pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi Rofah and friends,
Rofah: please check your inbox, I sent you a pm.
Today was another day as usual holed up at the Kaplan center. I met with the medical advisor today who helped me to keep my spirits up as well as to give me well meaning prods to keep up my studies. I wasn't ready to take the Kaplan pharm assessment exam today but he did give me a mini oral exam about beta blockers and chemotherapy drugs. I was sweating bullets already. :shock:
Anyway, the rest of the day was spent reading about drugs for Parkinsonism and immunopharmacology. I am planning to take the assessment test for behavioral science, pharmacology, and microbiology by this time next week.
So much to read and remember, so little time. Where does the time go? :| Well, time for bed so I can get up early tomorrow morning to hit the books. Wish you all in USMLE land happy studies.
Love,
pinkangel
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doing great!!!!
keep it up :lol: :lol:
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| Roxanita
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 108
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Hey Angel 
It's always nice to read your diary  I have no doubts that you are going to ace this exam with flying colors, I can't wait to see your post about it in some weeks 8)
I am taking my exam in April and hope to be ready by that time but as you say it seems so little time, trying to read, learn and remember the most we can from the notes and all books; but... as Goljan says "the most we read, the more chances we have to pass this exam" :roll: so I better keep reading and keep reading...+oo
Have a great study day pinkangel 
Roxy.
___________________
"We all basically have 2 choices in life: Let things stay the way they are or work to make them better"
-Julia Havey
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| rofah2003
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 16
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Hey there,
This morning I had an epiphany. I realized that we really all ARE doctors.
It is not how long it takes you to get there.
It is not how much you sacrafice getting there.
It isn't even how 'well' you do on this one specific type of standardized test.
It IS how you are. What I mean is that compassion, caring, empathy, and patience is what will make us all great docs. Not the test. Not the score.
This has been a tough hurdle for me and I am not even as close as many of you are. But basically, reading Pinkangel's prose as well as other's, is good for reminding me why I went to medical school.
I just wanted to say thanks and keep up the good work.
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi rofah2003 and friends,
Yes you are right. We are doctors already, it is just an exam that is keeping me from jumping through to the other side called residency.
Thank God I still have faith in my self left after being mauled by the USMLE 1 so many times. I know I am not stupid and nobody on this forum should think they are either. Failure is just a step away from success as someone said. I am strong and will not give up until I achieve my goal.
As for my daily entry:
I have been at the Kaplan center all day, doing microbiology and having my head swimming with so many names of bacteria and fungi. This is my second reading and my eyes hurt from watching 5 videos. :shock:
Yesterday was pretty much the same as today except I was too tired to post. I plan on taking the assessment exam on Friday.
Keep on with the good work my friends!
Till tomorrow,
pinkangel
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| Roxanita
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 108
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Hey Angel,
Good luck on your assessment exam, sure you will kick its ass <:behave:>
Keep it up :icon_bounce:
Roxy.
___________________
"We all basically have 2 choices in life: Let things stay the way they are or work to make them better"
-Julia Havey
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi everyone!
I spent 12 hours at the Kaplan center going through 7 microbiology tapes and doing my second reading. My eyes feel like they have exopthalmos. :shock: My obicularis oculi muscles are twitching.
For those of you who are up on anatomy, feel free to correct me if I got my lower eyelid muscles wrong. :? I still have to review anatomy which I'm saving for the last 2 weeks before my exam.
Anyway, you all know that feeling - as if you've just come out of the Lord of the Rings trilogy marathon at the local theater. Tomorrow is the big day for my assessment exam. I'll keep all of you posted. Study hard! I'm going to go home and give my eyes a rest. :icon_sleep:
Love,
pinkangel
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| niti
Forum Guru
Topics: 36
Posts: 499
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Hi Pink,
How r u ? You are such a hard working person and really seems to know all stuffs...its hard to beleive that u faced the failure ? But, I will certainly appreciate your courage to come forward and share your story and experience .This makes me realize that passing step 1 is not a piece of cake..it needs mths of preperation and hard work.
Sometimes, I really think about you and your situation..what could be the reason about your previous failures in step1..( pl. don't take it other way...I can't find better words to ask this Qs...so, I am asking straight )..on the other hand u passed step2 without any hassel ...So, maybe you have less interest in basic sciences or you r more visual person who don't like to memorize stuffs....or your study methods were wrong...( bec if it is the case..I am sure u already changed your study methods this time?? )...Whatever the reason ..please answer me whenever u get time ..
Keep Up..
I will see u soon..coming out in flying colors..
Happy Studying.. D
niti
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| lmbebo
Forum Elite
Topics: 36
Posts: 338
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g/l tommorow.
I do feel like doing a LoTR marathon myself. I got my LoTR RoK Extended version the other day. I'm really really really anxious to watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i had to unhook the dvd rom from my computer to keep me from watching it.
hope the test goes well.
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working really hard i guess.....did you take the date pink?
your hardwork will really pay off.....you will definetly ace the exam this time....
happy studying!!!!
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| najru
Forum Junior
Topics: 14
Posts: 24
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hi Pinkangle
what is goljan patho comprehensive q's?
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| najru
Forum Junior
Topics: 14
Posts: 24
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hi Pinkangle
what is goljan patho comprehensive q's?
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| rofah2003
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 16
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Hey Angel,
Hope you rocked that test. No matter what, remember that it is only a test and the real one is easier. I took the Kaplan center test and was shocked by my score. An employee there told me they make it wicked tough on purpose.
Do something fun and relaxing. You deserve it.
Rofah
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi guys,
Sorry I've been so late in posting. I've just gotten back home after an exhausting day running around doing errands after coming back from Kaplan. I got a 70 on my microbiology assessment exam so I am a bit shell shocked. I don't know what to think of it. :icon_scratch: Anyone have experience with Kaplan assessment tests? I'm not looking forward to the pharmacology test. I will take the behavioral science test tomorrow.
I just got my orange extension slip from NBME tonight so I will have to log on tomorrow morning when I am thinking more clearly to figure out when I can sign up to take this USMLE. I am so sick of studying for it. I can't wait until I get rid of it forever. Hopefully this will be the last and final time. I am determined to kill the beast. :evil:
Hope everyone had a good and productive day. I am going to go over the questions I got wrong tomorrow and see what I can do about it. I am not planning on buying the 2005 edition of First Aid as I think it is a waste of money at this point for me. However, I will stop by the local medical bookstore to see what is different in the new edition. I own the 2003 edition.
Okay everyone. My eyelids are starting to droop. :icon_sleep: I am trying to keep up a daily log of my progress as promised, no matter how late I am in posting. Wish everyone a great weekend.
Keep up the fight! :icon_study:
pinkangel
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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"niti" wrote:Hi Pink, How r u ? You are such a hard working person and really seems to know all stuffs...its hard to beleive that u faced the failure ? But, I will certainly appreciate your courage to come forward and share your story and experience .This makes me realize that passing step 1 is not a piece of cake..it needs mths of preperation and hard work. Sometimes, I really think about you and your situation..what could be the reason about your previous failures in step1..( pl. don't take it other way...I can't find better words to ask this Qs...so, I am asking straight )..on the other hand u passed step2 without any hassel ...So, maybe you have less interest in basic sciences or you r more visual person who don't like to memorize stuffs....or your study methods were wrong...( bec if it is the case..I am sure u already changed your study methods this time?? )...Whatever the reason ..please answer me whenever u get time .. Keep Up.. I will see u soon..coming out in flying colors.. Happy Studying.. niti
Hi niti,
Here's the answer to your question which I promised you last night when my mental status was very foggy. As I look back and think about why I failed, there are several reasons.
1. I just didn't get it. I didn't understand how to study for this exam. Until I found out about Goljan, I thought I just needed to learn the individual subjects and know most of each enough to pass. How stupid of me. As Dr. Goljan said, it's not about what, it's about why. Mechanisms, mechanisms, mechanisms. I didn't know half of the what, not to mention any of the why. No wonder I failed.
2. Niti, you are right on target when you mentioned that I may not like memorizing stuff. I don't like that type of learning. I'm a visual, concept based learner. I am allergic to straight memorization. Unfortunately, the materials tested on Step 1 are the basic sciences which I do not like. My school didn't grade with scores, they had a basic system:
F - fail - 69 or below
M - marginal - 70 plus or minus the standard deviation of each exam
P - pass - 75- 85
HP - high pass - 86 - 92
HN - honors - 93-100
As I wrote in my very first entry of this diary, I was happy with just passing my exams. Some exams I did better on than others, but I was just relieved to have passed. People reminded each other during the basic sciences year that P=MD. I was stupid to settle with just a P. I should've worked harder, studied more diligently, and taken my studies and responsibilities as a medical student more seriously. I am so ashamed of myself when I think back to those precious years that would've made a huge difference in my life now. :oops: :? 
3. I loved working with the patients on the wards and learning concepts and clinical management, but still I didn't know enough of the why. I knew some, but not as much as the other students. I knew enough to pass my shelf exams which were given practically every month. Those shelf exams probably helped me pass USMLE Step 2. They were created by the same people who make the questions for the USMLE. That's probably why I got used to the format and the types of questions I would face on the real Step 2. I got along very well with other students, residents, and attendings so I got high marks on my personal evaluations. Unfortunately, it was always my exam score that pulled my final grade down to a pass or high pass. Another reason I probably passed Step 2 on my first attempt was the fact that I studied at Kaplan during my 3rd year of medical school - I signed up for a year long course so I could pass my rotations and learn the clinical knowledge behind the what. At the end of the day, I would drive to the Kaplan center to watch video tapes and read the corresponding lecture notes related to my current rotation. After going through 2 failures with Step 1, I didn't want to risk another failure with Step 2. It was worth every penny.
God was by my side the whole way through medical school and I know He is with me still. That's why I can finally see why I kept failing. I didn't want to take the time to sit down and memorize the what and to figure out the why. It was too painful for me to go through that process which I am finally doing now after 3 failures and losing my residency. I thought I could get away with not knowing pathology or physiology or pharmacology thoroughly and still pass. :oops: How stupid and pretentious of me. How naive and blind I was. :? It was Goljan and my friends on this forum who taught me that you need to know pathophysiology cold before facing this exam. Every time I failed, these were always my weakest subjects. Coming in third place was pharmacology. It didn't matter that I knew enough microbiology, behavioral science, or biochemistry. If I didn't know the foundation of the USMLE 1, then how could I pass? No one can do that.
I feel blessed to have learned the lessons that God has taught me this year. Humility is the biggest one of them all. Both of my parents are FMGs, now called IMGs because it is a more politically correct term. Both of them passed their boards on their first attempt because they tried hard and studied their asses off. They came to this country with me, a few hundred dollars, and only 2 suitcases. We lived in a rat infested apartment while both of them struggled with learning English while going through residency. They came to the USA with a dream to achieve and because of their humility, dedication, and hard work, they were able to see fruit. I don't know if many AMGs who pass on their first attempt after the second year of medical school will ever realize what a privilege it is to pass Step 1 and go onto a US residency. They will never know the pain, humiliation, depression, and shame that I am experiencing right now.
Because of my experience with the USMLE 1 and as the daughter of 2 practicing IMG parents - I know from first hand experience how much hard work and dedication is required. I have great respect for IMG physicians who make it into residency because of the experience my parents had. Getting yelled at and made fun of every day because of English problems, having native English speakers pretend that they don't understand what the resident is saying just to make fun of them. I've heard about this from my own parents while seeing it during my rotations in my medical school. It is a real shame but you know what? That's life and those people are nothing when you think about it. If you work hard, you will build an excellent reputation and earn the respect of others. My parents didn't let those people discourage them. Actually, my mother confronted one of those people during a team meeting and told her that wasn't nice. That woman turned beet red and the other residents and attendings on her team congratulated her for standing up for herself. :wink:
4. I didn't do enough questions. Enough said. Even with the questions I got wrong, I didn't bother to research in depth the concepts related to the right answer. I am so ashamed. :oops:
5. I didn't study hard enough. See above ranting to understand this if you don't understand why.
So you see niti, you are right. I can tell you are very perceptive and an excellent doctor. Please don't take any of my answers the wrong way either. I like your honest style and this is my honest answer to you - straight from my heart. Hope this helps to answer your thoughts.
Love,
pinkangel
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| lmbebo
Forum Elite
Topics: 36
Posts: 338
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hey
dont know what the exams are like, so I can't comment on the assestment exam.s
Just wanted to wish you a g/l and keep on studying hard.
as for the new FA, I too wanna know the difference. But the local bkstore here said they won't have it on their shelves till mid january?
I'd go check now, but I think they closed 2 hours agao :|
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi Imbebo and friends,
The date is officially set for January 19, 2005. Please pray for me to keep up my strength, determination, and motivation to study hard in order to pass this exam. [-o<
Tomorrow is Sunday, my official day off from studies but I know I'm going to cheat anyway. I need to take the behavioral science assessment test on Monday so I'll probably do some reading from Kaplan and FA tomorrow after church. :-$
I want to watch the movie Alexander tomorrow. Heard it got poor reviews but I'm up for some entertainment. 8)
Imbebo: Went to the local bookstore tonight - Barnes and Nobles but couldn't find the 2005 edition of FA either. I think my local medical bookstore will have it before the end of the year though. I will be able to visit on Monday. Will keep you all updated.
Wishing everyone a great Sunday. See you on Monday!
pinkangel
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| Roxanita
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 108
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Hi Angel,
It was nice to read your advice to Niti, you answered many doubts I had on mind, thanks :P
I am going overseas for Xmas, but be sure on Christmas Eve I am going to pray for you pinkangel, will pray to baby Jesus to give you everything you need to pass this exam my friend, I don't know you personally but I feel like I do so much through your letters :wink:
Don't freak out with the results you get in Kaplan assesments, I hope you can take the nbme forms, that would give you a better picture of your real performance :-k but you are almost there pinkangel don't get discourage please you know your stuff doctor, be confident :_online_:
Thanks for sharing the story of your parents, I am sure they are good persons cause they raised a daughter like you, they got to be great I only have 1,5 years speaking english so it's true the language is the worst barrier for IMG's like me who never spoke english before :roll: , that's why I am kind of embarrased with my english :oops: by the way sorry about the mistakes in my posts ...Reading your parent's story gives me encourage to keep going, thanks
About Alexander, it was not my favorite movie, I love History so I was very disappointed about the film <red_eye>
Have a great Sunday and keep the great job pinkangel, you are soooo close :P
Happy Studying and good luck with your assesment test on monday
Roxy.
___________________
"We all basically have 2 choices in life: Let things stay the way they are or work to make them better"
-Julia Havey
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| Moctopod
Forum Elite
Topics: 14
Posts: 422
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Hi Pinkangel
Another inspiring post, sis. I also admire your strength, dedication and determination and reading about your background only enhances this. I have every confidence that you'll be successful this time, make our online family so proud, and be the best doctor you can be.
All the best,
Moc
P.S. A quick question. What is P=MD? You mentioned it in one of your previous posts as well but I haven't heard it before. Pass = Medical Doctor?
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi Roxy and Moc,
Thanks for your encouraging posts. I shouldn't be online today but I already told you guys that I would be doing a bit of cheating today.
Moc: you're right. P=MD means Pass=Medical Doctor.
Roxanita: Thanks for your kind and encouraging words. Don't be sorry about your English. It's all about practice and you're doing very well.
Hablo espanol un poco porque tome clases de espanol durante la escuela secundario y el colegio. Aprendio espanol por 7 anos pero olvide mucho porque no tengo el tiempo para practicar o mantener la lengua. I'm so embarrassed. I'm sure I made a bunch of mistakes there. See? Don't feel bad. Mi espanol es muy horible. :oops:
Thanks for all your encouragement guys. I don't think I could've gotten this far without you all.
See you tomorrow,
pinkangel
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| krushna
Forum Senior
Topics: 9
Posts: 175
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Hi angel
You are such a inspiring and encouraging person. I really mean it.
Its good you finalised the date. Wish you all the best !
I will surely pray for you!
keep rocking!
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| Roxanita
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 108
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Hey Pinkangel,
I Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas; have a great time with your loved ones, make your christmas wish ask Jesus to be your guide through this path. You have showed us your great heart and I know you are going to be a great doctor, I am sure this new year will come with many blesses for you.
MERRY CHRISTMAS PINKANGEL!
___________________
"We all basically have 2 choices in life: Let things stay the way they are or work to make them better"
-Julia Havey
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hi pink
its really very touching to read the post about ur parents!!!!i was very much moved by ur story!!!
how are you reading my friend!!!!
happy studying!!!! :lol: :lol:
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi Roxanita, Krushna, Moc, Kiran, and friends!
Thanks for stopping by to write in my diary. I am glad that my words were able to touch your hearts. I appreciate all of your best wishes and encouragement. You don't know how much it means to me during this time in my life.
Today was another day at Kaplan. Took the behavioral science assessment test and did well - 92. The ones I missed were statistics questions and one on sleep stages. Need to review them again. The rest of the day was spent on watching 5 hours of Immunology tapes and reviewing my notes again - I'm an audio-visual learner so the more I hear and see the stuff, the better it sticks. Just pray that it'll stick in my hippocampus long enough until I take my test. :? :shock:
Okay guys, tomorrow will be a half day for me - have errands to run. Will see if I have time to go to Kaplan tomorrow.
Good night!
Pinkangel
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| rofah2003
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 16
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Hiya Angel.
Just wanted to wish you and your family a happy holiday and keep up the good work. You help me keep going too.
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