such a thing and know how you must be filling. I know you don't want to tell your PD but since we are all outside of this problem we can see differently and as you can see we all think you should tell him/her right away. Don't go telling anyone else but the PD. It doesn't matter if its the first month or the last, this kind of behavior is untolerable and you should not have to go through this. One thing is to don't want to be a trouble maker and other is to let others step on you, your dignity and your rights. You are new to this program but that DOES NOT mean you should have to put with this!!!! Don't talk to this guy, I know his type, he will not understand. Go talk to your PD because this type of person can make you end up like the bad one without a problem and regret and if you keep on mantaining this vicious cycle you will end up burried in .,..... and you will not be able to get out and whenever this attendig want can go tell the PD that you were the one doing it or that you are a terrible resident and if you wait until then to tell your PD he might not believe you then because you waited for long.... be smart and talk ASAP!!! (to the right person offcourse)!!! Hope everything solves out for you....
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| rockingdoctor
Forum Elite
Topics: 23
Posts: 291
| | 08/26/07 - 08:21 AM
0 of 9 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #13 |
by ur posts I'm not convinced about ur claims, this is America, ok, here people are very open in their talks and are open minded, I've seen quite sexually charged remarks being made at each other in medical profession, and no body takes them to heart, u shud better concentrate on ur profession, and be thankful to this country for letting u become its citizen and work here, if u feel this is so bad, why don't u try going back to ur home country ?
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| kykie
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
Posts: 219
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Wow u are harsh!So because this is America,it means female interns should be made to feel un comfortable?I think i remember u posting similar harsh comments WRT y americans love emergency medicine.
I feel what she needs is good advice and if u cant say anythin helpful, then its best not to say anythin at all.
From what u have said , i guess u believe she should tolerate whatever is thrown at her and be grateful for the opportunity to be in the US,I wonder what u would say if you were in her shoes
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Believe in yourself
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| azygous
Forum Senior
Topics: 15
Posts: 209
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@ rocking doctor...
What are you smoking. no body in this country makes any sexually charged remarks on people who work for them i.e i mean by authority wise.
you can make a sexually charged remarks with your friends ( even this may land you in problem). Attending making sexual remakrs to intern against the law.
I dont know which place you are working ( taco bell/ macD). there is no way you can justify this kind of behaviour even if you not a citizen. Stop this kind of mentality, ""u shud better concentrate on ur profession, and be thankful to this country for letting u become its citizen and work here, if u feel this is so bad, why don't u try going back to ur home country ?"". Even the NIH director is a immgrant if you dont know.
I had been in this country for 6 yrs and never seen such kind of behaviour at academic places and never from a person who is incharge. At OP, you dont need to talk to anyone...go talk to PD and later HR. They will investigate and keep your name seceret. If they ( PD or HR) leaks your name, they will lose thier jobs.
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Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes...... Mahatma Gandhi
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| catmd04
Forum Elite
Topics: 25
Posts: 384
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Dear Rockingdoctor,
This forum is very friendly. Please behave as such, especially we are all professionals. If I'm not mistaking, you are a very "well known" member of another forum who was banned to post. Moderators please take action. I apologize if I'm mistaking or this is just a rumor.
Have a wonderful week ahead.
To studyforstep 3. You are not alone. Sexual harassment is against the law in this country. No one can tolerate. Talk to your PD. Those ashamed guys must leave, NOT YOU. Good luck to you.
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| sarika
Forum Guru
Topics: 195
Posts: 1,200
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CAtmd you are right. This person was the most abusive member of that other forum. I am not mentioning his real name here but i'm sure many of you already know him.The things he has said about others were the meanest i have ever read. Even on this forum, you can track his comments almost everywhere he has spread his negativism and cruel remarks. I would like this forum moderators to keep a check on him. There are many forums out there about usmle, residency and matching. The reason we come here is because it is friendly and polite. Lets keep it that way.
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| doc1355
Forum Senior
Topics: 28
Posts: 91
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rockingdoctor wrote:
by ur posts I'm not convinced about ur claims, this is America, ok, here people are very open in their talks and are open minded, I've seen quite sexually charged remarks being made at each other in medical profession, and no body takes them to heart, u shud better concentrate on ur profession, and be thankful to this country for letting u become its citizen and work here, if u feel this is so bad, why don't u try going back to ur home country ?
I hope to see you or one of your loved-ones in her situation and then lets see what you have to say about US and open minds...
Don't be so proud of being a US citizen. US is another country like other 193 countries, but with different opportunities. Remember that "The world does not stay the same".
studyforstep3: Please ignore his stupid response and continue your hard work. You have done great job in getting this position, so don't let anyone or anything stop you or discourage you. As you know getting into a residency is not an easy step. I totally agree with others that you need to speak up with PD. I think the PD will take care of you. That is OK if you still don't know him/her. PD is there to help you and others like you. If you don't speak about this, and if this gets worse, then you will be the one who will lose. Good luck and God bless you. 
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Match is not about how hard you can work or what is your score. It is all about $$$ and Connections. Instead of doing research find somebody who knows somebody. You will be matched.
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,655
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studyforstep3 wrote:
He is not my attending anymore and I see him only at noon confirences, he loves to pick the free food and enjoys looking at the other new young F interns, he watches and studies everybody carefully.
I could not report such a thing to my PD in the first month because you do not know the PD well too. Plus it is not a very good sign to make troubles in your first month. My attending knew that well and took advantage of that, he is very sofisticated person.
If you don't report it, it didn't happen. Your PD needs to know.
___________________
bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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| win
Forum Senior
Topics: 17
Posts: 104
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Dear Study for step 3,
I understand you are going through a tough situation now. Be brave and face it. You can do it. Some third person should not make us feel weak. You are your best judge.Do things which ll make you comfortable and happy. When there are so many people whom you dont even know to support you in thsi forum , Iam sure ull find someone in your program sensible enuf to understand the whole thing.
And yes to rocking doctor, other than the red indians all others have migrated to US at some point. Watch your words!
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| azygous
Forum Senior
Topics: 15
Posts: 209
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@win...they are not red indians...we call them native americans..
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Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes...... Mahatma Gandhi
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| minang
Forum Senior
Topics: 3
Posts: 228
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There was a lawsuit filled by a resident, who was dismissed from her residency program, against the University. Her contract was terminated because of her poor performance. She then charged the University with discrimination as well as sexual harassment. But the judge dismissed her motion, since she never made the University aware of her allegations of sexual harassment.
THE KEY POINT is make the program (PD) or the University aware about what you are facing right now. It will help you down the road.
Detail of the court decision can be found here: http://www.nebar.com/pdfs/DCOpinPDFs/8-98cv343.pd...
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| rockingdoctor
Forum Elite
Topics: 23
Posts: 291
| | 08/26/07 - 02:54 PM
0 of 3 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #23 |
why is everybody getting mad at me, I have seen incompetent female (and male) docs make up stories to cover up their mistakes, and females in particular cook up stories of sexual assault or some other spicy stuff so that all attention is diverted from the main issue. All of u r behaving as if u know this member personally, do u know who she is, is she real at all, if this is really true then ask her to reveal the name of the prog at least, if not her own name, there are always 2 sides of a coin, better get to the depth of the issue rather than jumping madly here on the forum and going for my jugular
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Impossible is nothing !
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| CocaCola
Forum Guru
Topics: 35
Posts: 908
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Hey rockingdoc
Not everyone is taking studyforstep3's word as gold... what people are saying is: if this is happening to you - let the right people know... if this atteding is indeed harassing you don't sit back and let him destroy your career...
What you basically said is: I don't think this is sexual harassment... people talk this way in america... be glad you are able to practice here...
What you said isn't true and wasn't cool...
Sexual harassment in any form is not tolerated in america!
Thats why people are coming down on you...
___________________
There is one thing we can do, and the happiest people are those who can do it to the limit of their ability. We can be completely present. We can be all here. We can give all our attention to the opportunity before us!!!
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,655
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minang wrote:
THE KEY POINT is make the program (PD) or the University aware about what you are facing right now. It will help you down the road.
Exactly.
___________________
bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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