kaira
Forum Senior
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hi laila
its been a long time u havnt been visiting ur diary ......hope ur in the pink of health......and studying well!!
kaira
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| Minsk
Forum Newbie
Topics: 2
Posts: 5
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I like your diary, Laila! I'm old IMG too and just start to think about the exam. Good luck and keep going...
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| laila
Forum Senior
Topics: 3
Posts: 86
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June 01, 2005
It has been soooooooooo long since I wrote my diary or even posted in the forum. Two weeks. And this break was expected. When I started the journey I knew of the bumpy road ahead.
OK so far my progress has been slow and the major contributing fact or is my great ability or rather willingness to get distracted by so many things.
But I am glad that I were studying every day depsite every thing. I did behav. sciences and for some days I did follow my daily dose of biochem and pathology.
And one thing I suffered from throughout was this maddening desire or urge to change my scedule whenever I were unable to follow up my schedule for even a day. So I changed my schedule an unbelievable number of times in these past couple of months. That was so very crazy. But I would not study for a day or two days or whatever and then I would start freaking out when I picked up the books and would fee lthat I should somehow juggle my study schedule to make room for the wasted time. That was the biggest mistake I made. So far. And I hope that was my only mistake. And one more thing that I did not want to face up was the fact that I were trying to stay away from the difficult subjects or subjects that I think might be diffucult. So I kept pushing Phsiology, Pathology, Pharma to the back every time. Not doing them first depsite knowing that these are the most important subjects for the exam.
But not any more.So I put a complete stop to again changing my study schedule and time table and also for the next 3 months I will finish the 3 P's first along with my revision of biochem/ genetics and micor/ immuno. Starting physiology first. From today. I have BRS physio and also Kaplan notes. And even though I will not use the medical school text book Guyton at all but just knowing that it is here with me in US gives me a feeling of security. When I were doing Guyton for my first professional exam I used to tear away the different chapters for reading on the way to and from medical school. Oh I am having nostalgia about those days now.
OK, so I a m off to my studying now.
Good luck every body.
___________________
"A ship in harbour is safe......but that is not what ships are made for."
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| cyra
Moderator
Topics: 29
Posts: 844
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Hey Laila...
Just read thru ur diary...best read in days!! ....u do have a flair for writing...changes in schedule to make up for time lost ....that sounds familiar...i do the same....but have tried to curb it down...n it is working...at least till now....when i miss out on a day or two...i freak out too...but the best thing to do is not to let it bog u down...and i absolutely loved guyton tooo!!!....too bad i dont have the same sense off security of having it with me here in the US...better be off now...Good luck!
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| kaira
Forum Senior
Topics: 1
Posts: 128
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hey laila....changing schedule is a problem wth alomost everyone i still doo it many time....bt not the paranoid way i used to do before......dnt worry u will reduce it too eventually....
brs and kaplan is definately a good choice......and the day u get stuck despite these books u cn goo to the good old guyton....i thnk it has almost all ans anyone needs
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| laila
Forum Senior
Topics: 3
Posts: 86
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Friday, Jul 1, 2005
It has been exactly one month to date that I last wrote my diary. Then I just disappeared. Even though I were very much here.
So you guys would think I was too busy studying for my imminent step 1. I wish I were. But I have been so very sketchy with my studies for the whole of the last month. I have no explanation for this state. No reasoning. No justification. I only know I suffered from this severe procastination all through medical school and it did make my life miserable because of needless worrying and anxiety as the exams, for which I were supposed to be studying but were not, drew near.
I have been trying to stay focused and disciplined but for some reason it is not working. Now the latest development in a nalready complicated issue of finding it difficult to stay focused in my study is that whenever I am late in starting my day by even one hour ( normally my study time starts around 8 in the morning) I start feeling that it is not just one hour that has been wasted but it has been a whole day that has gone to the dumps. And then the whole day does goes thrown away to the dumps. For I just some how manage not to study for the rest of the day either.
I am so far behind my schedule that I find it scary even to check my study schedule.
In all honesty I I should have finished my first reading by now. But I am still stuck at physiology which I started one month ago. And the only reason I am stuck there still is that I just don't read my physio book.
I did not even want to write all this here and own up to being such a ---- (feel free to use the swear words of your choice here).
But if I did not write it here today and own up and be honest then I would not be able to deal with this problem either. So here is the deal for me:
After writing my confession here I will lock my PC, for it is here that I waste all of my time, and study for 2 hours straight. After that I will strategise my planning and decide how to go about it.
I have to take the step 1 in Oct-Nov- Dec 2005. I really wished to take it before the holy month of Ramadhan but now having wasted the better part of one whole month I really don't see how that can be feasible.
And I do need a score of 90+. Being an old graduate I have one heavy strike against me for getting a good psychiatry residency, and don't want to complicate things any further with adding repeated attempts and low scores.
Will come back later with update.
___________________
"A ship in harbour is safe......but that is not what ships are made for."
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| laila
Forum Senior
Topics: 3
Posts: 86
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Friday, July 1, 2005
A quick update: I have to make sure some how, that this big, huge slip up of mine was the last ever for step 1 prep. I just can't afford to be so pathetic. To dwell in any procastination. To feel overwhelemd or any thing negative at all.
I will keep on following my study schedule again. Hopefully I will make up for the lost time one way or other.
So it is physiology till 15 July. From Kaplan. I did the first 4 chapters today. That is in the two hours I did study. Compared to the daily ration this is mery a tiny morsel. But I feel like getting up from long debilitating illness and can only take baby steps before I regain my speed.
I also did a review of my study schedule. I know I can not study on weekends (also long weekends like this one)so I needed to rejuggle my schedule to work in a Mon thru Fri format.
So help me God!
___________________
"A ship in harbour is safe......but that is not what ships are made for."
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| kaira
Forum Senior
Topics: 1
Posts: 128
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hey laila.......its gr8 to see u back
after such a long break u trying very hard to get back in track shows hw optimistic and dedicated ur.......believe in urself and u cn make it..........
i knw some days r very very dry........no matter wht happed u just cnt concentrate.........bt ur nt alone it happens to everyone.......
motivation is wht we lack during thoes days.........gng thro everybodys diaries and seeing their progress, reading the exam experiences posted on ths forum makes the magic work fr me.........
everybody studies sooo hard to pass ths exam soo why cnt i???........... i always ask ths questions and sit to study....
it may work fr u too who knws...........just study everyday no matter even if it is fr 1 hr bt study so tht u dnt loose ur track... ..im sure u will regain ur speed once again........
soo all the best for ur studies
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