chemamr
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-if anything can go wrong, it will
Corollary: It can
Corollary sent by
MacGillicuddy's Corollary: At the most inopportune time
Corollary sent by
Things get worse under pressure.
The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Murphy's Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support whatever theory. Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it.
Sent by Tony ྀ
Addition to Murphy's Laws
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.
More Laws Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem. Nothing is as easy as it looks. Everything takes longer than you think. Everything takes longer than it takes.
Sent by Jon Carpenter
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. Every solution breeds new problems. The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance. no matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up.
Sent by Mitch
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Sent by http://www.thebig8.net/">Classic CKLW Page' target=_blank>href="http://www.thebig8.net/">Classic CKLW Page
The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will throw up on it.
Sent by Ralph
You will always find something in the last place you look. If your looking for more than one thing, you'll find the most important one last.
Sent by Alegna
It is never in the last place you look. It is in the first place you look, but never discovered on the first attempt.
Sent by Sent by John Cougar and by href="mailto:mbahaman@hotmail.com" target=_blank>Amwood1@amwoodhomes.com.
Heisenberg indetermination principle applied to ill luck:
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,
the worse you know when this will happen,
and vice-versa.
and Relativistic correction of Murphy's law:
Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.
Corollary (otherwise said: ill luck is actually absolute):
Regardless of your frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.
Were sent by Simone Penzavalle.
If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it. If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will back-fire in your face. When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the other is congested. Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will. Remember the "Boomer-rang" effect; Whatever you do will always come back. If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions. He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger.
The last SEVEN laws were sent by
The cost of the hair do is directly related to the strength of the wind. Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten. The clothes washer/dryer will only eat one of each pair of socks.
EIGHT laws were sent by Charles L. Mays,
Thank you. When you see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in.
Sent by href="mailto:kro-nic@home.com" target=_blank>Joe Crespins law of observation:
the probability of being observed is in direct proportion to the stupidity of ones actions
Sent by R. Crespin esq.
If you go to bed with an itchy ass, you wake up with smelly fingers.
Sent by Chris Davidsen, from Norway. A knowledge of Murphy's Law is no help in any situation. If you apply Murphy's Law, it will no longer be applicable. If you say something, and stake your reputation on it, you will lose your reputation. no matter where I go, there I am
Sent by John Davenport
Where patience fails, force prevails.
Sent by Sent by Timothy Boilard
Waxman's Law:
Everything tastes more or less like chicken.
Last two laws were sent by href="mailto:jujuakita@aol.com" target=_blank>Jujuakita
If anything was worth doing, it would've already been done.
Corollary: Nothing is worth doing.
Sent by D-D-D-Dave You can do anything except light a paper match on a marshmallow under water
Sent by John Ants will always infest the nearest food cupboard.
Sent by anonymous Long's Law
Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.
Sent by Chris Moore
McFalls' Maxim
No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts.
Translation: You may come to terms with being screwed, but nevertheless you're still screwed.
Sent by Oliver McFalls
Hunter's Corollary to Murphy's Law:
Things always go from bad to worse.
Hunter's Observation on Beauty:
Beauty is only skin deep, fashion even shallower. Hunter's Observation on Experts:
An expert is someone with an opinion and a word processor. Hunter's Observation on Sugarcoating:
All pornography is air-brushed or computer-enhanced. Hunter's Observation on hypocrites:
A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite. Hunter's Observation on Education and Oz:
"We can give you a diploma, but we can't give you a brain."
The last six laws were sent by Hunter
Sgt. Murphy's Law
Don't get into a pissing contest with a skunk.
Sent by Bird Waring The Law of Stupid Tricks
Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Sent by Zenjive
Garbage abhors a vacuum. It will grow to fill available space.
Corollary: The more space you have, the more junk you'll have.
Sent by href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/external-search?tag=murphyslawssite&keyword=Terry%20Pratchett&mode=books" target=_blank>Terry Pratchett
The Wingwalker's Rule:
Don't let go of something until you have a hold of something else.
Sent by D. Kinloch. A bird in the hand is messy.
Sent by Ted Machler
The mud that won't come off on the doormat immediately adheres to the carpet.
Sent by Sent by Mark
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come...
Sent by Sent by Sharon Murphy
If all else fails, hit it with a big hammer.
Sent by Jeronimo
Warneke Law
You cannot force Murphy's Law to happen and you can't use it in reverse.
Sent by Warneke When something goes wrong, you cannot find the solution in the instruction booklet, but someone else always does.
Sent by href="mailto:normajean24@hotmail.com" target=_blank>what'd ya say?
You will find an easy way to do it, after you've finished doing it.
Sent by Conan Rock
Hofstadter's Law:
It always takes longer than you think, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Sent by Ben Jones
In Las Vegas, wherever you want to go in a casino, it's as far as possible from where you are, no matter where you are.
Sent by Lois Weiner
The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo
Sent by G B Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo. The probability of the toast landing peanut-butter-side-down is directly proportionate to the cost of the carpeting.
Sent by Keith Hipkins
Laundry Math:1 Washer + 1 Dryer + 2 Socks = 1 Sock
Sent by Bryan Ortiz
Window polishing:
It's always on the other side.
Sent by Jakob Sultan
Hall's Law:
Anyone who isn't paranoid simply isn't paying attention.
Sent by Colin (Another) Hall's Law
Minor problem isn't.
Sent by Philip Hilbert Hall' target=_blank http: out tongue" border="0" smilies images default templates forum www.prep4usmle.com tongue.gif?>hall@wheelerschool.org">Philip Hilbert Hall
A valuable falling in a hard to reach place will be exactly at the distance of the tip of your fingers. If a valuable falls in a hard to reach place at a distance shorter than the tip of your finger, as soon as you try to reach it you'll push it to that distance.
The last two laws were sent by Luciano Quinones
If it looks good,
And it taste good,
And it feels good,
There has got to be something wrong some where,
So be careful.
Sent by href="mailto:whitehouse@gulf.net" target=_blank>Robert K White
When you really need something, its either not available, or can't be found. When you don't need it, its either available, or lays around in plain sight.
Sent by Robert Van Sile
Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later.
Sent by Jeff S
Law of Conservation of Filth:
In order for something to get clean, something else must get dirty.
Conclusion to the Law of Conservation of Filth:
It is possible for everything to get dirty and nothing to get clean.
Sent by Scott Tietjen,
AKA, "Great Scott" The file you are looking for is always at the bottom of the largest pile.
Sent by Larry
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Sent by G Martin
Gumperson's Law:
The likelihood of something happening is in inverse proportion to the desirability of it happening.
Sent by Ken Kaplan
Uffelman's Razor:
[Given Murphy's law, ...] One should not attribute to evil design any unfortunate result which can be attributed to error. A mistake (or series of mistakes) is the simpler and more likely explanation.
Conspiracy Corollary to Uffelman's Razor:
Nothing should be attributed to conspiracy that can be explained by error or a succession of errors.
Example 1: The alleged conspiracy to "fake" the Apollo moon landing.
Such an undertaking would be so likely to result in multiple glitches that it would be nearly impossible to pull off. Thus, conspiracy is an unlikely explanation of events. Accordingly, the "evidence" of the "faked" landing is more likely a result of the errors of those interpreting the evidence than of the evil design of the alleged conspirators. Example 2: The Warren Report.
Any open questions in the Warren Report are more likely the result of the errors of the Warren commission, or the errors of those interpreting the Warren Report, than the result of a conspiracy to cover up the true facts.
copyright 1995, 2002.
Probability law:
Probabilities serve only and exclusively to determine the degree of improbability of the catastrophes that actually take place.
Corollary: If something is likely to happen AND desirable, it won't happen.
Sent by Sylvain Galibert
Common Sense Is Not So Common Power Is Taken... Not Given
Sent by href="mailto:redbk@tir.com" target=_blank>Red
key to happiness is to be O.K. with not being O.K.
Sent by Divya
The two most abundant things in all the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Sent by Ross Henderson
Stupidity is the fundamental driving force of the Universe, which explains why stupid people always go wrong.
Sent by Anonymousepad Every rule has an exception except the Rule of Exceptions.
Sent by GL Roberts
If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.
Sent by Bob Holdegraver
If you plan for something to go wrong, and it doesn't go wrong, it would have been ultimately profitable for it to go wrong.
Sent by John Wilson
Common sense isn't.
Sent by Joe Facchini
The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits.
Sent by Mark M Stevens
The universe is great enough for all possibilities to exist.
Sent by Elizabeth A. Kennedy
Those who don't take decisions never make mistakes.
Sent by Asier Zabarte
The only price you pay for greatness is knowing that it can't last forever.
Sent by Taranis Valerin
Anything that cant possible in a million years go wrong, will go wrong. Anything that seems right, is putting you into a false sense of security. If everything seems great, its already gone wrong. The only time you're right, is when its about being wrong. The only times something's right, is when everyone agrees its wrong.
The last five laws were sent by Thomas Wrobel
If a Murphy law is tried to be used to have a desired outcome, the law will backfire.
Sent by Pat M.
Its never so bad it couldn't be worse.
Sent by If for some reason Murphy's Law fails to operate, it is building up for something big. Hermetic Murphism
As above, so below. The big catastrophes are made up of smaller ones. Buddha's Version of Murphy's Law
Decay is inherent in all things, strive unceasingly. Fleming's corollary:
Nothing ever gets better. Murphologist's Curse
Given time one can develop a sense of how Murphy's Law will act, but the Murphy Sense will tingle only after it is too late to keep the excreta from impacting the rotating blade based wind generator.
The last seven laws were sent by Azrias Mordax
The probability that something can go wrong is directly proportional to the square of the amount of inconvenience it can cause you Everything that could possibly go wrong for anyone else always seems to happen to you Law of cooperatives
In any particular situation, if three things can go wrong, they usually do in sequence, each facilitating the occurrence of the next
The last three laws were sent by Takura Razemba
Mr. Murphy warning:
Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy Mrs. Murphy's Law:
If something goes wrong, it's Mr. Murphy's fault.
Last two laws were sent by Frank O'Neal
Mrs. Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong it will, and when it does, the woman will get the blame
Sent by ginakell@hotmail.com
Lewis' Axiom
The person ahead of you in the queue, will have the most complex transaction possible
Sent by Sent by Sharad Bhandari
A law about websites:
The more important it is to get to a website, the greater the chance the server is down.
Sent by Sent by wolfram
And on the eighth day God said;"O.K. Murphy, you take over!
Sent by Robert A. Silvestri
Larry Niven's summary of Murphy's Law:
The perversity of the universe tends to a maximum.
Sent by Kevin Boland
The road to success is always under construction
By Anton Figg (?) and never forget O'Toole's Corollary or
Sod's Law or
McGillicuddy Law
Murphy was an optimist
Well, there are a lot of people who think he was an optimist, aren't there?
Or in other words:
someone else always seems to get the credit for your work.
The harder you work the more people there will be to claim credit except when it backfires.
You get all the credit for the dumb move.
Murphy was an extreme optimist!
Says Charles L. Mays
And we'll end this page with something optimistic (don't hit me).
Don't worry about Murphy's Law, you know it's gonna happen anyway, so just get on with it and get it over with!
Sent by Ruth Beaty
The humor of Murphy's Law leaves you laughing at the end of the day.
If you make it through a Murphy Day...you win!
Edited by chemamr on 08/19/06 - 06:56 AM
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| Cedrick
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There is hope after all
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| the_holy_man
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So true
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| chemamr
Moderator and PGY2
Topics: 703
Posts: 4,442
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If it looks good,
And it taste good,
And it feels good,
There has got to be something wrong some where,
So be careful.
jaja
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Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself.
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| chemamr
Moderator and PGY2
Topics: 703
Posts: 4,442
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Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
___________________
Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself.
|
| chemamr
Moderator and PGY2
Topics: 703
Posts: 4,442
|
Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.
___________________
Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself.
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| Cedrick
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 320
Posts: 1,928
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cool avatar
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