Cordmd
Forum Elite
Topics: 15
Posts: 324
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Men Are Just Happier People- What else can you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas st ation restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your fac e stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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| Cordmd
Forum Elite
Topics: 15
Posts: 324
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Thought I'd add my comments - those are my husbands or basically what someone emailed to him -
If a man is studying for the MLE's - his wife/mother is there to look after him -
as a wife - I still look after the house and husband and study
Are men happier or what?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| alenka
Forum Elite
Topics: 22
Posts: 330
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lol
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| roopashri
Forum Elite
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Why I Love Mom
Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's
getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper
the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar
container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee
pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes
into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back
on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by
the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the
field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.
She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the
envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both
near her purse.
Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night
solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her
nails.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my way,"
she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made
sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.
She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and
TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and
had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next
day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most
important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the
accomplishment of her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in
particular. "I'm going to bed."
And he did...without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?
CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...and we can't die sooner, we
still have things to do!!!!)
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| ssrpk
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 154
Posts: 2,814
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Marvellous 
___________________
life is guud
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| drshabs
Forum Elite
Topics: 61
Posts: 205
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The man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT
>>The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP
>> >>The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
>> >>The woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP
. >> >>The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
>> >>The woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.
>> >>The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
>> >>The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
>> >>The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
>> >>The woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
>> >>The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY, >
> >>The woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
>> >>Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things...
>> >>While the women STUCK to shopping. >>
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| mjl1717
Forum Hero
Topics: 955
Posts: 5,451
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Great!- Man also invented electricity!
___________________
Smell the coffee! "Is That an Osler move??"
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| roopashri
Forum Elite
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Facts about boys and Girls!!
When a BOY is quiet,
He has nothing to say...
When a BOY is not arguing,
He is not in the mood of arguing...
When a boy looks at u with eyes full of questions,
He is really confused...
When a BOY answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds,
He is actually fine...
When a BOY stares at you,
He is either amazed or angry...
When a BOY lays in your lap,
He is wishing for you to be his forever...
When a BOY calls you everyday,
He is spending a lot of talk time to get your attention...
When a BOY sms's u everyday,
He is forwarding them...
When a BOY says I love you,
It's not the first time...
When a BOY says that he can't live without you,
He has made up his mind that you are his for at least a week.
Facts about a girl
When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.
When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that
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| ARJ
Forum Guru
Topics: 133
Posts: 792
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gr8
___________________
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." --Mahatma Gandhi
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| roopashri
Forum Elite
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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Perfect People It seems that this perfect man met this perfect woman and they got married. One day on December 24 they were driving down the road and they noticed a man stranded on the side of the road. This was no ordinary man, but it was Santa Claus. Being the perfect people that they were they offered Santa a ride because he was in a hurry to get his toys delivered. So the perfect man and perfect woman sped up to deliver Santa to his destination on time. Alas, the roads were slippery and the car got into an accident and 2 of the 3 people were killed. Can you guess who survived? _____________________________________________________________________ (answer below) Since Santa Claus and a Perfect Man are both myths...the perfect woman had to survive.
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| sturge_weber
Forum Guru
Topics: 77
Posts: 1,042
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great guys....
this is awesome....good Roopashri, good defense.. keep it up
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| roopashri
Forum Elite
Topics: 16
Posts: 190
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thanks sturge_weber
its nothing unusual for me... i do it daily with my husband  , i just argue for fun, i know we both need each other...
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| gogetit
Forum Senior
Topics: 39
Posts: 104
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Women
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you aren't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful.....WOMEN
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| vanshita
Forum Guru
Topics: 23
Posts: 824
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| chemamr
Moderator and PGY2
Topics: 703
Posts: 4,442
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Cordmd: very funny
___________________
Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself.
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| Cedrick
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 320
Posts: 1,928
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The true fact about us the guys
1.-Am I going to see something naked
2.-where is the beer
that is it
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| chemamr
Moderator and PGY2
Topics: 703
Posts: 4,442
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that's a good one Cedrick.
___________________
Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself.
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| Cedrick
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 320
Posts: 1,928
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Yes
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| Cedrick
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 320
Posts: 1,928
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Thanks
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,736
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How do you know when a man is lying?
His lips are moving.
___________________
bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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| amirhossein
Forum Guru
Topics: 57
Posts: 859
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___________________
All human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope
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| Cedrick
Forum Fanatic
Topics: 320
Posts: 1,928
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More please
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| Cordmd
Forum Elite
Topics: 15
Posts: 324
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Hav'nt been on the forum for a while and with an exam next week - this is crazy ( yeah - things happened...) So here goes...
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear
Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays
at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to
switch with mine for a day. Amen." God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose,
cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school
clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home
and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid
the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and
bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds,
do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with
them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he
did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded
laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and,
though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was
expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's
being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back." Amen. The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have
learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they
were.You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last
night."
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