usmlebuzz
Forum Elite
Topics: 93
Posts: 263
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>>1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
>>for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
>>leave me the hell alone.
>>
>>2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
>>leaky tire.
>>
>>3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
>>neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
>>
>>4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
>>
>>5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
>>promoted.
>>
>>6. No one is listening until you fart.
>>
>>7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
>>
>>8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>>
>>9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
>>car payments.
>>
>>10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
>>That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their
>>shoes.
>>
>>11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>>
>>12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
>>and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>>
>>13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
>>probably worth it.
>>
>>14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything
>>
>>15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
>>
>>16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>>
>>17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
>>it back in your pocket.
>>
>>18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>>
>>19. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,
>>and it holds the universe together.
>>
>>20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>>
>>21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
>>moving.
>>
>>22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
>>
>>23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>>
>>24. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...
>>then things get worse.
>>
>>25. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
>>on the same night.
>>
>>26. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>>
>>27. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
>>seriously.
>>
>>28. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
>>make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
>>
>>29. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
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| sunny
Forum Junior
Topics: 4
Posts: 43
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Never knew this avtaar of you......
This is marvellous...
Keep it up..... :wink: :wink:
___________________
Gurvinder Singh
India.
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| ayeshah_l
Forum Elite
Topics: 29
Posts: 284
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i was having a bad day, thanks for putting a big smile on my face. God bless u 
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| sbokhari
Forum Newbie
Topics: 0
Posts: 9
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Good Luck !
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| bbb
IM Program Coordinator
Topics: 32
Posts: 4,734
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There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
This is so true that it's almost scarey!! :lol:
___________________
bbb - trying to combine common sense and humour into realistic answers, but not going to guess on anyone's chances of getting into a position....
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| paheli
It'sAllAboutGoodKarma
Topics: 177
Posts: 2,363
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thought this thread was worth floating. enjoy, people.
i really liked 10, 15 and 25 . wonder about you guys??
___________________
Prepare as if you're the worst, Perform as if you're the best! As you dream, so you manifest. So, DREAM BIG!! When you face hardship, remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.
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| Sayulita
Forum Guru
Topics: 103
Posts: 538
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Funny and creative
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| silver
Forum Guru
Topics: 21
Posts: 773
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13, 24, 26!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________
Every disaster hides an opportunity.
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| samreena
Forum Junior
Topics: 11
Posts: 62
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4,8,9,14,25..these are hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
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| njcjzy
Forum Guru
Topics: 18
Posts: 713
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Here are more, not funny, but good for our USMLE journey.
1. It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
2. It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.
3. I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time.
4. Life must be understood backward. But it must be lived forward.
5. The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
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| njcjzy
Forum Guru
Topics: 18
Posts: 713
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More, just for fun.
1. He who can does -- he who cannot, teaches.
2, I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
3, Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
4, Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
5, I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
6, A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
7, A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke -- and that the joke is oneself.
8, I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
9, Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
10, I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.
11, Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
12, I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
13, The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.
14, I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
15, Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.
16, There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.
17,The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
18, The creative person is both; more primitive and more cultivated, more destructive, a lot madder and a lot saner, than the average person.
19, Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
20, The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
21, A bachelor's life is a fine breakfast, a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner.
22,He told us he was going to take crime out of the streets. He did. He took it into the damn White House.
23,If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
24, I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
25, You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
26. I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?
27,If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
28,At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.
29, You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
30,I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
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| paheli
It'sAllAboutGoodKarma
Topics: 177
Posts: 2,363
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good ones here!! i esp like this:
3. I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time.
lol!!
___________________
Prepare as if you're the worst, Perform as if you're the best! As you dream, so you manifest. So, DREAM BIG!! When you face hardship, remember, God never gives you more than you can handle. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.
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