sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi
thank you edie.
i know this step 1 is important, but previously i thought this is not all comes into consideration when wehav to compromise family life.
i thought i cant bear anyone pointing out at me,but now i realised dat we hav to change a little after marriage.
we have tobe responsible dan him, we hav to work hard to make both ends meet.
we hav to utilise our every second to fulfill everything.
we hav to forget movies,sleeping till 8am,and being lazy and somanythings.
becos the other things r very very important to fulfill ur responsibilities.
i think i will be acquainted to all these things soon.
the most hard things in these days is getting ur early inthe morning 6am.
previously i didnt find anything different getting up early or late
but now i understood dat by that we will responsibilities of a wife early in the morning.
but now i can do all these things but the problem is he wont ask me todo things,just he expects.
but i will think how i can phone to incometax and pay his things?
i dont know all these thing?and all and in the last i will behave adamantly to the things.
i will soon go into depression when he wont talk with me because of all these things,and i soon starts thinking that i should not get married ,whats the solution,i cant cope up with all these things and all.
i know my mistake is there and iam involved in all these becos of my mood,but iam unable to solve all these things.
i hope u understood my problem,i will give an example,sterday we went to his consultant's place,i came from a village background and i cant talk much english.
he expected me to talk better than him.
i just say i cant talk like dat it takes time for me to learn that.
and infront others i cant talk diplomatically its my weakness i will talk plain and sometimes stupidely.
iam unable to correct my self in this aspect.
in this situation his fault is he expects more dat leads to dissapointment
and mine is i am hard headed and i have a fixed mind dat i cant do more dan this, thats wrong i should improove as early as possible isnt it.
in his point iam doing mistake certainly,but how to improove the situation i dont know?
anyone can help me inthis things?
i cant approach my family or my brothers now after marriage.
iam the youngest in family i dont know how to tackle the situation.
how can i improove all these thing?
i want to complete neuroanatomy today
i will do it.
ok sorry to bother all of u with my problems
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| medocuk
IM-RES
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,466
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Hi there, I just read your last post.You know we all have problems in our lives.Friends/family/partners.And we all learn along the way.I may not have the same problems as you and I definitely don't understand what you are going through which I understand must be very tough.But I want you to know you are not alone.
You have to take a day or two off.Drink some wine or coffee or whatever you fancy.Do gardenning make jam whatever that makes you feel better. I'd say shopping but I am so broke :P..And then think and talk to yourself.
You have joined this forum as you are planning to taken Step one.It is a tough exam.Costly and tough.This is enough to screw anyone's life as it is and then add the family stuff.
I suggest use the defence mechanism of supression and forget/pretend you have no other problems.Avoid confrontation at home.Do your daily stuff and make 6 hours or more if you can which is only your time.I am sure you can squeeze that time from 24 hours.
Those god given 6 or more hours you do nothing but study.If you think, be sad and be all distracted during that time then you are to be blamed.
Be strict on yourself.As this is what you want and you have to do this for yourself.
I hope it helps.I wish you luck.
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| sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi
thank you alot
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| medocuk
IM-RES
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,466
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You are welcome. So now what are you reading? 
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| sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi
iam winding up pharmacology,and neuro anatomy high yielding topics.
i read goljan rapid review book,but i didnt managed to listen to his audio.
i am doing still mistakes in pathology,dat worries me much.
what to do?
shall i cover the goljan one more time with audios and uw?
or else move on to my left subjects biochemistry,stastics,genetics,behavioural?
iam going to take in aug
what do u suggest?
thank you for stopping by and talking.
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| sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi
iam again in depression
i am reading all subjects haphajardly and i dont know where i had landed.
iam in a feeling that worth of nothing
my husband either hav oncall duties,or day offs,or weekends with some stupid friends whom we both dont like,he will show all the angrieness ,frustation,and confusion before me.
i will be patiently lcomforting him through all these periods and will be waiting for a moment when he will ask me look after my emotional needs.
he dont have time to listen to my things.
he dont consider those r such important things.
may be he is correct?
every couple will have one or two things in a day to talk isnt it?
i feel iam wrong,iam talkative but how can i convert my self
will anybody help me in correcting myself?
i feel very sorry for disturbing u guys,but help me how change myself.
i am afraid this cant go like tjis.
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| edie
I can, and I will.
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,199
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Sahashra,
You have mentioned very serious issues that need your attention much more than the step 1 at this time. Stop studying. Get your personal life in order. Then, return to your studies with renewed focus, concentration, determination. I wish you all the best.
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| sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi
i didnt find any solution to all these problems
iam in a state of hopelessness
anyway i will pray god to help me
thank you for supporting me
thank you
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| acintya
FOCUS on your Goal!
Topics: 7
Posts: 764
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Hi Sahashra,
Please do not despair, it is really normal to go through ups and downs in marriage especially since you are newly married. It takes time for two people with completely different upbringing, completely different outlooks and perspectives on life, completely different EXPECTATIONS (which is the KILLER) to live together in harmony under the same roof, until you both find the equilibrium ground.
So don't be so hard on yourself!! And marriage is not easy, IT TAKES QUITE A BIT OF WORK.. and since you are busy studying, of course there is no time to work on the marriage part of it. So it is obvious that finding the solution to such problems will not happen overnight! It needs patience, perseverence and some effort to work on the underlying issues and try to understand each other better.
I would suggest to you, to stop expecting things of him.... I KNOW IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE.....but like medocuk suggested, you do your bit, make sure you do things to make him comfy, I mean regular duties of a wife etc... but take those 6 hrs a day when he is at work to just SUBMERGE IN USMLE PREP!!
Just avoid confrontations as it is more draining emotionally and mentally than solving the issue. When you get a good moment with him, in a loving, unemotional, unaccusing way, try to reach out to let him know that you are struggling with stuff and need him to understand and help you out. Say you are trying your best, and that you need time to adjust to what he needs you to do, and also need him to help you out to reach those goals.
As Edie suggested, please sort this out before it gets worse. BEING SILENT and not COMMUNICATING will lead to disaster.... so both of you will definitely need to communicate openly.
And you know what..... it DOES NOT MATTER WHAT IS ON THE OUTSIDE...YOUR CORE IS WHAT MATTERS...one can be the MOST SOPHISTICATED, CULTURED person on the outside, and still be an animal on the inside.... so what matters is your core character...so one must remain humble, caring and loving! so please don't beat yourself by saying you don't know how to handle the outside world.... it comes over time, and practice.
You are a strong woman I pray that God give you more strength to go through this rough patch.... I am certain He will!! so good luck !! and keep posting here.... keep studying as much as possible!
We are all here! So don't feel you are alone!
___________________
Life is a Mind Game! Remember, obstacles aren't meant to prevent your success; they only slow you down and show you where you must work harder.
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| acintya
FOCUS on your Goal!
Topics: 7
Posts: 764
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phew!! sorry for the long post, did not realize I wrote so much....kept writing all that came in my head!
Keep your chin up, girl....remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS!
Good luck again
___________________
Life is a Mind Game! Remember, obstacles aren't meant to prevent your success; they only slow you down and show you where you must work harder.
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| medocuk
IM-RES
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,466
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Hey I wish there was some thing we could do to help you. But most times you have to help yourself. Praying to god to give you the strentgh to do what it takes for u to do what u need to do.
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| sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi actinya,edie and medouk,
thanks alot.
u made me to gain hope.
actinya thanks for writing all those come to ur mind
actually "this too shall pass" is the healing word for me.
god bless u with his blessings.
iam recovered a little bit now and i began realising that every feeling will not stay for life.
now i will do things in a course of time.
and i solved my problem with subjects also.
iam going to complete the subjects in the order of uw.
i will listen to dvds.
i want to work really hard,with my heart ,soul,mind and body.
i will work really.
i will work make my dreams real.
thank you u gave me real courage.
thank you very much.
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| edie
I can, and I will.
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,199
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Sahashra, good for you, that's the spirit! I am happy to hear that you are able to pull through. i wish you all the best, and GL with your studies
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| medocuk
IM-RES
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,466
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I totally second Edie..You are brave and strong and you have it in you to do it.Good luck.Hugs too.
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| sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi,
iam very even through i didnt read very well for sterday, i made a plan.
here is my plan
Attached Files:
MY TIME TABLE.xls (15 KB, 20 downloads)
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| edie
I can, and I will.
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,199
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Hi Shahashra, you've got the plan, now let's get ready and GO GO GO
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| acintya
FOCUS on your Goal!
Topics: 7
Posts: 764
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GREAT JOB!
A small quote for you by Mark Twain:
"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one."
Also: "He who fails to plan, plans to fail".
So you are on the right track my friend!! Now lets get moving!!
___________________
Life is a Mind Game! Remember, obstacles aren't meant to prevent your success; they only slow you down and show you where you must work harder.
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| medocuk
IM-RES
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,466
|
Hey you are half there.You have a plan..Now just stick with it.
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| sahashra
Forum Senior
Topics: 7
Posts: 123
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hi,
today i started reading neuroanatomy.
i just discovered dat its so easy
actinya what u said is absolutly correct.
 thanks alot.
bye
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| edie
I can, and I will.
Topics: 26
Posts: 1,199
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Good luck with neuro, Sahashra, glad to hear that you are having an easy time with it
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