spebeeto
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
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I'm such an idiot.
I applied to 5 more programs to "make up" for the 5 that seem to have rejected me within the last week. After hearing all about everyone's interviews, I got scared and jumped the gun.
What's 125 bucks more? I'm now up to 95 programs applied to. The worst thing is, I made a personal promise to myself NOT to do this sort of thing.
I know, I know......................
I'm an idiot. 
Man, I need a drink....
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| Rasul
Forum Guru
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Spebeeto! Don't be mad at Yourself-I did the same. Now I have almost 200 programs I applied for. Crazy money, and I did it because I'm afraid I won't match. Considering the stellar scores of the rest I have a slim chance.
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| spebeeto
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 176
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High-Five me, Rasul....
I'm always lookin' out for the small guy/gal! If you go into the forum lounge, you'll see my post to the ficticious "Program Director" and you'll know where I stand on this.
I have a plan of attack if I haven't heard from Programs by the 1st of November. That's less than a month away!!!
I'm so sad right now, and I am NOT whining when I say that. It's just that I've worked so hard (as has everyone), but my (&**&^^% scores don't reflect that. All they see is a failure (multiple attempts), IMG (even worse), and someone who can't seem to sell themselves well enough. Plus, now that I look at my picture I sent to the ECFMG or USMLE or IHATETHEMALL, I think I look somewhat retarded. Who wants a retarded failure of an IMG?!!??
Oh, I digress...
I am just having an incredible low tonight..... I'm not religious whatsoever, so I cannot pray to God for enlightenment or hope or whatever. What I am is built on my abilities, and if I'm not good enough, so be it. I must accept it. 
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If you can't win someone over, then at least confuse them!!!
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| LifeInTheFastLane
Forum Elite
Topics: 33
Posts: 444
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relax buddy...
"This is human life, the war, the deeds, the disappointment, the anxiety,
Imaginations, struggles far and high:
All human.."
-keats
And believe me, everyone who stares at his pic for long enuf gets that "funny feel" atleast once...unless he/she is a narcicissist...:-)
so chill
(btw..luv yr cat!!)
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| LifeInTheFastLane
Forum Elite
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damn!
every word like "anxiety" , "slim" "beautiful"..etc gets hypertext-ed these days!
screw you, you add mongering money-leechers!
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| imnotamit
Forum Guru
Topics: 18
Posts: 252
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hi spebeeto..i just wish I cud share a drink with u...everyone goes thru these incredible lows at some point of time...but its good that u r talking about it...it helps...but HOPE is the word...there is one piece of advice i wud like to give as mentioned in 'GITA'(one of the holy books of HINDU religion)..."DO YOUR WORK AND DON'T THINK ABOUT THE RESULT"..it sounds simple but very relevant...atleast it worked for me.....i have done my bit and now responding to what is coming my way to the best of my abilities...also go to a place of worship and do prayer...i m not being philosophical it really helped me....hope it helps u too.. best wishes...
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Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about.
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| Rasul
Forum Guru
Topics: 56
Posts: 485
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Saw Your post in Forum Lounge, Spebeeto. Agreed with every single word.
I don't have multiple attempts, but my scores are low. Besides, I'm an old graduate. Although I'm only 30, I've been out of Medical School for 9 years already. IMG. Life sucks.
What's Your plan of attack? I'll gladly join forces with You!
I'm from California, but considering my budget I can't apply for California programs. Will consider myself lucky to match anywhere in US. My preference is given to: North Dakota IM program, Akron Ohio IM program or anywhere in Boston,MA
Good Luck to all of us!
Don't loose hope!
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| spebeeto
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 176
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Thanks everyone... 
You are golden, Rasul: No multiple attempts, not as old as I am.... That's already a thousand percent better.
I'm going for the midwest. I am totally not interested in California, FLA, NJ and NY, because I initially thought I would rather die than live in expensive, crowded areas. Plus the costs of living is so high in those places, and I am not interested in that. I guess I'm a country girl at heart. Furthermore, I think everyone wants to go to those places, and so I knew I had absolutely no chance with all these 99ers floating around.
But like you said, I don't give a flying f*** where I go. I just want to go somewhere.
I did, as my only "for fun" 25 bucks, apply to TY in Puerto Rico. Hahahaha I have to laugh, because I'm like the total opposite of latino. I look more like a typical German (blonde, blue eyed).... They'll take one look at my picture and laugh....
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| blizkonebe
Forum Elite
Topics: 12
Posts: 348
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hi babe, so sorry to hear of your pain. you are not in this alone. there is plenty of us out there. i actually think that if i don't get any interviews, it will be a sign from GOD that i need do something else. i am an actress on the side - maybe the whole oscar dream is not unattainable. anyway that is my plan of action. hope you feel better today.
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keep it real!
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| spebeeto
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 176
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 Yep, feeling somewhat better today. At least on hold at one more place.
If this doesn't work out, I think I'll become a guest speaker at medical schools on how NOT to get into residency.
"You all think you're so great because you're in medical school? Well, that's only 1/231 of the problems you'll have and the money you're going to spend..."
hahaha,
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If you can't win someone over, then at least confuse them!!!
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| laptop
Forum Guru
Topics: 19
Posts: 861
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Spebeeto
You have accumulated 6 penalty points for public display of forbidden emotions.Forbidden emotions include feeling of anger ,despair, frustration ,despertaion and fear .These emotions can never be a part of repertoire of emotions of a love island comrade .Had such a display come from a general civilian I would have had no objection; but you ,being a love island special agent, are not allowed to harbor such feelings .Unfortunately , my obligation as a commander of the fraternity does not allow me to resist taking disciplinary action on such a gross misconduct.I suggest that you atone for your misconduct by unlimited partying in a festive atmosphere .Let your husband underestand how costly it is to have a love island comrade as his wife .
Regards
Laptop
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WHo let the dogs out in polka dotted dress shirts .
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| spebeeto
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 176
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Hahaha
Commander, I am pleased to report to you at oh-twenty-seven hours that I have recovered from my outer-body experience and have successfully used the devil-device (corkscrew) on a bottle of wine. This experience has not only given me physical strength, it has given me more confidence in myself than I have ever imagined. Furthermore, I am proud to report that today's L.I. Mission: "Do the laundry" was a success, and I am now donning the appropriate L.I. clothing to boost my confidence further. Our troops here in this part of the world were running low.
Although I showed weakness to the troops, I assure you that it was intermittent and will not be repeated again this troublesome season. I have done my fellow comrades unjustice for this lack of strenght, and I hope I can assure them that it will not happen again.
This is SpeBeeTo, reporting to duty: Strong and Confident!
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If you can't win someone over, then at least confuse them!!!
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| spebeeto
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 176
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I'm mad again... Feeling incredibly uneasy. I guess I'll never interview. I'm not even worthy of rejection letters.
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If you can't win someone over, then at least confuse them!!!
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| LifeInTheFastLane
Forum Elite
Topics: 33
Posts: 444
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Chill buddy...IVs WILL COME YOUR WAY...never fear..
Keep the faith
goodluck!
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time....
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| laptop
Forum Guru
Topics: 19
Posts: 861
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spebeeto
go and take out tobi for a haircut ..let her have the most weird haircut ....then ascertain whether she or he becomes upset/angry/disappointed /embarassed or not ....I bet he/she wont....
Now you have a lesson to learn from him /her
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WHo let the dogs out in polka dotted dress shirts .
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