aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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Here is my story ,my struggle with USMLE
Today im starting this journal out of sheer depression and lack of confidence ive posted some posts earlier trying to motivate others but today i feel so frustrated and dumb  i've been trying to study on and off for the past whole year but wasn't serious i would do great one day but than won't even touch the books next few days as a result i dont remember any thing i read .i have to give this exam before Aug but with this progress i fear if i wuld ever be able to give it .i did my Physio from brs which i like and culd read and understand easily but when i started doing questions i felt i wasnt getting the graphs and figs. so itried using kaplan. i cried for 2 hours this morning i spent the whole day yesterday trying to understand those stupid curves in resp.system and now i cant remember even going through them i was never like this i was a good student in med school though i'm not used to studying for months i wuld just study one or 2 days before the exam and do good no one believed me guess that way of studying is costing me now my brain doesn't retain info for long .
aaaah !feel like giving it all up .i'm not gonna do physio now i dont care .cant even look at that book .
i wuld try doin patho today not setting a target for today i have a headache from all that crying wuld try making a schedual for patho from tomorrow inshallah (any suggestions)
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| tolito
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 119
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hey aliya, dont give in. you have made the proper decision to do the exam in order to move on and God will help you. first, i do not know how many years since you graduated but believe me it is not the same as when in med school. in med school we were carefree. we just studied cos our parents expected it of us. we attended lectures cos there was nothing else to do. we could not care much what our scores were so long as we passed. now here we are, we are desperate cos we NEED to pass the same exam in order to have a life. a life that revolves around being a doctor. a life we have always taken for granted. so the exam attains a different meaning. for some of us, we need it to get visas to stay in america, for others we need it to get a job to sustain the family, for all of is it is a means to a better life. we have either left our home country or intend to do so. so do not be discouraged.  what you are going thro now is natural. we all go thro it at some point or the other. some people are beter able to manage it than others. remember, the successful person is the one who finishes the race. not so much what his position is. that is why you see athletes get off the ground and virtually drag themselves to the finishing line.
now let us get practical. drop whatever topic is giving you a headache and pick up one that you like. what ever text you use, you will still need to get back to kaplan. kaplan is very short on explanation so if you do not have the dvd it will be pretty tough studying with it alone. after having read kaplan a second time on the topic, answer the questions you will find that you will do well. you will still need to return to the subject that frustrated you but you will be in a better frame of mind to read it. i am talking from experience if you read thro my journal you will find my frustrations there at various times. i had problems with micro but i ahve got the right books and i am feeling better so i will go back and read it, same thing i had probs with behav, i went back and read it. neuro almost killed me but i conquered it eventually.
be encouraged. you can do it. just be calm and relaxed.
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| aliya2003
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Posts: 24
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Thanks tolito!
your encouragment means alot  i'm feeling much better now talked to my mother today it's amazing how moms know when there kids are down i had just finished posting my whinnin' when she called .i did 2 1/2 chapters of patho today not much but its something .My husband came home today saw my cried out face he got hold of my physio book and tried to figure out the calculations and graphs for me he has no medical experience it was sooo funny him trying to explain the pressure/vol curves and calculations  i'm sooo lucky to have such a supporting hubby and all of you on this forum are such an inspiration i wish i had found this forum sooner i wuld have been done with this so "beast " by now .but tomorrow is a new day i'll just have to suck it up no more excuses i can do it Inshallah
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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Thanks tolito!
your encouragment means alot i'm feeling much better now talked to my mother today it's amazing how moms know when there kids are down i had just finished posting my whinnin' when she called .i did 2 1/2 chapters of patho today not much but its something .My husband came home today saw my cried out face he got hold of my physio book and tried to figure out the calculations and graphs for me he has no medical experience it was sooo funny him trying to explain the pressure/vol curves and calculations i'm sooo lucky to have such a supporting hubby and all of you on this forum are such an inspiration i wish i had found this forum sooner i wuld have been done with all of this by now .but tomorrow is a new day i'll just have to suck it up no more excuses i can do it Inshallah
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| hodgkins
Forum Elite
Topics: 3
Posts: 293
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Thats very true aliya2003, mothers know it, but how , that we dont know..mothers always, feel us instantaneously, its really amazing..I too receive a call or message right time as my tears still running down on my cheeks, so I will not pick up the phone rightaway, I amke sure I sound okie to her..because she is very sensitive to my voice change,,still she catches me I know...but later I feel so good and happy, I think that is why God made mothers I guess..
Good going..aliya, All the best
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WE CAN DO IT..!!!
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| tolito
Forum Fanatic
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good for you aliya. yes mums are the best. keep it up. we will continue the struggle unil victory is ours. this is by far the worst exam but we will persevere.
GL.
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| fruit
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Topics: 1
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aliya2003 u r doing good! U'll succeedGL
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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Thanks for ur support hodgkins,tolitoand fruit hope all of u r doin good with u'r studies .
today i did most of general patho from BRS but left the longest chapter IMMUNEDYSFUNCTION
will do it tomorrow inshallah and start with systemic pathology.dont think i remember much of what i read today esp all the genetic disorders . also did 50 q's scored only 61% but a few q's i missed just because i was trying to rush through them in the end oh well old habbits die hard i think web path q's are easier than q bank ??so 61% may mean even lower on q bank
plan on getting q bank this weekend i do have the paper version want the online one those thick books with small print scare me also many q's are repeated in diff sections maybe printing error
thanks again everyone happy studying
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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dear diary,
i'm very disappointed with myself today .got up late cuz of cough and sore throat and my whole schedual got thrown off started haematology culdnt finish leukemias my brain feels so saturated maybe pregnancy is making me even slower .cant afford any set backs need to finish patho this week bad day today bad bad day
tonight i'll try to do some q's
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| tolito
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 119
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oh poor you. never mind being sick today. tomorrow will be a better day.
i found this thread very enlightening. it may help you in planning your studies
http://www.prep4usmle.com/forum/thread/30882
GL
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| suma
Forum Junior
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aliya dont worry,we r all with u,keep the best u can............
HAPPY STUDYING
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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Thanks tolito and suma. tolito the link is really helpful thanks again.
well did 50 q's last night from gen.patho got 67%
today do some more q's
complete blood and start with cvs have to do some cooking today too dont know how much i'll get done 
Today recieved an email from an old classmate he was an average student in medschool got 95 in step 1 wow! told me if he culd do it i culd too .but he studied seriously for 6 months can i do it in 3
well its true slow and steady wins the race.hopefully one day i 'll have my own success story ( as slow as i am )need to learn to stay steady
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| 26malik
Forum Guru
Topics: 39
Posts: 429
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Dear Aliya. I pray that you get well soon and get back to studies. Dont let one bad day ruin your plans. Rest. Get better. you will than cover everything. inshallah
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There is always hope
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| 26malik
Forum Guru
Topics: 39
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HI
HOPE YOU ARE FINE
KEEP FOCUSED AND GO STEADY. INSHALLAH ALL OBSTACLES IN YOUR WAY WILL VANISH
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There is always hope
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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Hi everyone,
well back again weekend was a total waste culdnt finish patho but started micro .i started to panic doing one subject for such a long time with not much positive results .
Hopefully a new subject will help improve my speed .this has always been a problem for me i tend to loose focus after a while .Today im gonna do bacteriology from micro and complete male female reproductive systems in patho .lets hope i get most of the work done today .Any thing wuld be better than nothing
Thanks 26 malik for ur prayers i'm doin much better now ALHAMDULLILAH .u r right there is always hope.u r such an inspiration .May ALLAH bless u with success in everything u do
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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ok last 2 days i read micro like crazy dont know if i remember all the info but atleast some of it is processing that's ok with me .
today have to complete viruses and fungi hopefully be done with MRS by tomorrow or midday friday.
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| 26malik
Forum Guru
Topics: 39
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yes aliya, we can just hope that something sticks in our mind. as this stuff is most volatile. and i hate fungi and parasites as i cant get the bloody names. thank god there are not that many to learn. thanks for your post in my diary. i found it highly usefull .
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
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Micro is almost done (or atleast my book is full of markings and highlights )took very long breaks today need to focus
viruses are slowing me down as usual last few chapters are always a drag
tomorrow i'll have to finish micro somehow .
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| tolito
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 119
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yes i know how micro is. i am also reading it too. i just got to viruses and i am taking a break till tomorrow. i ahve so many jottings in so many categories, i wonder if i will remember them all. but we will continue to struggle.
keep on trucking
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| aliya2003
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Posts: 24
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well got up late this morning had severe backache last night culd hardly sleep .Another downside of pregnancy ok today i had to complete micro hopefully i can do it dont want to b harsh on my poor back or i wont b able to get up tomorrow.
tolito i found ur post in 26 malik's journal .i have made afew charts myself but u have given me couple of good ideas +MRS gives some new info in its charts that is not in the text so i shuld add that too .Thanks and good luck with ur studies
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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Back again feel so bad didnt study a thing on saturday we were out "house hunting" all day .yesterday did some micro and patho finally micro is done (2 chapters of antibiotics still left:)
while i was doin antifungals and antibacterials in micro i realised i've been puttin off pharma for along long time .well i have to start reading it someday think i'll mix it up with anatomy just doin pharma is too dry.ok so today i'll start with upper limb and give areading to first 2 pharma chapters
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| tolito
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am glad you found some useful stuff i wrote. i have dumped micro cos it was taking so much time. and i still had the big path to do. i am happy with my studies thou i did not score well in qbank but i know what is expected. that is why i started those lists and charts.
good luck with your househunting and pregnancy.
we are expecting 2 babies. cannot wait to hear the good news of both exams and baby from you both.
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| dipti
Forum Elite
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hey aliya,whenevr i read people like you doing theirr duties on so many fronts i feel so small !!!you are doing good ,good luck!!i know how exausting househunting is....and you doing with little one........oh,you people are really setting examples for me
if you are solving questions with subjects that will definately help you.
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| aliya2003
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 24
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Thanks tolito and Dipti for ur support:
well started pharma yuk! it was the worst subject in 3rd year of med school .i've started with autonomic drugs .the thing is my brain says u cant remember all these drugs so why bother i keep staring at the pages blankly dont know if any thing is registring
i read on another post on this forum that we shuld do a bit of pharma each day and keep revising and praying each day that it does stick in some corner of the brain .
Yeah dipti ! house hunting is very exausting .now i realize we have it so easy back home everything is taken care of by our parents here we have to make all the decisions ourselves so much to do in such a short amount of time .
oh well back to studying now .happy studying everyone
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| dfaru2k5
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
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hey that looks like my story too.even i have been preparing for a yr now and will b writing my 2nd attempt in aug/sept.lets c wat happens.inshallah everything will b alrite!dont lose hope like me.
anyways takecare
bye!
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