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 can anyon solve this confusion?  

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I was studying behavioral science and while studying defense mechanism "passive-aggressive" dr.?(who is lecturing) said in this type of defense people first assure that they will do something then they make sure it does not happen and he gave the example of the secretary who is angry at the boss and then he tells her a very important work and she assures him she will do it and then she does not do it.
The problem is defense mechanisms are unconscious,so how can someone do it without knowing it,this is very conscious on that woman's part.
Did I miss something can anyone explain to me what wrong here?


ofc she knows what she did, but she didn't consciously know that it was a defense mechanism for her anger from her boss .


thanx for your post batmanx; but here is the thing she knows she is angry at the boss she has no reason to not send it without it,e.g if a person is using displacement as a defense and shouts at wife after his boss shouted at him,if you would ask that person he'd say he was angry at wife,but this secretary in passive aggressive she is consciously not sending his papers because he is mean to her,so she wants to hurt him and can't risk doing the same to him so she is being passive but making sure she is hurting him,I just don't get what kind of defense is passive-aggressive,all the examples are same for this type,it just mean they are mean people consciously and aware of everything nothing is defense in this case.same with all other examples of passive-aggressive,a person extends his leg so that other person falls then acts i dont know what happened etc,they are just being mean.they are playing tit for tat and its no defense.since they are aware what they are doing and WHY thy are doing.
also lets take reaction formation,in this defense a young boy who is campaigning against graphic images in magazines ,if you would ask him he will say he is concernd and he wont be aware that he is doing it because he was initially attracted to it.while in this case passive-aggressive know why they did it.

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NEED your advice Ujaala,Puchpal or anyon
solve this
solve it please
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