dr.mf
Forum Newbie
Topics: 7
Posts: 15
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hi guys!
i graduated 2 years ago.i am in usa now.
i am a mother of 18 month old kid , i am preparing for step 1 & want to give it in august-sep 2006 but i don't know i think i have lost the energy to do so, actually my kid sleeps late at night(2-3a.m) so i have difficulty in waking up early for studies then there is no one around me who can help , somehow i am managing to go to library for 2 hours daily when my husband come back from his job , i am so depreesed that i can not give 5-7 hours daily for my studies & i don't know i think i am energyless now because whenever i try to study i feel sleepy i don't know what to do i know that with this routine its difficult to pass the exam please give me some useful practical advices about my time management & sleep problem.
thanks.
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| dr.mf
Forum Newbie
Topics: 7
Posts: 15
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guys? what happened no advices for me?
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| female doc ny
Forum Senior
Topics: 15
Posts: 169
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my daughter is the same she is 2 let me suggest something are you taking b complex pills they really help with the concentration and energy also coffe i know but it works also what i am doing now is that i picture my daughter when i study it gives me motivation the best thing to do is to wake up at 7 study until your daughter awakes which will probably be noon b/c she goes to sleep so late and take a nap with your child later on and study when your husband comes home maybe you should try in the bedroom like give 4 hours. but before u do all this maybe you should change your childs sleep schedule it will take about one week to do so put your baby to bed at 9 close the lights and the door to the room and stay with her beside her cribe sit on the floor and wait for her to fall asleep at first she will scream their head of but you have to be calm and do not sooth themm b/c u know that the child isn't hurt or hungry he or she is just crying b/c they dono want to sleep the chilkd will fall asleep tired of crying i know it is hard but believe me its a must for her health and your own and u repeat this every night and beleive me from 1 hr it will go down to 30 mins to 10 mins only if u stick to the schedule rmember behavioral science a child learns faster with continious stimuli like u puting the child to bed turning off the lights this tells them that it si bed time no matter what i suggest u try this first if u cannt then the other one but remember the sooner u get into residency the sooner u finish to be home with you child
good lucks all the moms out there need it
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| dr_neonatology
Forum Senior
Topics: 11
Posts: 66
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I am a father to 2 children, working for the all day in my research. I am facing the same problem. So, I might manage to get 2 hours earlier in morning before they wake up, then 2 hours at night after their bedtime. It is better than nothing... you husband must share 2 hours with your kid allowing you to take a rest.... We are like machines.. we must be maintained, otherwise, we will expire from trea and wear..
Best wishes for you.. and to be late is better than to be absent.
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| zzzz
Forum Elite
Topics: 9
Posts: 167
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i read your story & the advice to from another mom or doc.she is absulutely right chane your kid's sleeping habit i have three kids 6,3,&2 year old & also preparing for the exam when i had only one child i had the sasme problem but then i realized that i m becoming fool by my daughter & then i decided to change her routine first day what you have to do wake her up early at least 2 to 3 hr before her regular time then put her on bed again for nap around noon time & plz let her sleepby her own just feed her enough before sleep & then put her in bed close the door come out of room child's cry tells you whether it is for you or b/c of some real problem dont go in the room for five min then go & say her go to seep & then get out of the room do this 2 to 3 times 7 your child will sleep by her self don't be scared of her cry she is ok then wake her up around 3;30 & keep her busy let her play so she will be tired & then put her on bed around 8 & do the same thing you did in day time I bet you not more then a week she will be trained .this is my personal experiace now all my three kids sleep at 8 by their own without waking up in the night time. once she will be set you can make your schdual for study. i ho[pe this will help you & yesvisit these sites they are very helpful in raising kids.baby center.com or parent center.com.
good luck
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| malinda
Forum Guru
Topics: 162
Posts: 654
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I am a total failure in putting a routine for my child.I tried doing that but all in vain.I used to wake up at 6 with him in the morning,made break fast for my husband and myself,used to feed my son,then after my husband went to his office,I tried to let my son play with his toys while I tried to study.But every 5 or 10 minutes,one reason or another,I had to get up and check on him.Sometimes he will bang his head against the wall,sometimes he will open the kitchen cabinet and start eating all the things on the floor..sometimes he will crawl into tiny corners and stuck himself there.Other times he will cry like hell for no obvious reason.I will read one line from the book,he will cry,I will get up and beleive me some times the whole day passed with me reading just that one line over and over again.He will go to sleep only once during the day normally,but to study,I will let him go to sleep 2 or 3 times a day and sometimes 1 hour long naps,so that I could just finish a topic.But those 8 hours at home with my son passed between,his bottles,his dispers,his naps,his crying spells,his little stunts and my getting up from my chair every 5 minutes to see some thing new happened..In the evening my husband will come back home,I will put dinner on table,feed the kid,now my husband takes over..I go to my room and every half and hour I hear my son crying and my husband trying his best to calm him down...Its just that even the baby crying is so much distraction for me...I will get up again and go out to ask my husband why he is crying.My son will go to bed at 10 or 11ish as he over slept during the day,and then my husband has to go to his office the next day,so I will go to his crib every time my son cries(which was usually every hour or so)bcz he over slept in the day time.After waking up almost the whole night after every half an hour to feed the baby,I had to start the routine again next morning..So I used to be totally exhauseted,totally drained,and sleep deprived.I tried to concentrate but I just could not!!!
So I talked to my hsband and although we had pretty tight finances,we some how had to send him to the day care..very emotional for me.many many hard times while he was there..so much guilt,so much regrets...but I got full 8 hours to study in the library.There was a good indian woman in our block who will take care of our son some days too.I used to pay her for that.
For me studying with my son at home didnot work.I sent my son to day care for 5 months.and finally I wrote my exam on 9th of march.I dont think it was possible without taking that step.Without help from family,you cant do it.I dont think so.
Another thing,in this country,your husband and you have to work together.I am so blessed that my husband worked with me like a partner and in the last month,my son was completely his responsibilty.I didnot cook.I didnot clean.I didnot change a single diaper.I didnot feed a single bottle to my son.It was all his daddy.So talk to your husband to help you with the baby.I wonder how many many moms on this forum made it happen..I am so proud of them.But without my husband's help,without sending my son to the day care,I could assure so so badly...I would have been still studying for step one and may be many years to come,I had been doing that.What I gained in those 5 months when my son went to the day care, is far more than what I gained for the rest of the year when he was with me at home.I just hope its all worth it.this feeling kills me.I am not scared of failing ,not working hard again.I am scared of the fact that bcz of me my son had to go through so many days without me with total strangers,my husband had to do things which were my responsibilties.I just hope I pass..
make wise decisions.I guess its worth doing that.and nothing comes without sacrifices in life.
___________________
I CAN DO IT.
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| OBO
Forum Senior
Topics: 10
Posts: 106
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I totally agree with all the above replies.Studying with kids is really hard and very frustrating .Dear dr.mf i myself didn't study when my kids are with me.I enjoy their company and rest when they rest.I study when my husband is back from job and on weekends [Thanks God i have a supporting husband]. And when my exam will come closer i will hire some baby sitter for them. And believe me the preparation for this exam is really demanding .You have to be in good physical and emotinal health to prepare for this exam. Taking care of a child itself is a full time, strenous and demanding job [but it is the best rewarding experince of life], it drain all your energy. My sincere advice is either hire some one [ if u can afford both financially and emotionally] for taking care of your child and take it lightly . Take out some specific hours for study when you are well rested and your child is taken care well. We cann't study the way we use to before getting married ever in our life again Becaue now we have other important responsibilities beside studying. But stay firm with little time u will be succesful too.
GL.
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| vallia
Forum Guru
Topics: 98
Posts: 889
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What I have learned about children is that they completely need you for everything, and you must take care of your child because you love him surely. But what is up to you is the schedule of the child so I think this is the first thing you need to do. i would say to wake up your child earlier in the morning let's say at 8 am,and put him for a nap at noon and at night put him in bed at around 9 o'clock,play for 15 minutes and then just turn off the lights and stay with him 10 minutes to confort him, talk to him slowly and calm and then say good night and leave the room. The child will surely cry a lot, will come after you but you must stay strong and put him again in the bed and be calm when you say good night again. I think you know that a child need a routine to feel secure so repeat these action every night, again and again. this way you will be free for study at least 2 hours in the evening. another point is that you need to make a real schedule of what you can do . Make small targets like I'm reading today one chapter of physiology, prepare the material in the morning , take the pen and the paper and not only read but write what is important. Stay at the desk and use every little minute when your child is calm and play alone. Play with him outside to make him feel tired and fall asleep earlier in the evening.
Do not feel descouraged , it's hard I know but you can do it if you are determined. what is important is that you USE the free time wisely. So don't waste this time. ask your husband to help you because you are doing this for you and your family also. If you get to study 4 hours a day I think it is enough for the beginning. in time you will get confidence in yourself and you'll see that everything you learned begin to make sense. do not underestimate you, do never say that you are not a good mother, you are doing this because you love him and your family and you want to raise him good to offer him the best in life.
and check this forum often, write a journal ,check what other moms and dads are doing, because you are not alone. there a plenty of mothers here and everyone is working hard to reach their dreams.
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| mitty
Forum Guru
Topics: 52
Posts: 376
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Hello dr.mf
i am a mother too.mine is 9 month old.I am preparing for step 1 like you.I do not send my baby to day care b/c we can not afford the fee.And I was in some situation like you emotionaly.
This is my advice.If you can not afford day care like me this is what you should do.
1) Stop complaining.
I used to complain too.I was complaining b/c I could not put 10 hours per day like most of the people.It didn't help but took my valuable time.Also I felt guilty when I steal time from my baby.
Then I stop complaining and start to enjoy my baby.Remember he is not going to be 18 month again.And if you can not send him to day care You are the only one he has.so put a smile on your face and enjoy your baby.
The moment I stoped worring and complaning I started to notice that my reading is getting better.
2) put your son in some routine.
You should put him to sleep early like 8-9pm so that you could get straight 4 hours.I couldn't use cry it out method b/c I can not hear him cring for more than 5 min.If you can do that that is great.other wise make him sleep by any means at 9.you can rock him or nurse him to sleep.
3) Get good sleep
I know that you want to go to bed after you put your baby to sleep b/c you are tired yourself.So either take nap at your babies afternoon nap or get uninterapted 1 hour sleep in the morning before your husband goes to work.
3) Read when your baby is getting his morning nap.That would be additional one hour of study.
you can get time atleast to do qbook when your baby is playing.For this to be practicalyou have to buy him very interesting toys.
So we get 6 hours per day.
4)Your husband should be the one who do the house hold work.You can not afford to spend time by cleaning and cooking.
The main thing is stop complaining.we are not the only one who have baby to take care and trying hard to do good in the exam.There are many who manage to get great result with 2-3 kids to take care.You have to accept the situation you are in and make programm which suites you.
You can do this.We can do this
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He will make it happen.
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| dr.mf
Forum Newbie
Topics: 7
Posts: 15
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hi guys!
thank you all for your great advices , i will definetly try to set a routine for my kid , &will try to study whenever i get a chance may be i will send my kid to day care as you guys have suggested , please pray for my success as i am really worried & thanks once again & good luck to you all.
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| alpha12
Forum Senior
Topics: 6
Posts: 70
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Very good advices. I can add this to Dr.mf:
1. Kids come first; before you know it, they'll be gone. Never sacrifice your kids for any reason. Take time to enjoy your child. Don't be pressured to take this exam. If I had a husband who can provide to our needs, I'd spend another 6-12 months with my son. Just make sure you don't get pregnant again before you're done with all your exams.
2. If you can afford it, send him to a daycare. Kids who go to a daycare grow up more open-minded than those who don't. They learn early how to share, how to treat other people with respect; they learn that they're not the center of the world. I'd send my son in a daycare for that reason. Not just because I have to pursue my dream.
3. Consider talking to your doctor and make sure you're not on a verge of a post-partum depression.
Your husband might not understand your mood swings. But if he knows that you're not just being a "bitch", but you're facing a serious medical problem he'll be more understanding and ready to help. He cannot expect you to take care of the house, the baby and studying hard so you can bring more money in the house. That's just too much for one person.
Talk with him, and seek medical help if necessary.
Just remember, whatever you do, you should put your child first.
___________________
Flex
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| alpha12
Forum Senior
Topics: 6
Posts: 70
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Very good advices. I can add this to Dr.mf:
1. Kids come first; before you know it, they'll be gone. Never sacrifice your kids for any reason. Take time to enjoy your child. Don't be pressured to take this exam. If I had a husband who can provide to our needs, I'd spend another 6-12 months with my son. Just make sure you don't get pregnant again before you're done with all your exams.
2. If you can afford it, send him to a daycare. Kids who go to a daycare grow up more open-minded than those who don't. They learn early how to share, how to treat other people with respect; they learn that they're not the center of the world. I'd send my son in a daycare for that reason. Not just because I have to pursue my dream.
3. Consider talking to your doctor and make sure you're not on a verge of a post-partum depression.
Your husband might not understand your mood swings. But if he knows that you're not just being a "bitch", but you're facing a serious medical problem he'll be more understanding and ready to help. He cannot expect you to take care of the house, the baby and studying hard so you can bring more money in the house. That's just too much for one person.
Talk with him, and seek medical help if necessary.
Just remember, whatever you do, you should put your child first.
___________________
Flex
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