acintya
FOCUS on your Goal!
Topics: 7
Posts: 749
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FUNNY!!! My hubby and I kinda had the same debate last night as he was busy working on his hobby (photography) while I was desperately trying to sleep early and rise early.... with a bad headache to boot. And when he did come to bed he broke my sleep and I couldn't fall asleep for a loooong time!
And so here I am, its 4 pm here, not studied a word, moody and irritable that I woke up late, had to cook....spent too much time deciding what to do....and I read your post 
Don't worry, every down does need to have an UP!! And we will twiddle our thumbs for a while, beat ourselves for letting the mind wander and then we pick up our books and try to improve. Certainly we are not bad at all, so the last thing we need is to compare ourselves to our peers. Each of us is given a different set of circumstances to deal with....and in the end, it all evens out!! What you have, the other may not have...no offence to your friends who have made it to the attending position that we sooo long to be in  We only need to take inspiration from them and ACT ON GETTING THERE!!!
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The more a memory has been encoded, elaborated, organized, and structured, the easier it will be to retrieve.
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 12
Posts: 2,507
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As p2b said, BnB get to study, if cannot try to listen audio golj to boost up your motivation or have a quick nap then read as p2b plan .
Phone call, no ph call in days till exm done , not even from relatives unless urgent , if not from study friends or mates , only on week end night . Ph call can ruin alot , disturb your mood, study good momentum & speed etc .
GL GL GL happy success study to us, friends  
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| medocuk
IM-RES
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,499
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I really think I shud get married so I don't feel so left out. 
I want to cuss at some one too..
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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it's really sweet of you guys
ShweHope99.9998 is right, no phone call from now on--it's not the time you spend on phone calls, but those unrelated talks could distract you! i could always use my answer machine. i will also try your strategy, DVD or audio while not feel like being able to concentrate.
by "my old colleagues", i mean those people who i did my residency with while i was back in my home country. i was in a top program there, almost the best hospital in the country. The pain as an IMG is, you have to start everything all over again. all right, enough of my whining, this country gives us a chance to realize our dreams, so i shouldn't give up this opportunity.
Acintya, thanks for saying we are not bad at all. you know, sometimes i feel that I AM bad because i am wasting my time. well, i really need to know that i am not bad!
medoc, you should feel lucky that you don't have to cook or clean for someone. enjoy your single life.
Peditrician2B, I am not finished my Biochem either. let's suffer together. 
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| medocuk
IM-RES
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,499
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Oh! will remember.
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| Pediatrician2B
Forum Newbie
Topics: 5
Posts: 152
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Hi ,I'm back.No I was here all this time.Just realized I was spending too much time on the net but not reading.So I decided I won't write another word till I'm done with a few chps.What did I study? Well,not my Biochem like I had planned.I just took my First Aid and went thru the entire book to familiarize myself with the topics.Do I remember anything?Not really.But at least I have opened that book.2nd read will be better.
Hope u are on track with studies. .GL & study hard
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IF U BELIEVE U CAN, U WILL!
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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hi, I am back. felt depressed a little but managed to pull myself back.
I gave up the last two chapters of biochem and went to micro and immuno. i am done with immuno now and just finished one chapter in microbiology.
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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micro is not as good as I thought it would be. Dr.Dunn did good in immuno, so i thought that he would be good at micro too... but nooo! i am in the first chapter now and he is just like reading the notes instead of teaching. 
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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i still can't do well on micro! Kaplan notes is so terrible, do you call that a review book?
anyway i still have micro, pharm and anatomy left. i hope to be able to finish my first read in the middle of next month. then go to do Qbook.
keep up, keep a positive attitude! i think i am brave in some way, because i could land a job with at least 60k pay right now, but i choose to go through this journey because i think i deserve better.
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| kity
Certified.............
Topics: 31
Posts: 1,067
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we all deserve something better.. & one day we wll have it for sure till then we have just to walk towards our goal a little each day.. resting is ok.. but walking is must even if we are not running.. our goal is gettng closer that way...
me too struggling to atleast walk theses days.. may b soon will be back..
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NO PAIN .. NO GAIN ..
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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hi, guys, how r u all doing? I've been away for a while. Why? I couldn't touch my book for more than four days---last Friday afternoon, while I was struggling for Micro, I felt I was not productive at all, can't concentrate as I used to be, so I decided to put down the book and went to watch Grey's Anatomy, and then in the following four days, surfing online reading novels, watching another disc of Grey's Anatomy, and watching some really tedious TV shows. No mood to do anything, no mood for gym, no mood for cooking or cleaning, no mood to even go out---I don't know what happened, till now, I finally get my sanity back.
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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Don't know why--- maybe I was just tired, but the time that I put on study was never beyond 6-7 hours/day. I guess the reason was the pressure that I put on myself: "no, no, no, with this progress so far, there maybe no way to finish 3 times of reading and do enough Qs by the end of this year---then can't get into 2009 match, or match to a place that i have to separate from my husband---if that's the case, then when could i take my baby back! guys, guys, I've never mentioned this before, because I feel so guilty for this--- I left my baby at my parents' after I weaned her, then I came back to put myself into this study. I decided to do so because I think I could be a better mom for her by setting up a role model and make her proud of me.
My nerve cracked and I started to question everything and blame more of myself---why didn't i started earlier, two years ago? maybe it's not a good idea to start this at my age, this prep for exam is already tough, no to mention the future resident life. i've never never felt that i am "not a young woman any more", but now I started to sense the fear. I am in my early 30's.
Edited by betternbetter on 08/01/07 - 11:31 AM
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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all right, guys, as i said, i just got my sanity back.
My life is never going to be as PERFECT as i dreamed of when 17 years old. Just accept it. But imperfectness doesn't mean that my life is not going to be wonderful still. See, although i started to question a lot of things about myself when i was so down, i never, for a moment, thought of giving up, just as when i was 17.
all right, guys, enough of me, let's all cheer up. In Grey's Anatomy, Dr. McDreamy says "this is a wonderful day to save lives ". This is a wonderful day for us to go on the way to save lives.
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| kity
Certified.............
Topics: 31
Posts: 1,067
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you really need to read feyza's retro journal... it will take time to read it .... but its worth every minutes... esp in your situation...
http://www.prep4usmle.com/forum/thread/57954
she did it in so less time...... You have left your baby for studies right....
READ WELL TO GET YOUR BABY BACKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!..
just do your best friend.... your BEST!!! you have sacrificed a lot for it... now make your sacrifice worthwhile... mantra is just studying....... & studying ... got bored of it pick another one... bored of that too... pick yet another subject... bored of all...hear goljan.. but dont give excuse to yourself... I also wasted last week due to my laziness. I wish I had courage at that time just to hear goljan.. then I would have been back with it...
this is a doable exam.... but needs lots of courage to go thru the mateials again & again.. do Quality studying & Quantity(hrs counting )....
GOOOD luck... follow your dream... it will be true one day!!
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NO PAIN .. NO GAIN ..
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 12
Posts: 2,507
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Hi bnb ... Second to KT , almost pm you, cause of your post at support forum , so can ask you to read Feyza's.. Hi All .. post, but found out , you already there at FZ 's post sticky one by KT's good will .
We need the support site , group for all mom & all exm takers single or married, child or not .
Come back here , start reading , listening any subj .
It's normal to be agree or not agree , so your situation with hubby is just exm stress you both have . Try to study well , also do give self time with him too . Do not argue that goes nowhere , he want you to done exm, you too .
So study , study , nothing else, ...... NO TV , no sadness though you might.. try to study the best to win the exm , no thinking of past that cannot go back .
Focus present that study good, happy harmony with hubby & meet son soon , so that sweet present & future will be your sweet past soon .
You're not a bad person , neither is he , your hubby .
But if you keep on torturing yourself , you'll ends up as bad person . So get up & study , do go outting with him once in a week too . tell him you are depress , need his support , help, instead of yelling, blaming game with your normal soft sweet tone, not the panic anxious usmle prepper tone .
GL
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks!!!
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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got a lot of kind words and helps for my post on support forum.
i am going to have a good night sleep now, and get a good start tomorrow.
BnB is coming back!
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 12
Posts: 2,507
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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First, thanks to you all, dear sweet ppls: Bioguy, hopeforthebest, ShweHope99.9998, kity. You literally pull me out when i was so hopeless and desperate. i really don't know what can i do if you weren't there for me. My deepest gratitude here!
yesterday was a wonderful day for me:
did some review for microbiology.
also meet an online partner to go over things together through skype. i could never have cover this much if all by myself.
God must have heard my prayers.
plan for today:
review what we covered yesterday once more.
do some micro.
prepare for we will cover this evening.
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 12
Posts: 2,507
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Way to go , keep it up , you're on the roll girl BnB , the way you type the name show your confidence, & back to self , the best of your best .
GL
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| acintya
FOCUS on your Goal!
Topics: 7
Posts: 749
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Hi BnB, I saw your post in the support forum.....and my heart went out to ya....really....a biiiig hug for you....and I hope things get wayyyy better....in fact they are getting better already right??
Stress does strange things to people, so just let it go by, and I have said this before to our friends here at the journal world....this period of stress makes us more vulnerable too! So don't let it pull you down. And do try to look at yourself the way we all look at you...a brave, strong woman, tackling one of the most difficult challenges....the Step 1..... and DO NOT look at yourself the way your husband looks at you....he might have different perspective right now....
Wish you loads of luck, strength to do this successfully and a positive attitude through it all!
___________________
The more a memory has been encoded, elaborated, organized, and structured, the easier it will be to retrieve.
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 12
Posts: 2,507
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You're welcome , am glad that you're studying & also found the on line study partner .
GL
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| betternbetter
Forum Junior
Topics: 3
Posts: 63
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well, get started for today. I could wake up 1-2 hours earlier than usual these recent two days, although still sleepy. but after a shower, be able to function normally. Is it because of the Vitmamine B pills and MulitV pills that I am taking? 
check list of how much i did yesterday:
Reviewing, preparing: done.
some micro: no, the last hour before sleep flied by when I was online chatting with my study partner, totally forgot about this plan.
checklist of what I wish that I could have done better:
1. not to spend too much time online, I wasted almost 3 hours of study time on internet.
but i love the support system here. Just need to balance my time.
2. the online chat with my study partner was very nice, we gave each other a lot supports. But i wish that i could cut it shorter. we both need time to study. we are both red-eyed and need more sleep time.
3. Still have problems falling into asleep every night, wasted about 1-2 hours on bed toss and turn. let's seem what happens today.
plan for today:
1. micro include fungi. and review what i covered before, depends on time.
2. finish what i left on embryology.
3. go to gym: cardio 30 minutes. (no need to cook dinner today, nice!)
go go go!!! all the friends are here watching me!
P.S.
Thanks for your nice words, acintya!
ShweHope99.9998 , it feels so warm that you are here again. Like a big sister watching me.
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| ShweHope99.9998
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 12
Posts: 2,507
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You're welcome B2B , all support here & on line , chat are good, but do not carried away , remind self & each other .
Try reading or listening some that make you fall asleep.
Golj audio did work for some, but alot agree about Dr Dunn physio , Dr. Raymon some biochem cause of the tone . One person said have a child, will tired dead at 9 pm
Anyway , thanks for the compliment . Just remind me if you think I am too much as big sistery
GL
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| paheli
It'sAllAboutGoodKarma
Topics: 170
Posts: 2,218
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hey bnb. i just found out by chance that you've had a prep journal here.
from your last few posts, it's great to see that things are lookin up for you. that's excellent!!
i basically came over to bring you a pulse of positivity, for the coming week and more, so every minute of yours is valuable and valued.
happy studying!!
___________________
Prepare as if you're the worst, Perform as if you're the best! As you dream, so you manifest. So, DREAM BIG!! When you face hardship, remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.
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