coolsuch
Forum Senior
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Hi Novak75,
How are you doing?I know you are in the same study group as I am in but am doing really bad.
It was first time I read your journail and I thought to myself this is so much like me.Your journal is really motivating me to get up and keep going,although I keep going back and forth with the chapters. I really like your honesty. keep going .One step at a time and you never know when you reached your aim and You will.
Hope you keep encouraging us.I am glad to have you in the group.
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| keepgoing
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 72
Posts: 1,976
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Hi novak75!
where r u buddy?today i read ur diary for 1st time and im like oh my gosshh we all think and feel alike...believe me or not when we study with the person who shares too much in common is really a relief and motivation in itself...and i see u r not active these days at support forum and ur diary was feeling bit lonely as well and we miss u in our group and wonder where u have gone??and hope u must be doing it finally with all motivation determination and Perseverance we all need to get going...!
loads of luck! enjoy studying!
dont abandon the forum...keep ur promise that u will visit forum once a week
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"Deh Shiva Var Mohe Ahey ,Shubh Karman Te Kabhun Na Tarun ,Na Darun Arson Jab Jaye Laroon, Nischey Kar Apni Jeet Karoon"
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
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thank you friends, thank you so much for visiting my journal, I am happy to say I AM BACK!, jeje, I will post soon on the study group!
Bye
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| vallia
Forum Guru
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welcome back Novak, nice to have you here again. how is the study going, keep us posted
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| indidoc1
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welcome back novak. u r gonna b "in d zone" soon. just keep at it.. n keep us posted. GL buddy
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"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!" ~ Henry Ford
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
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Hi everyone!
April, .....April...., I read my diary tonight, and first I was angry because I wasn't going to make it to 2007 match, I was supposed to start studying in Feb, I wrote a start date in April, and then another in July, I mean, I don't get it, it is ridiculously pathetic or undetermined of myself, I am without words, I am so dissappointed in me, right now.
I only have 9 WEEKS, to the exam, it is December and my EXTENDED elegibility period ends Feb 28.
I had 8, eight perfectly, gorgeous, lenghty, 8 months, 8, since I started this journal to study for step 1, and now I am down to 9 WEEKS, and I haven't finished not even the first read of one complete subject!!!
Who am I kidding, what am I doing?
I have to ask myself if this is what I really want, because even do I say YES, I do completely the opposite. I have managed to waste almost 5 years in thinking, wishing, dreaming, saying that I want to start studying for USMLE and I've taken baby steps towards this goal, one of them joining this great forum, the other one paying for dvd's, books, then finally paying for the exam, asked for an extention of elegibility period, and now it ends in 9 WEEKS, and I am just the same way as I started.
It is even embarassing, I feel almost like I am not having respect for all of you who are being determined, and against all odds, work, family, etc, are still studying and moving forward, and I am worst than ever before.
I can't continue writting right now, I am very dissapointed, sad and angry with myself, and I don't want to bring anyone down.
MY SINCERE RESPECT AND ADMIRATION TO EVERYONE IN THE FORUM WHO IS ONE STEP CLOSER OF ACHIEVING THEIR DREAM, THEIR GOAL. DON'T HESITATE, DON'T DISPAIR, AND GOD WILLINGLY EVERYONE WILL ACHIEVE THEIR GOAL!!!
GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
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| keepgoing
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 72
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novak wrote"MY SINCERE RESPECT AND ADMIRATION TO EVERYONE IN THE FORUM WHO IS ONE STEP CLOSER OF ACHIEVING THEIR DREAM, THEIR GOAL. DON'T HESITATE, DON'T DISPAIR, AND GOD WILLINGLY EVERYONE WILL ACHIEVE THEIR GOAL!!!
GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!"""
thanks novak!!!....dont disheartn we all living same life dont look back juz stay focused!:cheers:
get set n go.....
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"Deh Shiva Var Mohe Ahey ,Shubh Karman Te Kabhun Na Tarun ,Na Darun Arson Jab Jaye Laroon, Nischey Kar Apni Jeet Karoon"
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| bordetella
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 39
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NOVAK ,as I wrote in my journal to u...JUST STAY FOCUSED THIS TIME & PRAY ,DO UR BEST IN THE 8 WEEKS LEFT & LEAVE THE REST TO GOD!!!
I am with u ,I also procastinated a hell lot,I read ur journal this morning & believe me I also think I had 5 whole mths that are alas GONE now,I did finish my 1st & part of my 2nd read in the past 5/6 mths.THANKS ALLAH...but I cud have done my best, I cud have worked the same way as I am doing now,v hard that is...& wud have easily taken my exam on my v 1st date which was the 29th dec'06.
BUT ...Novak,this all was not meant to be this way,perhaps wasn't written in my [ur ]fate...So I guess the best thing that has happened that u realised its late now..so dear friend just DO it this time,we all are in the same boat,some lil closer to their destiny,some still struggling...Just remember not to back off ,as I said ITS EITHER NOW OR NEVER!!
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| womanonamission
Forum Newbie
Topics: 5
Posts: 37
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Hey Novak75 .. dont beat yourself down. Just brush yourself off and start again. No one is a looser until they give up. and don't you give up my friend. atleast you can say your tried your hardest and then fell down ... dont let it be that you just gave up. Listen I am gona take my exam around feb end too. I have only dont biochem. and most of which I am sure I forgot because i took a long 1 month break from really studying. prior to which I was full steam ahead.
so listen. just start. dont say..il do it tomorrow.. dont say I have time. cuz once you start you realize you have lot to do.
just do it. just start. I am sure once you do. You will realize you can do it. It may have been years...but dont listen to society.. dont think about the embarressment ...just look straight and ahead...and do it.
put everyone and everything else out of your mind. this is just you and your books. if you need to...reflect on the time..long time ago...when you had that passion to learn...to be a physician...and come back to that time and you will move on. We all face mountains...its just how we deal with it. its not late. just get up and do it. get out of the house and stop making the excuses.
forgive me if i am coming off rude...but this is what i do to myself too... i fall into periods of laziness...and this is how i kick my butt too. you can do it. you did it in med school. you can do it now. just focus.
good luck buddy
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
Topics: 3
Posts: 399
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Wow, it's been a while since I posted here in my journal.
First of all thank you so much to everyone who has posted here, and thank you for your words of encouragement, focus, keepgoing, bordetela, and many others, womanonamission, love your nick, and no you are not rude, you say it as it is and that is good.
I started this journal in april 06, I remember I read 1 to 8 chapters of immno with the study group last year, and right now I started almos 2 weeks ago and I am in chapter 6 of biochem.
I will try to post here also more frecuently to see if that gets me going.
I am starting to realize that I am a little of afraid to do the residency, I mean, aren't we all a little a afraid, but I noticed that the first thing that I told my doctor, cause I went yesterday to see an angiologist, ended up having sclerotherapy and laser in my leg to treat a varicose vein that was painfull, and the first thing I mentioned is that with my bad legs and my awfull back, how am I going to endure the physical stress of residency.
Right now I can't go to the supermarket without needing to lean forward cause my back hurts because of the scoliosis, and lumbar hernias, etc, and now my leg hurts a lot more than it did before the sclerotherapy so, I try not to think about this, and I say to myself that I also have a year to try not only to train myself psycologically and reading for the exams, but that I also have a year to prepare physically and that if I start exercising and reading right I can do it, I mean, I am sure there are people with real disabelities out there and that don't complain as much as me and they find of way to overcome their obstacles and accomplish there dreams.
So, enough, I only need to get through the first year, right?, if unfortunately I can't make it physically, I can get a back operation in the US, I can pursue an MPH or preventive medicine or other things that won't be as hard physically as a residency in the US I just neet to get these exams done, and start a residency.
I owe it to myself, my Mom, my Dad, my brother, it has been my life long dream, even when I was in junior high school I knew I wanted to study in the US, I need to be able to help my parents finantially I need to help my brother, I need this, I want this, so I am getting it, and nothing, not even the pain in my back or my leg is going to stop me, and I know with the support of all my friends in this forum I am going to get through this one and for all.
God bless everyone!
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| keepgoing
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 72
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welcome novak !i juz raed ur jounel,in afternoon i missed coz i was in hurry as usual..but now before retiring i thot to go thru and noticed urs...im happy that u hv started ur prep diary again.. dont worry honey....its really painful to see u in such condition but u r strong...see advices given to u at our study forum....yes keeping a journal.....we all are with u...
love&huggs
Edited by keepgoing on 02/15/07 - 11:13 AM
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"Deh Shiva Var Mohe Ahey ,Shubh Karman Te Kabhun Na Tarun ,Na Darun Arson Jab Jaye Laroon, Nischey Kar Apni Jeet Karoon"
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| womanonamission
Forum Newbie
Topics: 5
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hope your enjoying studying
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| sss sss
Forum Senior
Topics: 8
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ok, so i didnt know you had a journal, so how is your health, happy to hear that you will be resuming your studying on tuesday, well just wanted to encourage you, hang in there,you will be fine, good luck
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
Topics: 3
Posts: 399
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 Good afternoon or Good night almost 
Ok, so I know I have said it many many times before but TODAY I start, like a good friend of mine told me, START at list one page a day but start, so here I go and this time I won't stop until I get to the exam!
It is 6:50 p.m. so I imagine that after writting here It would be 7:00 p.m. when I start....
THURSDAY MARCH 01 2007
Chapter 6 Biochemistry (Lectures and Video)
I will try to post daily or very often to keep up with my progress.
May God help us to focus and to sincerely work hard without hesitation and with love of what we do to accomplish our life's goals so that we can fulfill our destiny and help others in these wonderful and rewarding and giving career that we have chosen, our vocation to be physicians.
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
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FINISHED CHAPTER 6!!
Tomorrow chapter 7 and 8
Good night!
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| keepgoing
Forum Fanatic
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good pal keep it going and do report in here daily...
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"Deh Shiva Var Mohe Ahey ,Shubh Karman Te Kabhun Na Tarun ,Na Darun Arson Jab Jaye Laroon, Nischey Kar Apni Jeet Karoon"
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
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Posts: 399
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Thank you very much keepgoing for dropping by and chearing for me
I finished reading chapter 7 today and half of the video, tomorrow is Saturday and I only have to do some laundry and go to the store, after that I have all day, so hopefully will finish chapter 8 and 9 tomorrow!!!
Good night!
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leave the old behind—leave behind old behavior, old thinking, old words.
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| womanonamission
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good job novak75....its better to do something than nothing. .... i am currently living in the library as much as i can. It is easier and better for me to study at home..but i do not trust myself there so i am in library. however tomorrow i may try home... ANYWAY,, just wanted to encourage you to do it ONE DAY AT A TIME... do not think about what u have to do ..and how hard it is and all...just focus on small goals and focus on the day at hand..and at the end of the day be thankful that you got to finish that. and you can feel more acomplished when u make small goals. anyway, i am trying to tell myself the same thing... so hope it works for u. enjoy studying buddy.
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| tolito
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 119
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while going thro what i wrote earlier on i had such strong emotions i cannot even describe them. i look at the date and i try to remember what it was like studying for step 1. it is almost a blank.
what is the purpose of my saying that? no condition in life is permanent. things look hard at the moment but theywill improve. also, there is always something just out of our reach that we are longing for. we are forever dreaming. but guess what, only those who dream achieve great heights. i am dreaming of matching in ortho surgery. i am dreaming of high things. i will not be discouraged. i will press on till i reach my goal.
novak, you can do it. set your heart to it. this will surely pass away. so many people have gone this route and have overcome it. you will do the same. so press on, carry on, dont delay. and JUST DO IT.
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| drbin
Forum Guru
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U r a hero (or heroine!!!), Novak. there are so many of us in this forum studying with dreams, but i guess only very few are as determined as u......among all these hardships......im sure u will be greatly rewarded friend, just hang on and evenif u do only few lines a day, do it well. Dont ever loose ur hope. well tolito, its long time after u left this step 1 forum, great to hear from u again. hope u finished all ur steps with flying colours.
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| keepgoing
Forum Fanatic
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yes where are u novak??hows u doing?juz wondering where u gone hope all is fine with ur health as well..!
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"Deh Shiva Var Mohe Ahey ,Shubh Karman Te Kabhun Na Tarun ,Na Darun Arson Jab Jaye Laroon, Nischey Kar Apni Jeet Karoon"
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| new_n_lost
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keepgoing wrote:
yes where are u novak??hows u doing?juz wondering where u gone hope all is fine with ur health as well..!
Me too Where r u Novak Havent Seen u in a long While I hope everything is fine n great.
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| mytime
Go Marching in!
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Posts: 3,178
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Calfornia was when we last heard........u better be back now or
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
Topics: 3
Posts: 399
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Hello Journal, Hello everyone!!
First, thank you, thank you to everyone who has dropped by this journal and taken the time to write motivational and encouraging things.
I won't start this journal as other times, complaining and focusing on what I haven't done or what I should have done, I am pass that, I am still in the struggle, still in this path, will follow it till the end no matter what!
Regarding Health, my leg doesn't hurt anymore, so that is a plus, my back hurst a lot, but I haven't lost weight, my BMI is just .4 points away from obesity so I am hoping once I get the weight off my back will not hurt as much, or at list I will be able to stand through a surgery.
In my job I try not to do procedures like sutures or for example...taking a toe nail off, because of the position my back hurts a lot, but today I did 2 pap smears and MY BACK HURT! , I got worried because it had never hurt with that kind of procedures! It was an eye opener, so I will start doing stationary bycicle tomorrow!
Friday is my last day at work, I am taking 2 months off work so that I can prepare for step 1 full time and I will stop having any excuses for not preparing.
I started this journal in april 2006 and I don't want to be in April 2008 writting the same things and saying and complaining that I haven't prepared for step 1 , so this is it for me!
My progress:
 Read Immuno (about 14 chapters) last year, I know because I have my notes highlated, I am going to do the quick review with the rest of group at the main thread.
Finished biochemistry (I think 1 or 2 weeks ago), I have to do a quick review because I don't remember much, yeesh!
Started Genetics, second chapter, but I am going to leave it for a while so that I can do immuno with the group, hope to get back to it soon.
That's it!
I read aim99's post in the main thread, he/she (I am still confused on the gender of some because I was away for so long, sorry) wrote that he knew someone who had done step 1 in 2.5 months and scored hi, this is what helped me decide to do this, to take time off and go for it, like I mentioned in other posts, I have been thinking, saying, that I want to prepare and do this exam and never get to it, not really, not in form, so instead of doing the same thing over and over again, I have decided that I work better with pressure, and instead of having 6 or 8 full months to study (which I've had and didn't use them), I will give myself from now until August to do the exam!!!
I have started this journal with such motivation other times, I just hope this time is it, I am tired, really tired of writting the same things, the same excuses, so like Jaide (I think once wrote), it is not enough to want something you have to hunger for it, so thank you everyone for putting up with me and supporting me in this.
Today, and tomorrow I have to finish all the paper work so that I can take the 2 months off, so I won't hit the books, and I have to grade the final exams that I just gave to my students, so hope to be back in track by Friday, oh no no, Friday I have a work lunch, but Friday night will be back hitting the books!
God bless, and hope everyone is doing fine and persuing their dreams!!! Good luck!
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| Novak75
Forum Senior
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Can't remember who wrote it: But I need to remember:
"It is not what you say, wish, hope or intend- it is only what you do that counts."
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leave the old behind—leave behind old behavior, old thinking, old words.
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