zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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I thought it might be a good idea to get this going. Im an old grad and have been thinking about giving this exam for a while. Gave it last year but didnt get through so kind of lost the desire. Knowdays I go to the FORUM each day actually its on my favs list on my laptop. I read so many reviews from the Exam Experience, Support Forum and Diary section. I figured maybe this might push me over the edge and get myself back to studying.
Thing is that Ive been out of Med School for a very long time and last year after much thinking decided to give Step 1 another chance after a 5 year gap. I worked hard but in the end got a 67 and was very demoralized after that. Since that time I have gotten all the Goljan Notes, cds Kaplan Notes and HY...you name it I have it.....Its just that I have a strange feeling that I wont be able to pass it again and that gives me jeepers..I work Full Time and as such dont have much free time on my own so with everything else going on its just hard to get my frame of mind set. Each day I read inspiring stories over the FORUM and they give me strenght and hope and I decided that OK tomorrow is the day that I will get back in the groove. But then tomorrow comes and goes away....minutes become hours and hours becomes day and I then feel stranded again.
I am happy with my current job but there is this void I have since I feel that I was born to be doctor but this exam just keeps on kicking me back and I feel as if maybe its not meant to be. Somehow I lack the motivation to get in saddle...I know that I shouldnt be really needing any motivation considering Medicine is the best field one can be in but just the fact that I cant seem to get over this hump is driving me to the point that I feel that maybe I really cant do this afterall
Having said all of this also is kind of a relief of my shoulders as I know that only here on this forum are people who truly understand the depths as each of us sometime in due course have gone through the same emotions. I can only hope that I wake up and realize fast and get back on track as time sure will not wait forever
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| berkeleyboy
Forum Elite
Topics: 15
Posts: 361
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zigzag...what a great name. Of course, There'll be none of that now, that you've decided to become serious and actually pass this motherfu****
Best of luck to you my friend and welcome to Diary land, we're glad to have you!
I really like the name by the way.
Berkeleyboy
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PGY-1 Ohio State University Plastic Surgery
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi Zigzag,
Welcome to the Diary forum. You can beat this exam once you put your mind to it. I took this exam FOUR times before I passed - the first time I took it I also got a 67. My last attempt was an 85. I went through hell the past few years trying to keep the hope alive. There were so many times when I just wanted out and quit, however, I didn't think I could forgive myself if I gave up so easily and chose another career. I've spent four years of college as a pre-med, 4 years of hell in medical school just trying to get by and graduate, and now, 2 years of post graduation without a job trying to pass this damn thing. I can understand how frustrated you may be feeling.
Keep the dream alive. With perserverence, you can pass this USMLE. Remember, half of the battle is a mind game, the other half is up to you to sit down and hit the books. Drop by drop, baby steps at a time, knowledge will add up quicker than you know.
All the best,
pinkangel
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welcome to the dairy world
good luck with your studies...
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Thanks for your posts and your support. Berkleyboy Im glad you liked the name it was a just a thought that came but sounds funny.
By the way I have a quick question for any of you all...I have Supersized Goljan documents for System and General Path and was wondering if I should really use them or get the Goljan Rapid Review....any thoughts or suggestion
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| Moctopod
Forum Elite
Topics: 14
Posts: 422
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Hi Zigzag
Welcome to the diaries forum!
It's great to see the renewed enthusiasm after the last time, and I hope that keeping on track with a diary helps. Good on you.
Afraid I can't help with Goljan. I'm just using his audios and 36 page HY.
All the best,
Moc
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Well yesterday after much squiblling around I decided to put my b**t on my desk and started reading HY Neuroanatomy. I sure do hate it but hell I got screwed big time on my last exam so I figured Id better put in some good time in it this time round. Today Im going to try to continue to read it out loud. I think my biggest enemy is the TV as each time I get tired I just sit in front of it plugging on the channel and before you know it hours have gone by
I did do someting really funny yesterday so wanted to share it with you all. As you know that I am an old IMG so havent been in a hospital for a long time. So just to rekindle my love and give me some inspiration I went by Costco and got myself some new scrubs and was walking around all day long in them. I enjoyed wearing them and even went out to run some errands. Had to pick up some medicinces from Walgreens and the Pharmacist asked me where I worked and I just made up a Hospital in my area.....well it felt good even though it was a little lie but hey as long as it doesnt hurt anyone dont think it that bad.
Gota finish my laundry and get something to eat and then it off to Neuroanatomy
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| berkeleyboy
Forum Elite
Topics: 15
Posts: 361
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I'm using the rapid review, but I don't know how good it is compared to goljan's actual lecture notes cuz I haven't looked at them in detail. At a glance the look almost similar and run thru with the same format and material. I think his lecture notes have more in them than the rapid review but its too late for me cuz I've already read the rapid review a few times.
I think you'll be cool using whichever.
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PGY-1 Ohio State University Plastic Surgery
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Guys,
When should I start doing qbank...after I finish each subject or just one month before the exam
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| berkeleyboy
Forum Elite
Topics: 15
Posts: 361
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go buy Qbook, its easier than qbank. Do the questions in qbook after ur first read thru the subjects. Save Qbank for after your second read thru the material. Trust me... 
___________________
PGY-1 Ohio State University Plastic Surgery
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Hello All,
I was just looking into this book and was wondering if any one of you has used it and has any inputs. I do have his system/general path notes also but they are a combined over 600pages while this book is about 350 and looks like a conside edition
Look forward to your responses
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| berkeleyboy
Forum Elite
Topics: 15
Posts: 361
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I'm using rapid review as my sole prep for path. I'll let you know how things turn out for me when I take the exam.
berk
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PGY-1 Ohio State University Plastic Surgery
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Based on my continued procrastication I have now finally pulled the plug of my ass. I was planning a short trip to Vegas for three days with two of my buddies in Mid April but decided today that I will not go since it will only create most time wastage and nothing else. My buddies still dont know as I just thought about this today while pondering of what I want to do next in my life. Im sure if I go through with it with all the paryting and drinking I will end up losing about 10days first to get excited about heading out there and then being there getting trashed and then detoxing my body..instead I went to Yoga for the past two days and it really helped me relax and feel tranquil. I havent been inside a gym for a long time so Yoga was great for my soul plus the chicks in the class were also very inspiring :P
I also went through my shelves of book to actually come up with a plan to beat this exam. I plan to give the exam on June 30th. Here is what I plan on using
Path: Goljan Rapid Review/FA/Goljan 36 & 100 pages
Pharma:Kaplan/FA
Physio:BRS/FA
Biochem:Kaplan/FA
Micro:Kaplan or Ridicoulosy/FA
Behav:Kaplan/FA
Neuro:HY/FA
Embryo:HY/FA
Gross Ana:FA
Cell Bio-Histo:FA
My plan is for the first read to do one subject at a time and once I have completed all the stuff for one subject do questions and q-book
Then with the second read I will do the same. If I get time I will try to do a third read. With one month left I want to start on Q-Bank and towards the end just do questions and FA. That is what Im planning on doing for now. I look forward to your inputs if you think I need to change add or subtract something from here with the idea in my mind that I want to give the exam by June 30th 2005
Ciao for now
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Well so in the last few months thanks to my Chronic Pain Syndrome following my car wreck last year I went into depression and all the bull crap that goes with it...am still seeing a Neurologist/Phychologist/Accupuncture/Physical Therapy twice a week and also a Podiatrist...so its a cocktail of doctors and specialist...Im currently taking Lexapro 20mg/day but will be having a Team Meeting with my Therapist/Pain Mgmt Specialist and might be changing over to some other AntiDepressant with Analgesic properties...but thats the story line....
Finally having being on the AntiDepressant for a little while will only get better for me..I still do have alot of problems concentrating since my back and neck are in pain and sitting in one place for a long time can be a total pain in the ass......
With all this in mind I decided to finally put money where my mouth is and signed up for the Step 1...for Oct-Dec Timeframe..I want to give it by the End of Novemeber so need all ur help..guidance and support to walk me through this...my wife said a very interesting thing this morning to me before we were going for work..in that..I make good money right now with my current job..but have the POTENTIAL TO MAKE ALOT once I complete my exams...it really is not all about the money to me...its about the hard work and passion we all went thru and now we are hitting this wall in the form of this exam..I have failed a few times...twice four/five years ago and then last july when I had my accident two weeks before the exam...I go to sleep with the thought of all the things I need to do but then when it comes down to study I loose track
I read about all these amazing women who have new babies and kids and realize that even with my injuries I still have it better than all of them...there are so many guys who are also working hard..studying...have famiies and are making ends meet also...I admire there efforts and take inspiration from all the folks who are here struggling each with his own set of issues...but in the end the goal for all of us is the same..to pass this exam and then the rest and the fulfill a promise that each one of us made the first day we walked into a Medical school
Lets keep the dream alive and help each other out..I dream of the day that I will be able to put on this forum that Yay I passed the exam...till then I will try to conquer this...Persistance is the Key to Success...God puts us all in tough situations and he tests our faith...till we dont try with all our heart and soul we shall never overcome our obstacles
Over the past few weeks I have gone over the Kaplan Biochem-Pharma-Neuro-Embryo/Goljan Audio and his Pathology book. Today I will sit and do questions from QBank on Pharma and then hit First Aid with Pharma...
Look forward to your thoughts and ideas
Tcare
Zack
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| KEROCHI
Forum Guru
Topics: 60
Posts: 971
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Nice to see you back & good luck w/ everything!! You were right we all have our own aches & pains in preparing for this exam but w/ perseverance we'll all do good inthe end. GL
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| cyra
Moderator
Topics: 29
Posts: 844
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Hey Zack!....i admire your determination and can tell that you have it in you to get through this!!just keep at it...like you said persistence is the key...and for your low days...you can always turn to this forum...for starters...i just came across the following quote today...and i feel that in one way or the other...it actually does pertain to all of us striving for our goals..i for one was driven to make the very best of today at least, because of it! ....here goes...
"Words can never adequately convey the incredible amount of impact of our attitude toward life.The longer i live the more convinced i become that life is ten percent what happens to us and ninety percent how we respond to it.I believe the single most significant decision i make on a day to day basis is my choice of attitude.It is more important than my past,my education,my bankroll,my successes or my failure,fame or pain,what other people think or say about me,my circumstances or my position.Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress.It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope.When my attitudes are right there is no barrier too high,no valley too deep,no dream too extreme,no challenge too great for me."
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| kaira
Forum Senior
Topics: 1
Posts: 128
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ur truly a fighter zack...... keep it up!!. just a few more months and ur dream will be a reality.......
all the best..........
hey cyra thts a beautiful quote!!
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Thanks Kaira/Cyra/Kerochi for your posts and words of encouragement. The quote was beautiful and is surely hit home
I managed to complete both the tests on Pharma in qBook and then went over the answers and explanations. I then went ahead and completed a half of the first test on Behavorial but then Barnes & Noble closed down and I had to head back home.
I still think it was a semi productive day but it always starts with baby steps to get to the goal. I plan on completing the test on Behavorial and then start Physio from today.
Thanks and will catch up again
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Well yesterday was again a productive day in terms of how my last few months have been. I completed both the tests on Behavorial Science and then complete two chapters in BRS Physiology. Ill be heading out at to B&N and will start going over more physio. Tomorrow night I have a wedding reception to attend so I know there will be no studying so will have to kick it into gear tonight and then over the weekend.
Ciao for now
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| cyra
Moderator
Topics: 29
Posts: 844
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Hey Zack...that sound productive by all standards!Hope you have an even more productive day tomorrow!
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Cyra thanks again...well yesterday after work I had my double shot of caffiene..first in the form of a Diet Red Bull since Im watching my calories and then an hour later with a Fat Free/Light Whip Cafe Mocha at Starbucks .....I was BN till closing time at 11pm and completed almost 60 pages of BRS Physio....got tired after than and headed home and off to sleep..
Tonight I have to take my wife out to attend a wedding reception and after the booze I will have in my system I doubt if Im going to end up at BN....so Im off tonight...but the plan is to hit the books early tomorrow and complete more of Physio and then do some questions if I get too tired of just reading
Happy Studying
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| KEROCHI
Forum Guru
Topics: 60
Posts: 971
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hey zigzag, that was super! 60 pages !! Awesome.
BTW i heard about Red Bull for an energy drink.. i guess that really worked. i need to get me some of those bec I really need it for staying up late. Late for me is 12MN. Want to stay up til 4am at times to finish up my new schedule. Anyway GL & keep up the high spirit!!
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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The last few days have been awful..I went to the wedding reception and ate food which made me to sick like a dog...I was down and out for the last few days and today is the first day that I am finally begining to feel human...
Plan is to head off to B&N after work but as of right now its a strecth since I am still not recovered fully. This has not been good at all since I have lost four days and not done anything 
Ciao for now
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| cyra
Moderator
Topics: 29
Posts: 844
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Hey Zack!
It really sucks when one loses days like that...I hope you are feeling better now...and that you had a good day today!Don't think about time lost now because it just makes things worse!!...just get back to the books and you will be fine...take care!
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| zigzag
Forum Senior
Topics: 30
Posts: 82
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Hello Everybody....
Its been a while since I was back here...first it was my bad health that got me down for a week or so and then I got pulled into this whirlwind time so here I am finally back with my clan.....
The studies have been slow due to my two issues first the health which is now better but the second one is the one that is the bothersome one so I was hoping my friends here can give me there ideas.
As I had mentioned in my first post I work in the Private Sector and have been in it for quite a few years..this past week I was refrenced by some folks to another company whom I visited...the job is really good...its pay six figure salary and they want me to start right away..my only dilema is that my heart is still in Medicine and I know if I do take this route it will take away all of my time initially to getting to better understanding and with that I may not be able to give the exam....I am in limbo..part of me wants to go for the job and the other half still wants the dream to continue....................your thoughts will be important to me..in making my decision
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