laptop
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Days of drama and suspense are over .Based on my research findings I know now exactly how residency programs choose their candidates .So all Harry 99 s who are mulling and bleeding over how their interview went need to relax.Need to relax coz what you said during the interview didnt matter at all .
MY research was a double blinded unicentric research conducted at Henry Ford IM residency program .I chose Henry Ford since it offered good randomization by rejecting stellar candidates like Apurva and not inviting dumbs like myself.WHat came out of the research has left me shuddering down to my sacral spine.The results of this study dont apply to females as the null hypothesis stands valid in their case with p value equal to 1.
OK so the big deal now ..ONce the candidates arrive for interview they are immediately shoved into a room full of coffee ,water and juices. ..Warning -this is not a welcome gesture ..ITs LOADING >>>PRograms want to make you want to pee as much as possible .Candidates are given access to not more than 2 restrooms..This is very well coordinated by the administrative staff ... It removes any follow up bias ....these 2 rest rooms are wired with 8 high resolution close circuit tv cameras...What candidates do in the restroom is taped..Interview with the PD and the facutlty is a big hoax...it is not scored at all ..THere wont be any variation among the candidates if interviews were scored ..coz all know how to act smart and speak smart .WHat is scrutinized and taken into account is how you pee and how you behave in the rest room .Depending on how a particular candidate behaves during his restroom VOyage ,he lands himself in one of the following classification
EXCITABLE TYPES -Pants are twisted, can’t find fly, and finally rips pants in anger.
SOCIAL TYPES- Joins pals for a píss whether or not he wants to or not.
TIMID TYPES- Cannot píss if anyone is watching, pretends he has already píssed, and sneaks back later.
NOISY TYPES -Whistles loudly, peeps over partition to take a look at the other fellow’s tool.
INDIFFERENT TYPES -All urìnals are occupied. písses in the sink.
CLEVER TYPES -Písses without holding tool in the hand and shows off by adjusting tie.
VAIN TYPES -Undoes five buttons when two would do.
INTELLECTUAL TYPES -Opens vest, takes out tie, and písses in his pants.
ABSENT-MINDED TYPES -Not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive examination of his tool while píssing.
CHILDISH TYPES- Looks at bubbles in bottom of urìnal while píssing.
STRONG TYPES- Bangs tool on the side of urìnal to knock off the last drops.
DRUNKEN TYPES -Pulls out tool, sees two, puts one back, and písses in his pants.
COCKEYED TYPES -Stands at one urìnal and písses at the next one.
SHY TYPES -Covers his tool with both hands and písses through his fingers.
NASTY TYPES -Takes equipment out, starts píssing, sneezes violently, and písses all over the next guy.
Now once the program knows the type of the candidate by exhaustively researching the tape ,it can pick and choose easily according to its demands..A mix of Social timiD and Clever types augers well for future fellowship placements .Nasty excitable and Drunken are an absolute no no .Rest all depends
Disclaimer-The results of this study dont apply to females as the null hypothesis stands valid in their case with p value equal to 1.
Now which class do you fall into .
Edited by laptop on 12/30/06 - 01:51 PM
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WHo let the dogs out in polka dotted dress shirts .
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| sarika
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The season premier was good...but the show fails to follow thru!
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| doc_droc_apurva
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Aut Invenam Viam Aut Faciam
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| dev
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| Dr.M
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Hi laptop, what happen if you don't have to ... ?
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| laptop
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Dr.M wrote:
Hi laptop, what happen if you don't have to ... ?
If you dont have to pee- then program has to find your peeing behaviour from your recommendation letters ..LOR writers have a subtle way of indicating how a candidate pees..YOu may not notice it in your lor.Pd s know how to read it
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WHo let the dogs out in polka dotted dress shirts .
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| deepa04
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http://www.prep4usmle.com/forum/comments.php?id=4...
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| mazinger
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hilarious laptop... U made me pee in my pants....
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| LifeInTheFastLane
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Hmm...but this is just the complex kinesiomatic analyses of candidates ...from the PD's point of view...how are these types finally ranked/selected????
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| bbb
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LITFL - I can answer that. The PD and I will take all the files, throw them in the air and the ones that land face up or face down (depending on the phase of the moon) and use that for our rank list. Who goes first? The one that slides the furthest......
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bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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| tolito
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i love this forum
i have an interview on friday. i guess i need to search for what happens to females in the restroom so i know how to behave.
happy new year all.
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| Dr.M
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| LifeInTheFastLane
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bbb wrote:
LITFL - I can answer that. The PD and I will take all the files, throw them in the air and the ones that land face up or face down (depending on the phase of the moon) and use that for our rank list. Who goes first? The one that slides the furthest......
Damn...wish you'd told me earlier...would have kept most of my common application blank and my PS restricted to 1 paragraph....
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| dev
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y isnt this moved to forum lounge
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| laptop
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bbb wrote:
LITFL - I can answer that. The PD and I will take all the files, throw them in the air and the ones that land face up or face down (depending on the phase of the moon) and use that for our rank list. Who goes first? The one that slides the furthest......
My file has oil smeared over both sides...It slides the fathest .PD run for 10 miles to retrieve my sliding file .TO make matters convenient I provide Remote breaks to Program co-ordinators..BUt for strange reasons no pc applies break untill the pd has run for at least 10 miles....(pcs like 2 make pd run )
To witness this running of PDs all can visit the downtown area of every major city ..TOns of PDs can be seen running around ,catching metros and hiring taxi to chase my files.
Thanks for the inside view bbb ..Inside is used as a metaphor -not to be taken as inside washroom.
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WHo let the dogs out in polka dotted dress shirts .
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| bbb
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So that's your file with the oil? I thought that I just dropped the salad dressing. The sad thing is that my PD could and would run the 10 miles. And probably not break a sweat. I wouldn't run it, someone has to answer the phones.......
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bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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| laptop
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bbb wrote:
So that's your file with the oil? I thought that I just dropped the salad dressing. The sad thing is that my PD could and would run the 10 miles. And probably not break a sweat. I wouldn't run it, someone has to answer the phones.......
Yes that was eucalyptus oil .This allows PD to follow my file even if it goes out of sight while the pursuit is on .PD can sniff it and follow it
While the PD is out on the pursuit I will call you and sing you a RObbie RObertson Song..
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WHo let the dogs out in polka dotted dress shirts .
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