pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi friends,
I'm embarassed to admit that I really enjoyed the day off on Thanksgiving. Holiday travels and socializing with old friends is not a good time to suddenly take out the books and study. Can we say schizoid personality/autistic behavior here? 8) So, I must say that I enjoyed the drive to and from my friends' house despite the usual holiday traffic. Call me a nerd, OCD, whatever, but I took out my MP3 player and listened to Goljan when the "adults" got together and talked about boring stuff. (to me anyone 10+ years older than me is immediately cast into that categoy) I happily sat on the couch in the other room by my self post turkey meal and listened to THE MAN talk about hematology. I can never get enough of this stuff.
niti - I'm so sorry that I couldn't make it to the Pharma chat last Wednesday! :oops: I will show up next time when I'm not at Kaplan. My hippocampus is badly in need of a memory upgrade. :?
Yesterday was Black Friday and despite the shopping frenzy, I didn't hit the malls. The USMLE 1 is just around the corner and I am not in any mood to shop. The not so funny thing is, I am not in any mood to study either. :oops: :shock: The day came and went with me not getting anything done academically. Okay, maybe doing 50 anatomy Q bank questions and finishing off the entire 2,000+ questions in my subscription is something to be happy about? :? I got a lot of questions wrong. I'm going to have to work on the nerves of the hand, leg, and arms before test day. MRI's and X-rays are okay. Have to go over the cranial nerves and their locations at the base of the skull. Yikes! MS 1 year all over again! I can still smell that formaldehyde permeating my books, hair and clothes. :shock:
Hmmmmm.... Tried to read another chapter of BRS Path last night but nodded off midway. :oops: :icon_sleep: :oops: Decided to go to bed and start the next day fresh.
Today isn't looking so good either. :? The Kaplan center is closed for the weekend. Thank God for Kaplan. I'm one of those people that need structure in order to study. Even the library is closed this weekend. I will have to make do with the time that I have at home. At least I still have another 7+ hours to do something productive today. :oops: :? :shock:
My plan for today:
1. Read BRS Pathology - 2 chapters
2. Redo 50 Q bank questions that I previously got wrong
3. Goljan audio - 1 hour, take notes
Like namf said, a little drop in my bucket, day by day, will get me where my knowledge will overflow. <:wahtch_where_you_go:> I'm sorry that I can't tell you I zipped through everything in the past few days, but I started this diary so I could keep myself accountable in my last month of preparation. Hope everyone had a good holiday and a productive day.
Love,
pinkangel
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| niti
Forum Guru
Topics: 36
Posts: 499
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Hi Pinkangel,
Nice to see u back ..its good to enjoy Holidays with friends and family.Its OK ..that u missed the chat..u r welcome anytime ) Hmmm.. this black Friday thing...how could you resist yourself from shopping wink well...I did shop a lot and didn't touch any book for 2 days ..now full of guilt cry
Yes...at present ,step1 is the most imp. thing and I will say that you have a supportive family ..mom with you...greatest emotional support ( ask me...how much i miss my mom..) so, u can pass this test with good marks ...
keepup..
niti
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| Roxanita
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 108
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Hi Angel,
I just love to read your dairy  it wakes me up :shock: and also gives me encourage, thanks :wink:
..your wings are showing...
Thanks for being an angel!
___________________
"We all basically have 2 choices in life: Let things stay the way they are or work to make them better"
-Julia Havey
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| niti
Forum Guru
Topics: 36
Posts: 499
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Hey Pink,
Just wondering...where r u? How are your studies going on?
Keep Up.. D
niti
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi niti and friends!
Sorry I have not been able to write my daily entries on a regular basis this past week. My computer crashed on me and it is now in the repair shop  I have not had access to a computer at home so I am writing to you all on a university library computer which I managed to access tonight.
Don't worry everyone! I am fine and have not given up. I've just been experiencing technical problems with both of my computers this past month - the first one's hard drive crashed on me and now my replacement HP from school has done the same thing since the last time I posted. :x
I appreciate everyone's concern and it is very encouraging to see that so many strangers out there in USMLE land care about me and my present situation. Thank you all! :P
I was feeling very depressed the past week. Thanks for all of your posts and pms. I don't really like the holidays. It's a time when everybody is supposed to be happy and enjoy the festivities. Not for me or anyone else who is preparing for this ugly exam. [-( No wonder the suicide rate goes up during this time of the year. LOL. Don't worry! I'm not that despondent plus I would never do that since I have faith in God. My motto is,"If you have enough courage to end your life, then you might as well use that courage to live it and see what happens." I always remind myself that there are so many people in the world who are in much worse situations than me - and they go on with their lives, no matter how depressing or miserable.
For those of you who are only interested in my academic diary, I'm sorry that I'm not a dry person. I am a deep thinker and more of an emotionally sensitive type who chose to pursue a specialty that strives to heal the wounds of those suffering from illnesses that deprive patients of their soul. I don't think I need to spell out which specialty it is as all of you are educated MD's. I do not respect those who enter this field just because it is "one of the less competitive or easy specialties to get into". I saw my specialty listed in one of the residency/match forums under "easy residencies to get into" and was pretty pissed off by the insensitivity of the person who posted this. Like namf said, I've seen too many residents and attendings in this specialty who couldn't care less about their patients and make fun of them after rounds are over. Shame on them! Now you all know that both of my parents are foreign medical graduates who practice in the US, so please do not take offense - but if you cannot speak enough English to communicate with your patient, YOU SHOULD NOT ENTER THIS FIELD! This person who posted my specialty in the "easy residencies to get into" category mentioned that he knew someone who could hardly speak English and got into a residency program. You should only pursue this specialty if you have genuine passion and interest in healing those suffering from illnesses that rob people of their soul. I refuse to shake the hand of anyone who enters this field just because "it is an easy residency to get into." [-( That's the worst reason to pursue this specialty. You are doing your future patients a huge disservice if this is the only reason why you are applying for a residency spot in this field.
Today was spent at the Kaplan center studying pharmacology- CNS drugs. Lots of reading done on this subject today. There are so many details to remember! I made an appointment to speak to the new medical advisor tomorrow morning. Hopefully, he can give me some good advice on how to manage my last month of study. He told me that he had problems passing Step 1 - is that encouraging or what? I don't know what to think of it. I told him that I know why I failed - didn't study hard enough! But he told me that if I knew why I failed, then I wouldn't have failed 3 times already. That made me really mad. I was thinking," Who are you to be Kaplan's medical advisor if you had so much trouble passing the exam? Gosh, maybe when I pass and in the case I don't match next year, maybe I can get a job with Kaplan too." :?
Can we say that I am having many negative feelings about my situation today? :shock: If only I had a passing USMLE 1 score, I would be able to start my training and begin the process of becoming a physician who truly wants to help patients in need. I am feeling very frustrated right now. I feel as if my studies are at a snail's pace, with many stops in between. Maybe it's a fat snail. :P
My plan for tomorrow:
1. Meet with Kaplan medical advisor and devise a final plan of attack for my upcoming exam.
2. After blowing off several days after Thanksgiving, I am really contemplating the thought of postponing my exam until mid January. I think I will be able to make a noticeable amount of progress to make a difference in my scores. I've been feeling pretty crappy lately due to personal circumstances which I will not go into detail here, but it has taken up a lot of study time and has thrown me off track for the past 2 weeks. :oops: When they say shit hits the fan, they really mean it! :x
Anybody agree or disagree with the idea of postponing my exam? I don't want to risk another failure. I'd rather pay another $50 and ensure a passing score rather than be hit by the news that I failed. :shock:
3. Listen to Goljan's lectures on GI.
4. Finish the last 2 tapes on CNS pharmacology at Kaplan. Read corresponding notes.
5. Start revision process. Anybody have ideas on where to begin? I am thinking the first topic I should hit is physiology intermixed with pathology since they are the top 2 high yield topics. Any input is welcome!
6. Continue reading FA - hit pharmacology and make sure I cover all the CNS drugs. Start reading this section a few pages every day.
OK everyone, thanks for taking the time to read my entries. Your encouragement has been wonderful and uplifting during this dark chapter of my life.
Till tomorrow,
pinkangel
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| lmbebo
Forum Elite
Topics: 36
Posts: 338
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g/l!
I'd read more, but you write novels of posts... too much late in the day.
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hi pinkangel
i really admire the way u write ur dairy.....its a very great talent and art.
i'm also doing my studies by combining all the 3 P's.....its really good but very time consuming.....my sincere advice is that its better if you do them separately as it atkes a lot of time.....and its not good for you at this last moment.
postpone the date if you dont feel confident.
happy studying!!!!
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| Moctopod
Forum Elite
Topics: 14
Posts: 422
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Hello Pinkangel
How's today been? Did your meeting with the Kaplan advisor go well? What's the strategy for the final push?
I can see the work is paying off, but don't know about delaying the exam. Will you go for NBME? Apparently that's a good correlator with the real thing, so maybe it's worth having a go before deciding.
Good luck,
Moc
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Good morning everyone,
I'm at the university library - apparently there's a branch that stays open all night! Anyways, before I retire for the night, I thought I would post my daily entry. My studies have been going slowly but surely, my meeting with the Kaplan advisor didn't enlighten me very much. He basically said the same thing that I've heard from everyone else studying for Step 1 at Kaplan:
1. Make sure to do the Kaplan assessment exams after studying each subject to see where my weak areas are. Do the Q book questions. Duh! Isn't that common knowledge for anyone taking a Kaplan course? :?
2. Go over weak areas and reread notes and rewatch lecture videos if necessary.
3. Take the simulated online Kaplan full length exam to see where I stand.
I've already heard this before from several people so I'm not very impressed with his advice. I feel like I'm getting milked for more money. It is all a marketing strategy - I really cannot afford to spend more money on Kaplan stuff - I was advised to subscribe to IV Q bank and Physio Q bank for more questions. Money does not grow on trees! I have gained much more helpful advice from the people on this forum than anywhere else. Thank you for telling me about Goljan! Not only are his lectures amazing, but his notes are fantastic. I feel like I have won half the battle already with his lecture notes in my hands! Thank you fellow MD friends. Your combined exam experiences and study strategies have been more helpful than you will ever know.
Niti: I really look forward to joining you for your chat sessions one of these days. It would be a great way for me to figure out what areas I need to strengthen. I will keep an eye on your chat schedule and pop up whenever I can. :P What an excellent idea! :idea: I really admire you for your initiative and continued hard work. I have no doubt in my mind that you will pass this exam with a super score. :icon_thumb:
My plan for tomorrow:
1. Attack pathology as my first subject for revision. I've been reading BRS path these past 2 weeks so it looks like I'm on the right track. Look through FA to make sure I am covering all the HY stuff. Thanks kiranadi for your wise advice. The 3 P's are a lot to cover, and I think I will study them individually first before doing a third revision in which I will practice integrating all of them together.
2. Continue reading Kaplan pharm notes- go over relevant sections in FA. Do pharm cards on CNS drugs.
3. I have decided to postpone my exam till mid January after assessing my progress on Q bank and NBME part 1. Thanks for your advice Moctopod! I haven't reached a comfortable passing threshold at this point so I don't think it would be wise to take the exam on the date that I had originally planned. :x Too many things going on in my life right now beyond my control that are taking precious time away from my studies. :? Now that I have Goljan lecture notes, I will make sure to read every page so I am fully armed before entering the tiger's den! :shock:
4. Continue building my stamina on Q bank by redoing questions that I got wrong. :_online_:
5. Last but not least, continue to think postive. Go the the Kaplan center every day and study, study, study. :icon_study:
It's getting really late guys, and I'm starting to fall asleep so goodnight everyone. Sweet dreams. :icon_sleep:
Love,
pinkangel
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hi pink...
how are you doing?just peeped into ur dairy to tell you hi!! :lol:
did you finish your set target for today 8)!!!
goodnite!!! :lol:
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi everyone!
I finished my goals for today!  I was so happy to have finished all the video lectures on Kaplan pharmacology this afternoon. :P Afterwards, I spent the rest of the day starting my revision. I need to go back and reread my pharm notes as I have forgotten so many of the drugs! :oops: I started my second reading process with the first chapter of my Kaplan notes - pharmacokinetics. Dr. Lionel Raymon (the Kaplan biochem guy) explains this material so well so I watched the corresponding videos for the second time as well. It really helps me to understand the material when I hear it again. Anyone else here an auditory/visual learner?
My plan for tomorrow:
1. Continue rereading Kaplan pharm notes - chapter 2 which is on pharmacodynamics and the next section which is autonomic pharmacology. :? EEEEKKKK! I am having trouble committing this section to memory. For some reason, my hippocampus refuses to map out a permanent memory trace for this section. ](*,) :x Nicotinic, muscarinic, cholinergic, sympathomimetic, on and on it goes. Lippincott's pharmacology review seems to have a clearer presentation on this subject so my plan is to supplement Kaplan notes while reviewing this odius topic. I don't know how long it will take me to cover all this stuff, but I am hoping to finish it in a few hours. I am very slow when it comes to memorizing alpha, beta, cAMP second messenger channels, and last but not least, those obnoxious HR and BP tracings for epinephrine, norepinephrine, isoproterenol, etc. It's enough to give me arrhythmias. :?
kiranadi: I know how it feels to have completed only 1 or 2 subjects in a day - I am moving at a snail's pace when it comes to pharmacology - especially the autonomic section. It worries me that my recall in this subject is so poor as I know it is a highly tested topic on the boards. :-s
Anyone have suggestions for studying this material? It goes in one ear and out the other. Writing the stuff down seems to help only temporarily. <:from_book:> <:help:>
2. Continue with pathology revision. I am using BRS and Goljan notes for this subject.
3. Do 50 Q bank questions from my incorrectly answered pool. :_online_:
4. Hit the gym for an hour of cardio. Postponing my exam until mid January is no excuse to slack off! The pressure is on and stress is building up with each passing day. This last agenda is purely for my benefit in order to maintain my sanity! :shock:
As always, thanks for all your support. I couldn't have come this far without all of your encouraging posts.
Good night everyone! :icon_sleep:
Till tomorrow,
pinkangel
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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What a frustrating day! Pharmacology is pure memorization - something that I dislike very much. :icon_scratch: I managed to start the autonomics section before I got frustrated with all the receptors, miosis, mydriasis, anhydrosis, etc. ](*,)
Bah. I put it aside for today and told myself to pick up where I left off tomorrow.
I managed to accomplish the other goals I set for today, including the 1 hour of cardio before calling it a day.
My plan for tomorrow:
1. Continue with pharmacology autonomics - do Lippincott review and questions in that book.
2. Continue reading Goljan lecture notes for my Path revision. Do related questions on Q bank. :_online_:
3. Listen to 1 hour of Goljan audio. This is my favorite part of the day besides drinking my daily cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. :wink:
4. Go through FA and make sure I cover relevant HY topics for pharm - a few pages every day adds up! Do the same for pathology during the revision process.
5. Go to the gym if I have time and energy.
Everybody, keep on going! Time doesn't wait for anyone. :icon_study:
Goodnight! :icon_sleep:
pinkangel
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| niti
Forum Guru
Topics: 36
Posts: 499
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Hi pinkangel,
good morning D
You are doing really great.Keep going... yes time doesn't wait for anyone ...this is a big truth and it makes us realize so many imp. things other than this exam...so,better to finish this in due time P Well..I started talking to myself...going back to study now | ...bye
Keep Up..
niti
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hello everybody!
I hope everyone had a productive week and weekend. Today was Sunday so I allowed myself to take some time off before hitting the books again full force tomorrow.
Yesterday was spent going over Goljan notes while listening to lectures. I still need to review autonomic pharm - how many times does it take an average human being to remember this stuff? I don't have a problem memorizing drugs and bugs but this receptor stuff is driving me nuts. :x :icon_scratch: ](*,)
I did some more Q bank questions from my incorrect pool and noticed that I'm slowly improving. Hmmmmm.... in a way, I think Q bank can be misleading especially if you've seen the questions before. Sometimes it is possible to remember the correct answers if you're like me or namf - I remember him writing about spending hours going over the answers to the questions he got wrong. I am going to keep at the Q bank until my subscription ends in 10 days and then hit NMS questions and Goljan pathology comprehensive questions. Questions, questions, questions! They will help me get to the final goal - passing this damn exam!
Goodnight everyone, :icon_sleep:
pinkangel
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| Roxanita
Forum Senior
Topics: 16
Posts: 108
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Hi Pinkangel,
How are you doing angel? we don't know about you since sunday, hopefully everything is fine. I always love to read your diary
Keep up the good work angel /
Happy studying
Roxy.
___________________
"We all basically have 2 choices in life: Let things stay the way they are or work to make them better"
-Julia Havey
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just wanted to say hi to you
how are you doing?hope ur studying is fruitful!!!!
happy studying!!!! :lol: :lol:
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi Niti, Roxanita and Kiran!
Thank you for stopping by to say hello! Your posts always cheer me up and prod me along to keep going no matter what.
The last few days have been pathetically fruitless. :? I was feeling very depressed and wanted to throw all my books away at one point. :cry: :oops: I have not had the time to go to the university library since my last post. :_online_: My home computer is still in the technician's shop. Arrrggghhh!! It is rather inconvenient to have an online subscription to Qbank when access to a computer is limited.
:x My sleeping schedule got messed up after studying until the wee hours of the night at the library last week so I decided that I had to stop this before it turned me into a nocturnal creature. This is not good for one's mental health or cognitive function - as all of you already know. This is a mental digression/free association thing I'm doing now - good for me, maybe scary for you :shock: I have become a virtual hamster the past few days, doing whatever I can manage during my waking hours. I am making a formal rule that I forgot to write in my first entry like namf did with his diary:
Rule #1: I can and will free associate,digress,rant,etc. in order to relieve my stress in a healthy way without being inappropriately vulgar or offensive to others.
With that aside, here is what's been going on since I last wrote. This Monday I woke up late :oops: - and feeling like the bottom of my stomach fell out. :shock: I think exam anxiety has officially set in along with a pinch of depression. Not major depressive disorder with suicidal tendencies or anything - Just enough to feel like staying in bed curled up in fetal position wanting to shut the world out. :cry:
I did put in some drops in my USMLE bucket - not productive ones, just the endless salty tears of frustration, fatigue, and fear of failure and its consequences. After a while, I made myself get out of bed and take the train to the Kaplan center that afternoon. I had a meeting with the Kaplan medical advisor who helped me regain my focus and strength. I am so tired of trying to stay strong! Sometimes I feel like I am letting you all down when I have fruitless days. These are the dangerous thoughts of depression. I WILL NOT GIVE UP! NOT WHEN I HAVE COME SO FAR AND SO CLOSE TO ACHIEVING MY DREAM.
Someone once said it is the last lap of the marathon that determines the victor. How true those words are.
The Kaplan advisor helped me to write out a revised schedule for my final month of study - I've postponed my exam till mid January in order to assure that I will leave that tiger's den with victory. He reassured me that many people have come into his office upset/depressed, even men crying like babies about the USMLE. He told me about his own story and other people's stories of victory after shedding so many tears. I felt better knowing that I wasn't the only one shedding tears of frustration and despair that day. :wink:
I'm still doing pathology with Dr. Goljan - lectures plus his notes but my Kaplan revision strategy has changed. Thank God for Goljan!
Pharmacology - 5 days - take assessment test next Monday. Oh God. Please pray that I get a decent score. I have been struggling through 60 pages of Kaplan notes today but I don't like it very much. Things just don't stick. I think depression has a lot to do with it. Never fear. I am a stubborn person. Thank God for that! This time it works in my favor! I will keep getting up no matter how many times I slip and fall because I know God is always there to help me back up on my feet again. Without His help, I would never have gotten this far or have met so many supportive and helpful friends on this forum. Thank you all! You know who you are.
I've gone to Lippincott's like I planned in my previous postings and am finding it very helpful for memorizing the receptors - nicotinic, muscarinic, cholinergic as well as the individual function of drugs. I have 20 more pages to go before I finish today's task. After that, I will go to the gym and work off that ugly depression and stress. Knowing that you've burned 700+ calories in 1 hour also is an endorphin producer too. :wink:
Micro - 2 days - assessment test.
Immuno - 2 days - assessment test.
Physiology-5 days -assessment test.
Path - ongoing, intermixed with all subjects. Assessment test done last.
Kaplan simulated full length exam - shooting for Dec. 21st
Target date for exam - January 16,2005 - need to pick first available date in Jan. after getting my orange permit. Just sent in my extension request with the $50. NBME is a money eater! The raise the USMLE prices by $20 every year. :?
I will stop my oral diarrhea for now. As someone once posted "You write novels for posts." Yes I do. Read at your own discretion and at your own leisure. I keep this solely for myself - to keep myself accountable to my fellow colleagues who are going through the same thing, to get multiple kicks in the rear when necessary and/or deserved, to get words of wisdom, encouragement, constructive criticism, etc. If my entries amuse, entertain, or even inspire, that is an additional benefit for the good of everyone. It is a public diary so I hold myself fully responsible for its contents. And yes, for those of you who wonder about my long posts - sometimes I use this as the time to destress. I type like a maniac so don't worry. It doesn't take me an hour to write my long posts. If only my reading speed were as fast. I would be done with my 10th reading by this time. LOL.
OK guys. The oral Imodium AD is starting to take effect. The verbiage is coming to an end. The next post shouldn't be so loose 8) Ok,ok. I can hear the groans already.
Never give up the fight. Only the strongest survive and all of us can do it! So many before us have! Keep your noses to the grindstone and study, study, study! :icon_study:
Love,
pinkangel
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| Moctopod
Forum Elite
Topics: 14
Posts: 422
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Hi Pinkangel
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| krushna
Forum Senior
Topics: 9
Posts: 175
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Good plan pink angel!
Keep studying!
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi everyone,
Well, today was another day as usual. More pharmacology to study, mostly reading from Lippincott while using FA and Kaplan notes as a guide. I'm dreading tomorrow's topic: cardiac pharm. Yuck.
Did 50 questions from Qbank from a random pool with results in the 70's. I'm not counting on this too much since these are repeat questions that I had gotten wrong the first time around.
Hope everyone had a productive day. I just came back from the gym and burned 800 calories on the cardio machine. I picked up my computer from the shop today so now I'm good to go! Endorphins are bathing my neurons from the things I've accomplished today. Nothing is better than a natural high. The only other thing that would top that is getting a passing score on this $%&!# exam. 8) :P :shock: That day will come for all of us.
Alright everyone, keep up the good work. One drop at a time, every day, will result in a flood one day. Keep it up! Time is ticking away.
Till tomorrow,
pinkangel
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| rofah2003
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 16
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Hey there Pinkangel,
You are an inspiration. My story is much like yours and as a habitual nonpasser, I can say that I have fought the same doubt demons that you have. I am just gearing up to start my review again an needed some fellow survivalist's stories to help me along.
I have a question for you, how are you keeping yourself inspired to study on your own after having faced these same books, questions, notes already? I am having such a hard time. I graduated in 2003 and have taken the test 2x since then. My score goes up, but not enough. Anyway, I am hoping to pass this test this next time as I am not willing to take any more time off and am nervous about too long of a gap between graduating and starting residency.
Any advice is welcome.
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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"rofah2003" wrote:
Hey there Pinkangel,
You are an inspiration. My story is much like yours and as a habitual nonpasser, I can say that I have fought the same doubt demons that you have. I am just gearing up to start my review again an needed some fellow survivalist's stories to help me along.
I have a question for you, how are you keeping yourself inspired to study on your own after having faced these same books, questions, notes already? I am having such a hard time. I graduated in 2003 and have taken the test 2x since then. My score goes up, but not enough. Anyway, I am hoping to pass this test this next time as I am not willing to take any more time off and am nervous about too long of a gap between graduating and starting residency.
Any advice is welcome.
Hi rofah2003,
Thanks for taking the time to write in my diary. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. Sounds like we are both in a similar situation - have you applied for the match this year? I am starting to get anxious as I've already postponed my exam until the first available date in mid January - NBME doesn't offer the USMLE during the first 2 weeks of January for some reason.
My source of strength and inspiration is my faith in God. He has been with me all along through my trials and triumphs and He has shown me that He has a plan for me. I am a presbyterian Christian and my faith has only gotten stronger as I think back to the events in my life and how He has always managed to keep me from harm's way. I see my repeated failures as His way of teaching me a hard learned lesson - If I will not study in earnest with all my might, then I do not deserve to practice medicine. God only helps those who help themselves. He sees my heart and until I am earnest and dedicated enough to study hard, He will not let me go on to residency. He is doing this because He loves me and wants me to be in good form before letting me roam the halls of any US hospital. I put all my trust in Him as He has always placed me in the right schools for me in the past - college, medical school, and I'm sure residency.
The other source of support is my fellow colleagues here on the USMLE forum. Hearing your story tonight inspired me and reassured me that I'm not alone. There are so many people struggling to pass this exam so I shouldn't complain as I'm not alone.
I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't study in earnest the first 3 times so I am not tired of my books really. My scores kept going up with each attempt as well, but I never really studied with all my might as I shoudl have. I missed passing by 5 points last time. My 3 digit score was a 170 like namf, who was an AMG on this forum not too long ago with a great daily diary which had a happy ending. It took the third failure for me to finally wake up and smell the coffee. :shock:
For the first time in my studying for this exam, I've read through all my Kaplan notes this time around. :oops: Now I'm doing my second reading. I even managed to finish all the questions at the end of the chapters as well as finish all 2000+ questions on Qbank. People on this forum introduced me to Dr. Goljan and his lectures have been another motivating factor for me. I go to the gym at least every other day to work out for an hour so that I won't lose my sanity during this stressful period.
Hope this helps. Thanks for writing. Best of luck to you. Keep in touch.
pinkangel
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Well,
Friends, today was another pharm day - this time with cardiac pharm. My least favorite subject out of the lot. :? Glad to be through with it. Will be moving on to CNS and endocrine tomorrow. Wish me luck.
I just burned 1000 calories on the cardio machine tonight at the gym so I feel great!
Keep studying everyone!
pinkangel
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| pinkangel
Forum Elite
Topics: 8
Posts: 272
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Hi guys,
I've been holed up in the university library all day and have been struggling through the last bits of pharmacology review. I think I finally have the receptor stuff down. Now it's the memorization part of the different drugs that kills me. :? I plan to focus on the HY drugs in first aid - anyone else have other suggestions?
The lipppincott pharm review book is very thick and I honestly don't think it's humanly possible to remember ALL the drugs in that book. I didn't like the Kaplan notes for this subject - as other people on the forum said, I felt the sections were too condensed and were not too clear with explanations for the autonomic pharmacology. :icon_scratch: :-k #-o
I'm going to go over Goljan HY notes under pharm and work on memorizing and retaining the mechanisms of drugs in my last month of study. I take the assessment test at Kaplan on Monday so I am quite nervous about it. :shock:
Hope everyone has a productive weekend. Tomorrow is my designated day off - time to go to church, reflect on my accomplishments and shortcomings this past week, and to catch up with unfinished readings.
See you on Monday,
pinkangel
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| rofah2003
Forum Newbie
Topics: 3
Posts: 16
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Hey Pinkangel,
Thanks for your in depth reply. I admire your ability to take time off from studying to post your own study process in addition to sharing your personal experiences with others. I am trying to get the groove back on. But it is one SLOW process. You've helped. I started on physio today and am taking it one day at a time.
Like you, I got a 71 my last attempt but unfortunately, I really felt that I gave it my all.
So I guess the take home message is; Give it MORE!
Anyway, thanks again.
Keep up the great work.
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