bioguy
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Its been about 3 weeks since I firmly decided to start my prep and I made a 1 month schedule for Pathology. But now past 3 weeks I am still nowhere. I am already full time in PhD and whatever spare time I have, I decided to focus on prep but it just vanishes into thin air. I feel its my inability to break the committments to family and friends thats pulling me down, and gobbling up my time!
How do you people manage this kind of circumstances???
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| silver
Forum Guru
Topics: 21
Posts: 785
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By just saying NO!!
You have to be selfish. It is difficult, but imagine how difficult it can get for you if you don't do something about it now and keep going like this. Someone once said to me, that you worked so hard throughout to get this far, so don't mess it up now. Saying no and refusing certain appointments and whatnot is temporary--just explain to them that you have to do it this way and once you're through you'll get back to things--if they care, they'll understand. It's gonna be an adjustment on your part and theirs. If you want it bad enough, you'll do whatever it takes.
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| Feyza
Forum Guru
Topics: 48
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| | 07/22/07 - 04:07 PM
2 of 2 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #3 |
I lost awful hell lots of time JUST LIKE THIS !! I had no idea about how to say no...cuz I felt if ever I hurt someone...it would be no use to study in front of a broken heart...then I noticed life is passing and Im losing time and aaalll these things Im doing cuz I cant say no are just stealing from me... Im sort of a SPLITTING person...like spend all my money or keep it all...study 12 hrs a day or none...so this was the same...I decided THATS OVER ! and I did it...first reactions were a bit confused cuz ppl never heard a NO from me...then they got used to it...but I just explained them all very very kindly that I HAD TO DO THIS and promised to compensate for the occasion... I cried several times ...I felt very selfish several times...but now I passed and all are forgatten and all ppl I had to say no are still with me here sharing my happiness and fully understanding and appreciating my NOs ...so bioguy dear...no worries...once you pass every single NO will be a YES again 
very best luck
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| GOGETA
I'm Dr. GOGETA
Topics: 321
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http://rapidshare.com/files/40008707/Exam_prepara...
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As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.
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| dncosta
Licensed, finally
Topics: 19
Posts: 604
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bioguy, believe me, I know how it feels.
The question can be answered in 2 words: greater good
You'll miss some nice moments during your prep, but keep in mind your objectives and, the most important, the reason why these or those are your objectives.
It is always easier to go through hard situations if you know what lies beyond, what is the purpose for that struggling.
Be strong, it is not easy at all, but you'll succeed.
Edited by dncosta on 07/22/07 - 04:40 PM
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| P4a99
Forum Fanatic
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http://rapidshare.com/files/40008707/Exam_prepara...
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2008 Step 1 Study Plan Discussion ..... I am a moderator not a source for download links. Please do not ask me for any.
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| shwe
Forum Elite
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| | 07/22/07 - 05:12 PM
2 of 2 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #7 |
Tell me about it, though I am good at politely refusing, hiding, stay quiet , low profile , but I just lost 3 week or more actually since April plan for all guests staying, trip here .
Yha , just do not answer the phone, door , have answering mechine unhook, cell only with caller id with # & name on . If invited , refuse politely said, cannot make it , but may be not say for studying , but for just busy or etc real one though , then after few invitations all will stop . Not sure will loss them forever or not , but , no one will come or call you any more .
Bonus , quiet study at own room, home .
But I found out for some reason, if you said , you're studying , above tactic will not work , will have.. so , so many disturbances , even uninformed ahead visitors will stay whole day long with you or , will call you as emergency help , non medical that you cannot refuse, but actually is just to make you go to their house gathering, eating, talking, cooking from dawn to late night, even request you to stay over. Don't make it as happen , cause once happen, will have to stay sleep over all time.
Good Luck, be strong to refuse all to help, get help etc .
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| bioguy
Forum Guru
Topics: 57
Posts: 900
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Thanks so much, people!!! Your thoughts are very helpful to me. I know I am not alone.
I drew concentric circles based on the relationships.
Outer most circles are already dealt with - distant friends/aquaintances - are out of the picture.
Inner circles - distant relatives - from home country - talking on phone - is well under control now - I just hand over the conversations to my wife  , close friends don’t find me – they know I am hiding somewhere 
Now comes the inner most circle. They are very understanding - but sometimes they poke their smiling faces into my arena and ask for a mini favors which sometime become mega favors – God! Give me the strength to deal with this!!!
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| paheli
It'sAllAboutGoodKarma
Topics: 177
Posts: 2,436
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lol, great thread!! the things that we people do, to follow our dream.......
shwe, what you said is so correct. people just don't call me anymore. i guess i've become part of their outer circle, like how bioguy said.
can all this be put on our PS?
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Prepare as if you're the worst, Perform as if you're the best! As you dream, so you manifest. So, DREAM BIG!! When you face hardship, remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.
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| new_n_lost
Politically InCorrect
Topics: 652
Posts: 6,095
| | 07/22/07 - 08:15 PM
4 of 4 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #10 |
Seriously Tell me Abt it Like half of the ppl i knw think i m a HERMIT Socially Inept or Having some Major Mental retardation and Believe me they havent have the Chance or THE GUTS to say it to my face but they think i have flunked step 1 and i m preparing again.
And top of all That My Own Father thinks tht i m stressing too much and He thinks i just shud give it and See wht happens u wil score good. and My Exact Response to him was and i Quote " Do u actually think that i like sitting infront of a pc all day long trying to figure wht, how and where a bloody tine winci molecule of a virion acts on the platelets and number of sites i have to go thru just to chk out my answer and see if i m correct and the logic and concept behind it. DO U really believe that I the person who was the most social dude in his entire life likes to sit around his books all day long for minimum 10hrs a day for the past 6 mnths and still feeling miserable and shouts like a kid and jumps around like one when he gets a answer correct or is able to figure how the heck does a LAF Molecule substitute change the category from LAD 1 to LAD 2. If U really think that then Trust me u need to know again cos i think u really dont know ur Son "
I dont know if i was too harsh on him or whether i was being too rude but Really DO ppl who know us actually think that we like to sit around our books and be so grossly involved in them that u actually forget that u have a life............
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FORUM RULES-- Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck --P4U World.." The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
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| GOGETA
I'm Dr. GOGETA
Topics: 321
Posts: 2,711
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nnl the best post ever, how true is that
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As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.
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| ShweHope99.9998
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Oh well , bioG , the inner circle , even hubby as IMG & v. understanding son, drag me out tonight , now I am back with no mood to hit the book back. God please help 
I am ok trying to avoid going out for good few days & also all time b4 guests in town .
They thought I need some outting
NnL, cannot blame you father , even my hubby & son said , when are you going for the exm ??
I said after their several inquiry, if I do not have to do that st 1 that I will not use & do not need to be good in my practice , I will sit the exm even without study , come out with flying color.
Not joking .I did not know, but accidentally found out when got Int Med on line as treat , my score without study so good in high 80 , also with others not score good , me showing v. good .
Hope st 1 will be like that, not yet so far .
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| acintya
FOCUS on your Goal!
Topics: 7
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Well said NNL!!! And what a great thread Bioguy I feel like emailing this thread to those who might get some insight into what we are going through!!!
I am getting better at saying no....but those who do not get it, think I am this person who is stressing out too much and takes life too seriously and I need to take a break!!! But they do not know that even the li'l that I am doing is still not good enough..... I need to be putting in WAY MORE than I am right now!
But....all this will pay off....NO PAIN, NO GAIN!!
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Life is a Mind Game! Remember, obstacles aren't meant to prevent your success; they only slow you down and show you where you must work harder.
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
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AC you're back . Practice to say NO .
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| GOGETA
I'm Dr. GOGETA
Topics: 321
Posts: 2,711
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and the worst part is that sometimes you family can say, its just a test it cant be that hard.
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As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.
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| Feyza
Forum Guru
Topics: 48
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yeaa...my father still says : see you passed ..I told you it wasnt a big deal
I very well understand all you guys and all I can say is IGNORE and keep on your path !
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O my Lord! Open my chest for me ( grant me self-confidence ) and ease my task for me.Ta-Ha 25-26.
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| ShweHope99.9998
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GOGETA wrote:and the worst part is that sometimes you family can say, its just a test it cant be that hard.
GGT , I have a v. caring out of town elder brother calls me to say what are you doing still collecting the books with impateint tone, I hide later . He knows`.
All his inlaw are practicing already .
Some of my friends , even my GP do same , says , are you sure, residency is v. tough , hurry up or .. , why now .
I said I am not happy with what I am doing now, though not that is not good , all good , generally happy , but still need to go for exm to get practice the job I really enjoy & good at too .
Edited by ShweHope99.9998 on 07/23/07 - 08:50 AM
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| unique1
InGodITrust
Topics: 19
Posts: 1,405
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I told one of my friends ( she is not a doctor ) that I am studying for my test and have to study real hard for that . She innocently asked " like 2 hours a day or 3?" . When I told her that people study 8-10 hours a day on average , her eyes popped out like this . Her response was " Why do they have to study so much ? After all it is 'just a human body' that you study ".
I could not do anything but pull my hair 
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| po
Forum Elite
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unique1 wrote: After all it is 'just a human body' that you study ". I could not do anything but pull my hair
ya, of course its human body not a computer; thats why
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| shumaila
Forum Elite
Topics: 58
Posts: 347
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wow gr8 topic
I also wasted my lots of hours when I get stressed by ppl words oh have u done with all exams or when I told them Iam studying they start to ask ok when r u taking exam?
and things like' it seems u always study'
I dont know how to make ppl undestand it is not like matric or inter exam it is even tougher then our medical school studies and even If we study alot thee is no surety that we will clear it and we will get residency
and my favourite when I told them I will take exam in aug or sep '' OH alot of time is left in ur exam u should be relaxe''
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| jole
Forum Elite
Topics: 11
Posts: 269
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guys/gals am going thru the same thing.believe me, even to talk to my parents is a problem cos they keep asking me 'WHEN ARE U Taking your exams,you've been studying for more than a year now".they have no idea what am going thru.its like am teaching myself basic sciences all over again;but hey am glad that what i know now i didn't know when i finished med school and that makes me happy.Inshallah we'll all take this exam one day infact very soon for most of us.I just wish some of our people can be a little bit more patient with us.All the best to everyone.
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| ShweHope99.9998
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jole wrote:
guys/gals am going thru the same thing.believe me, even to talk to my parents is a problem cos they keep asking me 'WHEN ARE U Taking your exams,you've been studying for more than a year now".they have no idea what am going thru.its like am teaching myself basic sciences all over again;but hey am glad that what i know now i didn't know when i finished med school and that makes me happy.Inshallah we'll all take this exam one day infact very soon for most of us.I just wish some of our people can be a little bit more patient with us.All the best to everyone.
I forgive the close family , all of them ,because , even the IMG [ not from the web here ] who are studying or pass some, but still studying ask, why, how long, when exm is, though themself tell us after their st 1 pass ....said , you'll need ..... solid ..10 mo to 1 yr to get high score, the most can squeeze may be 7 -8 mo , less than that , ppl have study b/4 , not from scratch.
Then now they have pass st 1, 2 CS after few good yrs , they said why , no exm yet ?? with the look , you know. So now I hide from them too to not get the look from them, unnecessary push to exm , b4 I even finish one read & got morally down & feel small .
As like some others , I also could not study 24/7 or even daily for few hro only , study only when my day permit . So far I could not effort to have continuous 6-7 solid mo days study yet .
Ok , feel better . Back to study all .
GL
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