almost giving up...
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 18
| | 07/28/05 - 04:00 AM
0 of 2 forum leaders found this post helpful
| #1 |
So I have a bad bad story. Wrote the full version, but got erased.
FMG. No family in US. Mother of 2, divorced and responsible of children. Hard working but no much of good studying skills in the repertoire...can you with 2 kids?
Passed Step II (old one not CK) in Aug 1997. Step I later. Got Indefinite Certificate. Got residency...but lost spot after finishing PGYII -because did not pass step 3, after 3 attempts! (Last was 74%...)
Finally sat at test and after second block the computers failed. After failure comes calling FSMB, writing email with report, investigation from the board and letter with new orange permit...all takes about 1 more month (You do not have to pay again).
Got permit, scheduled again for April. As soon I sat at the computer the second time, comp. shows error message: to call administrator. My test is missing a file. I must wait again. After one hour of unsuccesful work on it they tell me I must reschedule again...I call the FSMB etc, etc. THE STORY REPEATS.
New permit expires Aug 15. test scheduled Aug 13 and 14. Got all previous plans going wrong... had to go to native country after 5 years (I had bought the tickets previous to problems), I had to disarm my old home, leave friends as I had to move to another state for my kids to get a better education. All this HAD to happen in the summer before their school...I Just unpacked last block of files and stuff. The home is nice, kids are adjusting...now they are older 10 and 14...but
I do not want to study, but I must. Do I?
I do not want to have problems again. i have books and books but do not seem to concentrate, to focus. I have bad study skills (never have had much time to study anyways...)
I LOVE MEDICINE but I seem to be giving up. I feel that MEDICINE is giving up on me...What to do?
Should I sit to the test if i am going to fail again? Should I forget about it? HOw to make the most of my time?
ANY words of support, advice...or any other "pathetic" experiences, or jokes etc...from a FELLOW DOCTOR can help...
...because with Medicine...I am almost giving up...
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| dev
Forum Guru
Topics: 70
Posts: 1,794
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hi
it is so sad.that u had to have so many difficulties.but dont lose hope.u can do it.set a scheduled time to study.i knw it is difficult to do such a thing with children.divide ur study timings into block of 1hr or whatever time u feel u can do without getting disturbed.also try to take USMLWORLD if u can so that u will know where u stand.
U CAN DO IT!!!DONT LOSE HOPE.
bye
dev
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| Rudy
Forum Junior
Topics: 10
Posts: 30
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Wow,that must hurt...It was incredible all the mess that happened with the computers and how many times!!!It really doesn't seem true,I guess they could write a comedy based on that!Unfortunately in the real life it must not be that funny.
What I could tell you is to decide if you really want to go through that again.To pass the test or not doesn't make you a better person.The fact that you are managing your life in such a difficult situation,and that you are managing to fix it (things are starting to get better,it seems) means that you can do it.And statistically,it cannot be always bad like that!!!It has to change!It is the Statistic,damnit!
But I understand that after all that effort you want to have things done.
If I can give you an advice,you should find a study partner,someone who feels like you about the test and the studying.
My girlfriend failed the step 1 and she was shocked,believe me.Recently she found a study partner right here in this forum and now she is studying again,and she found her motivation again and I can see she is doing better.Maybe your case is more "extreme" and complex,but maybe it could work.
But I told you,first of all you have to worry about your happiness and your children's.If it makes you happy,go for it.There's so much information out there and so much experience from other people,that you CAN do it,that's for sure.
Take care and remember the statistics...the weather gotta change sooner or later.
Bye.
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| almost giving up...
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 18
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Thank you so much guys, you made my day!
I am trying to get an extension. I will write a letter, then just study as much as I can. I will sign for USMLEWORLD even if for 10 days or so. I will decide before the test if I do it or not. If I am not prepared the minimum I will probably not do it. What do you think? Another failure could be maybe too hard. If I get an extension... it would be wonderful...
Home is fine, kids are great, yesterday enrolled them on their new schools which are very nice. They seem happy. They still connect with their old friends through the net. This technology is a REAL blessing.
All the blessings for you guys and good luck!
Tell me more about you guys, what are you preparing, etc. I did 2 years of residency already and I would be very happy to help in anything I can so it is easier for you.
I will change my pseudonim to something else... and I will let you know...
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| chemamr
Moderator and PGY2
Topics: 703
Posts: 4,442
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in the universal history, most people who got success, slipped up sometimes or many times.
___________________
Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself.
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| Rudy
Forum Junior
Topics: 10
Posts: 30
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Hi "almost giving up..etc etc" (Yeah,I think you should definetly change your username!!!),
I swear I was wondering about you last day.I couldn't find anymore in which forum I read your post and where I send my reply...And by pure chance I found you again here.
I am glad things got better,kids and happiness a little more concrete!!!That's great.
Things are changed a little bit for me too,I got married!!!(I am still shocked,eheheheheheh) and I am partecipating in the Match.Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to be so lucky,jeeeez.
Anyway,I am glad you are on the road again.
About the test,I think you should go when you really feel you are prepared.It is not difficult to know,this forum is plenty of useful indication about any kind of preparation material.
It wasn't your fault only if you didn't pass in the past,now you have all the possibilities to do great.Don't rush too much,there's always time.
Hear from you soon.
R
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| marcela
Forum Newbie
Topics: 0
Posts: 27
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Hi Rudy!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You GOT MARRIED! That is a MAYOR step in life, more than any of the other "STEPs" that we are trying to accomplish here. I wish you and your partner all the blessings that this life can bring.
I ended asking for an extension of my permit to FSMB due to all the mess with the computers they extended me for one more month. It was a process to get this done! I studied the best I could and I just finished today my exam.
I do not know how I did, but I was seriously exhausted, I am too old for this!! I could barely keep my attention yesterday and today...I am hoping for the best, buty sincerely, only for a "coup of grace"... you know a gift from the masters to their dedicated (but not so talented) mentees, where with a touch, the master can pass the knowledge to the mentee and the disciple can continue in the path. Well, something like that...if GOD (I'm a believer) does not help me, I will not be able to do it, because my capacity and strength is not enough...But no matter what happens I trust that GOD is present.
Anyway. Now I will figure out my life, I will try to write a paper to finish my master and I will try to find some volunteer work with the New Orleans citizen's devastated by Katrina ( I am in Houston).
Are you in the match? so you are done with tests? Great! Where are you applying? What specialty? Best of luck for you and your new family.... Ah! I have another name: Marcela.
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| Rudy
Forum Junior
Topics: 10
Posts: 30
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Hi Marcela, I am sorry for waiting so long before answer back, I didn't check this post in a while.
Well, congratulations for your test! I guess it is not important how you did right now, but it is important that you DID it after all the mess and bad luck, don't you think? The fact that you changed your name from "almost giving up..." means that you realized that too.
Yep, I agree that the marriage is the ultimate STEP!!!Eheheheh,maybe I didn't realize what happened yet!!!But I know that it is a good thing,even if it is impossible to predict the future.
From my part, I hope to be always true and respectful with my wife, whatever is going to be of us.
I followed the tragedy of New Orleans and it is wonderful of you to try to help those people (I still don't understand how this whole thing could have happened in the United States!!!It seemed to see an african country from the TV).
About the Match,well yes I am in the 2006 Match. You can imagine the tension I feel for the applications, the waiting for the interview etc etc. What else can I do? Just patiently wait. I applied here in the North East area, Tri-State area and Massachussetts.
It was a pleasure to talk to you.
Please let me know how you are doing and how went the Step3 as soon as you know.
Big hug,
Rodolfo
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| almost giving up...
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 18
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Hi Rodolfo,
I passed! Incredible, the second day I was crying but I prayed for a "coupe de grace" and I passed with 75! Can you believe it?
Now I am stuck trying to decide if to finally send papers to california, go wherever they take me or to stay with my children which are better here. Yesterday my daughter had a hard day at school, was crying and after I was able to pep her up she told me (the adorable little ESP witch) "mommy I do not know what would I do if you were not with me..."
I am really stuck. Also my self esteem has suffered so much. My CV which was great, is trash now...it will be hard. I am just trying to pray to find my way. But it will be alright.
By the way...I am not giving up again , on the contrary, but probably this message will have that name...it is just that I forgot my passcode for marcela...jeje. My passcode should be "cabeza de pollo" (chicken head...)
I hope your marriage is a experience and support. Be careful with having little angels! In the other hand...they are the spice of life man!
I wish you happy Holidays with your family and great news in the Match. Keep in touch, Okay?
Blessings.
M
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| Rudy
Forum Junior
Topics: 10
Posts: 30
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Hi Marcela,
I am sorry to read your message soooo late. I start looking at this website again very recently since I am preparing for Step 3 too!!! I really hope the computers in my case don't mess up like it happened in your science fiction story!!!.
I am joking of course. Thank you for thinking of me and send me this post with this absolutely amazing and incredible and inspirational news!!! CONGRATULATIONS CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I am sure that all this pain and effort you had will make you a better person than what you already were, and will give you more energy and insight for the future, whatever you will decide to do. You know, "nothing's born from diamonds, but from manure flowers are born" (this should the correct translation)... eheheheh, let's say that shit really rained in your case, but now many flowers will born again.
About me, everything is fine... I MATCHED!!! In a preliminary position, supposedly in a very cool university (we'll see tomorrow). It was the best plan, considering that I am planning a career in general surgery, which categorical positions are totally out of hand for foreign. Now I'll have my chance to prove myself.
I have been so lucky in these 2 years in the US, I am almost ashamed (well, I said ALMOST!!!Eheheheh). Everything went so smooth that I wonder I should expect for something coming...! Eheheh. I know that it will not be so smooth all the time, but I feel peaceful and serene because I always try to do my besy. No regrets, you know.
And about little angels... I cannot wait to have one too... ehy, I know how to make it happen, it is already something, right?! Eheheheh. Can you believe my wife agrees?! Eheheheh.
Ah, and you don't have to translate the spanish. My wife is dominican and I am italian... I understand spanish!!! Eheheheheh.
I wish you the best of luck. Every possibility is open in your future now, for both of us, I guess, and this is the most fantastic gift we could have received from these days, don't you think?
Again, congratulations for your so fought achievement and the best of luck for you and your family.
Rodolfo
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| almost giving up...
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 18
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Hey Rodolfo,
I just got this! Hey passed the test, I am applying to license in CA. Will seee if something comes up there.
Take care and have fun...hey I don't remember if you passed Step III, if not: STUDY as much as you can and try to do it ASAP. Residency can be an 80 hours /week job and for you in surgery much harder ...so careful there...
Keep doing such a great job and saludos a la familia.
M
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| almost giving up...
Forum Newbie
Topics: 1
Posts: 18
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Hey , aqui cabeza de pollo...
so you were saying you were studying for STEP III...ok, ok, ...when is the date?
Did you match? Where? Which State?
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| Rudy
Forum Junior
Topics: 10
Posts: 30
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Yes yes!!! I PASSED!!! I got 93 and I could study just a couple of weeks (jeeeez, I was scared...). No more tests (I guess I am going to miss them... do you agree?!).
I did match in Pennsylvania, University of Pittsburgh, I am still wondering how that could happen... I am not particularly handsome or charmy or smelly...
I am happy you had the chance to see my email. I hope everything is going OK, and above all, I hope your kids are OK, which is the most important thing, and that your life got finally to best track possible.
I wish you the best luck in your application in California (ehi, it did work so far, right!?), let me know how things are going every once in a while. For which specialty did you apply?
Signed,
Mr. Cabeza De Pollo (the original)
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