Dr.IMad
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 19
|
Hello to everyone here...i've been a silent participant of this forum for a long time now...n in my moment of darkness i felt that i needed to share my anguish with everyone...
I got my CK score today..200/81...it felt like a kick to my stomach...i couldnt imagine gettin this score...after my step 1(212/86) i felt that MAYBE i didnt study hard enough...I gave CK everything I had...I know Im not stupid or somethin...I got into MAMC,ND...but now I have begun to doubt my abilities...maybe I am stupid or maybe Im just not a good test-taker...I dunno...
I sat down with a pack of smokes n thought bout everything which had led me to this point...I thought of how much I studied,n how desperately I wanted a great score...about all the time I thought I was better than the ppl who had given the CK with just 2 months of studies...n how I had given it 5 months...about how ppl managed a 99 with 2 months n how I just got 81...
Its a baaaad feeling to get...I wish none of You have to go through this turmoil of doubting who & how good you are...I see my patients n Im good to them,never treating them the way "some" doctors treat them..viz as if they are a burden...I ask allah,"have i been bad to someone?have I done something wrong?do i deserve to go through this?"...Even though I had started preparing my list a long time back,whenever i saw the recquirements, i never imagined myself less than 90 in step 2...looks like il have to revise that...
n maybe Im in the Denial phase of DABDA...hows that for self-diagnosis?
to everyone reading this,i think that all i can say is..."we mortals can plan all we can,but its allah who has the best plan"...
btw...this is not the only setback im facing right now...my visa has been put under "administrative processing"...a soft term used by the US embassy to run a background check on me,coz my name clashed with someone on their "list"...sorry if im dripping with sarcasm,but its the only feeling i have left for a system which needs us yet places these obstacles in front of us...give us a break man...
|
| doc_droc_apurva
Forum Guru
Topics: 38
Posts: 1,705
|
may the force be with u.. tuf times dont last. tuf ppl do..
___________________
Aut Invenam Viam Aut Faciam
|
| radhika_11
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 4
|
hi there...i am in a tighter spot than you are and can understand what you are going through cos these are precisely my thoughts...self diagnosis.
but for myself i know theres no looking back so i guess its easier, i just have to go on with the ordeal of the cs and the applications and the match and God knows what else.
not in a position to advice but this is what i feel- your exam scores dont make you a bad doc and aint that what we wanted when we started the journey...be a nice doctor!
all the best and dont doubt yourself cos you know who you are and let the world see it!
|
| katzung
Forum Guru
Topics: 73
Posts: 579
|
81 and 86 are not at all bad scores you still can get into very decent IM/Peads/Neurology/PSych/FM programmes with that score,all you need will be uslors or externship experience.
Try and get ur step-2 cs and step-3 out of the way by next match u will do well.
goodluck.
___________________
Hari Om,Lokaha Samasthaha Sukhino Bhavanthu
(Let All Beings Everywhere Be Happy And Content)
Proud to be an Indian.
|
| chemamr
Forum Hero
Topics: 703
Posts: 4,461
|
a score of an exam doesn't say anything about your abilities as a physician.
i had a similar situation with one of my steps, i don't care any longer, it's past. let's move on and do other things as katzung suggests.
good luck buddy
the darkest moment is just before the light of day.
___________________
Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself.
|
| Dr.IMad
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 19
|
thanks guys...ur words have made a lotta difference...thats the first sentence i've spoken since my result that wasnt sarcastic...
i do have a query tho..katzung,wat did u mean by "next match"..u meant 2007 right?there's still time i think...i might cut it a little close,but im still gonna try...
i aint done yet...im still gonna fight for my spot..
"wherever it might take me,i know that life wont break me.."-robbie williams,angels
|
| katzung
Forum Guru
Topics: 73
Posts: 579
|
yes by next match i mean 2007 match goodluck.
___________________
Hari Om,Lokaha Samasthaha Sukhino Bhavanthu
(Let All Beings Everywhere Be Happy And Content)
Proud to be an Indian.
|
|
| |
| | | | | | | |
