Feyza
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I started with histo ...Kaplan is enough for that but I had noo idea about histology basics so I googled it a lot  I love the wikipedia links ...I know good docs here must be rolling eyes to this but I had no other chance ...I had to accept my insufficiency humbly and start from ABC and the most time saving and fun way for this was wikipedia... histo took 2 days !!!! 2 long invaluable days !!
REMEMBER WHAT I USED TO BE ABLE TO READ IN 2 DAYS LAST YEAR ??? NOTHING !!!! MAYBE 3 PAGES ...SEE...ITS IN YOUR BRAIN !!! USE YOUR BRAINS...DO NOT LET THEM USE AND COMMAND YOU !! SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING ALIVE IN MY HEAD ...I MEAN LIKE MY BRAIN IS SOME OTHER PERSON FROM ME ...AND ITS VERY ELASTIC AND CONDITIONABLE... IF EVER YOU ARE DETERMINED TO DO SOMETHING ...ITS LIKE AN OBEDIENT LITTLE KITTY ! IF YOU LACK THE CONSISTENCY...PATIENCE...THE WILL AND SELF BELIEF...HERE IT GOES...TAKES COMMAND OF YOU AND NEVER LETS YOU BREAK THE CHAINS... SO DO NOT LET THE OTHER YOU IN YOUR SKULL BE YOUR DEVIL !!!
( im no schitzophrenic no worries  )
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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gross was a hard stone for me  I felt I absolutely needed a supplementary book to fill in the blanks in Kaplan but the biggies were impossible when there was only less then a month ...
YOU KNOW WHAT ...THESE 2.5 MONTHS...I DID FEEL...WELL NOT FEEL...I KNEW GOD WAS WATCHING ME AND HELPING ME ! again...im no schitzophrenic no worries
why Im saying this here is...my husband lost a book of his and he urgently needed it and called me to have a look at his bookshelves...there I found made ridiculously simple anatomy book...I didnt even know we had this book at home...my husbands book was not there I just grabbed it and went back to my table ...
MRS anatomy helped my way out in that mess and struggle of my anatomy...its a simple book but it gives you a very good big picture and you can easily go over Kaplan then...
so for 1 other day which meant 15 hrs of studying to me those times I left Kaplan anatomy...and took MRS...made charts of all arteries ... veins... muscles... lymphatics... nerves and plexuses... and went over the whole book very very quickly like an orientation and took notes... then Kaplan suddenly started to look very pretty to me still I spent more time then I was planning altho I was at the library for 12 hrs...
( these were the days my poor husband started to make sounds like chickens bc he had to eat eggs for 4-5 days in a week )
Kaplan anatomy is again fine if these little gaps are filled ...I had to read all for 4-5 times...(the way I study is ...read that page...orient...read again...memorise...close eyes...repeat...ok?? good...next page...cant repeat ?? read once and once more till you can repeat when you close your eyes ! )
when was I gonna see netanatomy and the MCQs ?????? 
so I did gross too but all my time was over so had no time to revise the neuro part ....THE MOST HY ONE...I said to myself ...just leave it and then you will read it later...
YOU WANNA KNOW WHEN THAT WAS ???? the night before the exam !!!! in my hotel room !!! surely from FA...no kaplan ... and all in NEURO FA DID APPEAR IN THE EXAM !
so probably if I revised Kaplan that would take 2 more days and maybe would not stick with that stress...but I must admit ...the way I did neuroanatomy last year was really good ..in 3 months...line by line...
I strongly believe...if you study hard ...no matter when ...how... it somehow comes in front of you... God is soo fair and He never lets your effort down...so the neuroanatomy study of mine paid off and only 2 hrs of FA review in the hotel room when there is only 10 hrs left to the exam made me pass
I really strongly believe that my passing is a miracle now as I remember all these and I swear to God ...there is not a single word of exagerration here !!!!!!
the bottomline point here is : read what feyza did but never do what she did
see docs... ME DID PASSS !!!! so I wonder... all you ppl who did every kaplan book...then the second read ...then the Qbank and UW...WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU STILL HESITATING ??????????
I know...thats the rule you never can learn a thing unless you live it yourself
Edited by Feyza on 07/31/07 - 03:51 PM
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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Topics: 49
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I once told a friend in library... there are only a couple of weeks to my exam and I today ..now ...at this very moment learnt the components of APGAR scoring...how can that be fair for me to pass when ppl out are cramming things like crazy for months
she said : I dont know... I dont know what you know and what you dont...but I know something...that weird look in your eyes...sort of both tired and worn out but still shiny...is shouting me out loud that you will pass
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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this is a collective success ( if it is one I still dont know my score tho ) ...my sweetest husband always eating out or eggs ...mum and dad of both of us giving Kerem the necessary emotional attention...and tens of friends constantly calling and e-mailing and dropping by to say they are praying for me...and of couse you my forum buddies
I hate and strongly object to all kinds of jokes told about Allah/ God ...but I cant help saying this... a friend of mine said ...Feyza God will say : ok ok...enough... just stop praying for him...I will make her pass
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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MAY 31 ...KEREM IS BACK
couldnt study for 2 days and bad times for me are coming
UW only 10% done...scores of the chapters I could review are very good but no time to review all !! should I extend ??? I dont want that ! I have to make a decision...
I decided to leave pharm to the very last 3 days bc I forget it very quickly ... I didnt know then that I was gonna be cluttered like crazy and would never revise pharm
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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I CAN HEAR YOU YELLING : DID WE WANT THIS GIRLS JOURNAL TO BE STICKY ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
and you are right
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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19 days left... everything except pharm is read very well thats all...only 24% of Qbank and 10% of UW is done...
so I have to do my last read and Qs and as ppl say NBME
I look horrible ...have purple orbits,I vomit at times...now I say : why did I ever do this to myself ?? is anyone over there like this or am I no good in controlling my stress...idk...but I have no intention to do this in step 2 ...you know what ...the fear of the exam is damn worse than the exam itself !!!!!!!!!!!!
also I have no intention to aim for 80+...this time the destination will be a 90+ inshAllah 
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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last read in 19 days meant a total mess for me !! I completely lost control and was reading like crazy with no help and sticking or reinforcening info
THAT WHY I KEEP TELLING DO FA DO FA DO FA DO FA !!!! MAKE IT YOUR LAST READ BOOK WITH COLORS AND ADDITIONAL NOTES ... I BELIEVE ONLY 5 MAYBE MAXIMUM 10 % OF THE usmle STUDIERS FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT BEING READY WHEN 20 DAYS LEFT ... (that may be possible in step 2 but not in step 1) SO NOT TO LOSE CONTROL LIKE ME ..TURN YOUR FA INTO A COMPLETE LAST REVIEW MATERIAL
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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MY POST THAT DAY :
completely stuck ! feel horrible ! just on the table without doing nothing ! could study like maybe 2 hrs today out of fear ! piles of papers to be revised along with 75% of UW and 10 days left ! its insane and mathematically impossible even if I do 24 hrs a day like a robot !
no way to extend and what I need from you guys is not support and encouragement bc youre doing it since I begun this forum and I pinned them all to my desktop and read them everyday (thanx to you all ) ...
what I need now is ..tell me : do THIS to pass !
I learned everything by heart once and FA + UW + Goljan audio was what I aimed for the last 25 days but I somehow couldnt catch up with the schedule bc I always had to open Kaplan back to feel ok with FA
what I need now is ..tell me : do THIS to pass !
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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BABYFACE sends a PM :
leave everything apart and do FA...I felt like you and finally decided and did so and scored 97 ...
 97 !!!
I couldnt do what babyface told me bc I always found myself back reading Kaplan
again and finding myself im more mess 
you do it... Im begging you
( I wrote at the end of my reply PM to babyface a couple of hugs thinking he was a she ...umm...a red cheek shy smiley here plzzzzzz but tell me...doesnt the nickname sound like a she )
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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the following days were horrible...my making-me-proud 12 hr a day studying just fell to 3-4 hrs bc of stupid stressing out !!!!
Im sure even now...this very moment there are friends in absolutely every country in the world feeling like this...WELL STOP IT PLZZ STOP IT !!
its no use !
just keep on !!
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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10 DAYS TO MY EXAM...I POST THIS :
completely stuck ! feel horrible ! just on the table without doing nothing ! could study like maybe 2 hrs today out of fear ! piles of papers to be revised along with 75% of UW and 10 days left ! its insane and mathematically impossible even if I do 24 hrs a day like a robot !
no way to extend and what I need from you guys is not support and encouragement bc youre doing it since I begun this forum and I pinned them all to my desktop and read them everyday (thanx to you all ) ...
what I need now is ..tell me : do THIS to pass !
I learned everything by heart once and FA + UW + Goljan audio was what I aimed for the last 25 days but I somehow couldnt catch up with the schedule bc I always had to open Kaplan back to feel ok with FA
what I need now is ..tell me : do THIS to pass !
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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THAT DAY ...my library closes at 9:00 PM...at around 8:45 when I started to pack up and check if anything new in the forum before I leave ...someone from here sent me an IM ... Im calling her my angel
Faraym strongly and insistently kept telling me to start Goljan audios ... every line I say I ONLY HAVE 10 DAYS !! she kept tellin me to do it !
I didnt know her by then ...I just had to sign off bc the library man was yelling " oookkk doc ...ru gonna sleep here tnite or what !! "
came home...desperately...aching...10 days ...decided to give a try !
me idiot !! I wish I did them all ! I could do only 19 of them and that made me pass !
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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I feel I found a treasure but the chest is half open and I have no time to reach the treasure in it
and do not want to extend it bc every day I come home ... the cutest thing in the world opens the door...jumps on me ...drowns me to hugs and kisses and ticks one more day in his own-hand-made calender ! ! ! YAY MOM ! YAY ! ONE MORE DAY IS GONE !
and at the end of the calender ..he drew a boy and a mum and sunny seaside showing the summer I promised to him
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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so Im worn out ... great pressure on me from every single soul I know in the universe... dont wanna extend but I know I cant score high if I take the exam this way...
7 days to the exam...meaning I gotta decide if Im gonna extend or not without paying a fee... off goes my body into sobs in the middle of the night on my table ... its like bursting out of all that pressure cumulating in me ... this time I just let it go and cry and beg God for a guidance !
you know ...everything passes and then you think wiser and now I find this stupid...
a friend of mine lost her closest friend out of breast cancer ...she was 38 and left 4 kids back and she told me all her last minutes with her kids...
hundred thousands of ppl died in my country in a big big earthquake a couple of yrs ago and ppl lost everything in 37 seconds that day !!
there are ppl starving in africa !
many more...
these are things to cry ... this exam ...its should be nothing to make us worn out !! we should do our best with no stress !!!
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| keepgoing
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oh wow didnt notice,this thread has become sticky,and i was wondering feyza's thread is so fast everytime i post i see her posting so always on the top but now got to know it is sticky post..silly me well congrats....!!
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| Feyza
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bro e-mails me... says : sister , the very second you become a loser is the one you lose faith ...come on...if you extend your period..I know you and you know yourself better than me...that you will not study well ...come on ... do go and pass...nobody wants a 99 from you for FM !
so I decide I m giving the exam...with no NBME...25% of MCQs,half of FA,19 audios ...a very well once read Kaplan lectures except pharm and DVDs listened 2 yrs ago... sounds crazy uh ?? yeaa..it is crazy !!
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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so last week I desperately read FA and listen to Goljan...
Im soo tired even to cry and stress out
so off me go for the 6 hrs drive to the test center ... FA in my hand ( all I read in the car and in the hotel room brings me like 10 Qs ...)
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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TEST CENTER :
cool place...nice relaxing cafe with internet ( I saw gogeta and dncosta craving for their OASIS updates in lunch break ) ...kind ppl...
already wrote in my exam exp what I saw there
OASIS updated in july 18 ...
got my score and no more eager to write this in detail
194/79
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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lemme C/P a few sentences to and finish this :
Aug 2, 07 - 14:37 [+] [-] #81
HI FRIENDS !!!
I RECEIVED THE LETTER A FEW HRS AGO ... ITS ONLY 194/79
I TRIED TO MAKE THIS CLEAR TO ALL YOU THAT THIS WAS WHAT I WAS EXPECTING SO HOPE I DIDNT TURN YOUR FACES DOWN
AND PLZZZZZZ DO NOT FORGET THAT I GOT THIS WITH ONLY 25% OF Q BANKS ...NO NBMEs...A STUFFED CONCENTRATED ONE READ AND DVDs 2 YRS AGO ... SO THATS TOTALLY NORMAL AND ONCE MORE...THIS EXAM IS DOABLE !!!!
THE MOST IMPORTANT SENTENCE IN THIS POST : i COULD DO HALF OF FA AND ONLY 19 OF GOLJAN AUDIOS !!! IF i HAD DONE THEM ALL I COULD SCORE 95 !!! PLZZZ ! I WANNA CLIMB TO THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS AND SHOUT THIS OUT LOUD !!!!
so .. I promised to myself when I decided not to extend my day that I would face the consequence of this...so I will not be sad or quit ... instaed I will put every effort to score a 90+ in step 2 ! still it hurts a bit cuz I would be very happy with only 1 points more
all I need from you now is ...if you know anybody who got a residency in FM with a 79 and a ...lets say 90 ...
BY THE WAY...I WAS AIMING FOR 80+...THAT MEANS AIM 5 POINTS MORE THAN WHAT YOU REALLY ARE AIMING FOR TO GET IT !!!
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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Topics: 49
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hahhaaaa bigdino...so the next forum Ill be attending in life would be : "the reason why I became a babysitter"
just kidding...I strongly believe that if Allah lets something happen there is a good in it
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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Topics: 49
Posts: 1,435
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Paheli ... dear ... yes I can repeat once more that it is DOABLE !!!! my 79 score is totally a result of my stubbornness and acting emotional about my son not to do NBME and extend my day !! if I did that and completed all the prep I aimed for...I would definetely get my dreamt 85 this is a bad thing I should change about me...
Im soo shy sometimes...esp here on the forum bc you frenz even did my (only a 79er's) HI ALL thread stciky .. I even thought for a second...should I not write my score and disappear ...then I felt more shy bc of this tought of mine...God...we are all hummans with our weaknesses...
still the feeling I have after this 79 is not disappointment ...not losing hopes on residency ...not feeling less eager to start off for step 2...on the contrary...Im even more greedy now bc I gotta prove I can do it if I want...its simply being shy !! thats weird is not it
anywayyss... I just wanted to share ...Ill pray God grants me with the humble residency Im dreaming for
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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what else b4 I finish ??
thanks for your endless support in this marathon and as I alllways say ...I wouldnt even dare to take the exam without you friends !
I will try to keep in touch if you still have things to ask to a 79er
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Feyza
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OFF ME GO FOR STEP 2 NOW
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| Ujk
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Thanks for a great study experience and Good Luck for Step 2.
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“When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.”
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